My Dark Secret
by WeirdAboutDreams
Summary: Bella has a secret that she doesn't want the Cullen's to know. How long will she be able to hide it?  How will the Cullen's react when they learn that Jacob raped her? How does she even begin to heal her heart is already torn from Charlie's death. AU
1. Chapter 1

UPDATED CHAPTER 01/05/2011

**Chapter One**

I lay on the beach, naked and trembling. Unable to move because of the pain inside me. I felt like my insides had been slashed with a razor. Why had this happened? Had I asked for this? Was this my punishment for leading him on? Sure, I had feelings for Jake, but I always held Edward in my heart. Jake was just my best friend; I had made it clear to him on many occasions that I didn't carry the same feelings for him as he did for me.

I sat up slowly as I fumbled my hands around, looking for my clothes. I didn't understand what had happened, but I knew that I couldn't let my family know. They would come after Jacob and break the treaty and they would never be able to return to these lands. I would never see Forks again, and Forks was the only thing I had, other than Jake, that keep the memories alive. Whatever it was that was happening with him, I knew it would never happen again.

I finally found my clothes and pulled them back onto my bruised body. He had been strong; I wasn't able fight him off. There was something different about him. I just couldn't place what it was.

When I had come over tonight he had said it was best that we didn't see each other again. I had begged him to take a walk with me. I had thought if I could get him away from his friends that maybe he would change his mind. They had to be the ones changing him, it had all started the moment they had started hanging around him.

I needed Jake in my life; he was my sun. He was one of my last links to Charlie. He had been like a rock for me ever since Charlie was diagnosed. He had helped me come to terms with the fact that my dad was passing on. He helped with the funeral arrangements, making everything the way Charlie would have wanted it.

I couldn't live without Jake, I needed him to stay in my life. He had promised to always be there for me, and for the past month he had been trying to break that promise. I wasn't going to let him.

Edward wanted me to forget about him, but that was only because he didn't like him being around - but none of the Cullen's did. Alice was unable to see my future when ever Jake was around., it unsettled all of them for reasons I never understood.

While Charlie was ill and not long after his death, were the only times that Edward had let me go to the reservation. I knew that it annoyed him, but he seemed to bite him tongue. The longer it went on the more infuriated he became with the situation and when Jake started avoiding me he took that as a sign to step in. He did everything he could to stop me going over there and his family helped him, typically Alice. She was always reporting to him any plans I was in the process of making.

In the end the only way I could get over to the reservation was a split second decision which I had to act on right away, giving them no head starts, so they didn't reach the treaty line before I did. It always lead to a fight with Edward afterwards.

Tonight I wished I had pushed the visit off to another time, if I had come over during the day, in the daylight then maybe none of this would have happened. When we sat on the beach there would have been other people around. He probably wouldn't have felt so tempted.

I wiped the tears from my eyes as I stiffly pulled myself to my feet, grinding through the pain. I had to pull myself together before I returned to my family, to Edward. They were suspicious of Jake as it was without me giving them any reason for concern.

I started walking off the beach towards the road. My body felt sore all over. As I walked I practised hiding the pain. I wasn't sure how well I was doing. The closer I got to the line the harder I tried as I knew Edward could be there waiting on me.

I suddenly realised as I turned the corner and now that Edward was in view. I didn't have the van. I tried to hide the fear and panic that was creeping over me with every step I took. I did my best to hide the pain.

*'*'*

_I sat with tears in my eyes as I looked over Jacob. "Jake...Please Jake... Please don't do this to me, I need you Jake!"_

_"Need me? You can't have us both Bella, you can't keep leading me on." He growled._

_"Jake, I have always told you that I didn't feel for you the way you felt for me. I never led you on!"_

_He jumped to his feet and glared down at me. "Never led me on Bella? What about the way that you look at me, how we hold hands? You lie in my arms for God's sake, as we talk for hours. You can't tell me that means nothing to you, that you never felt anything for me!"_

_"Jake, don't," I sobbed._

_Before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine, forceful and needy. "Jake, don't... Please!" I pleaded with him as I tried to shove him off with all my strength, but I couldn't make him budge. It was like trying to move a wall. His lips were hungry as they worked their way down my neck, his hands cupping my breasts. _

_"Jake..."_

_*'*'*_

I shook my head trying to shake the images away. I didn't want to remember. I had to pull myself together.

"Where's your truck?" he asked, confused as his eyes studied me.

"It won't start." I sighed. He stood silent waiting for me to continue. "I left Jake looking at it, I thought you would be waiting."

He sniffed the air and a snarl escaped his lips. I jumped. "Edward?" I whimpered.

"Why are you bleeding?" He asked as he grabbed my arm and started to look around me.

I pulled away from him. I stood starring at the ground, trying to find the words to say. I was bleeding. Of course I was bleeding. Jacob had just raped me. He had just forced himself on me and he was rough...

"I fell... and I have my period."

He snarled again.

"Edward, your scaring me!"

"Bella! Tell me the truth," he yelled.

"I am!" I yelled back as I started to sob. "Jacob... we had an argument. I fell while I was turning to walk away from him, I went over a rock and straight onto the ground. I'm fine, it was nothing. I insisted on walking to you while he looked at the car because it really wouldn't start."

I felt Edward's eyes on me, searching for the answers he wasn't getting. "Is that all it is?" He asked as placed his hand under my chin, making me look at him.

"Yes."

He stood looking at me as if he was trying to figure out what I wasn't telling him. He eventually let go off my chin and I turned my head away. I couldn't stand to look at him any longer; not when I knew I was lying to him.

"Come, let me carry you home," he said as he gave me his hand. I hesitated looking at it.

"Didn't you bring the car?" I asked looking around, though I knew he hadn't

"Do you want me to get someone to bring the car?"

I nodded. He sighed.

Edward pulled his phone out and hit the speed dial. I guess whoever he called knew why he was calling as he didn't speak before hanging up. He slid his phone in his pocket and rubbed my arm. "Jasper will be here in a minute."

"God Bella!" He sighed. "You make it so hard to be angry at you times. Are you all right? Do you need Carlisle to have a look at you?"

"No!" I answered a little too quickly, which didn't go unnoticed. "I'm fine 'honestly' Edward. I'm mostly tired." I offered him a trivial smile.

We stood in silence for a few more minutes. He never took his eyes from me. I knew that he suspected something and this wasn't going to be the last I heard of it.

I sighed with relief as Jasper finally pulled up in the Volvo. Edward opened the car door for me, and I climbed into the back. When I got in the car Jasper turned to me confused. "Are you okay, Bella? Is that blood?" He glanced at Edward. I wasn't sure if his face was full of worry over what he would do to me or, because he was picking up on what I was feeling.

"I'm fine." I answered as I looked out the window avoiding eye contact with him. I watched the two of them out the corner of my eye as we drove. I could see the two of them exchange looks. I knew they were talking about me. I tried not to worry about it, maybe I was being overly paranoid.

We were back at the house before I knew it and Edward jumped out the car and opened the door for me to get out. I slid past him and made my way towards the house. He was at my side in seconds. "Are you hungry? Have you ate?" He asked.

"I've already ate, Bill cooked." I quickly answered as we entered the house. He made his way to the living-room, but I made my way to the stairs. He looked at me confused. "I want to shower, these clothes are dirty." I turned and headed up the stairs, praying he wouldn't follow and he didn't.

When I finally made it into the safety of his room I wanted to crumble, but I knew that their ears would be listening. So I forced myself to hold it together a moment longer. I grabbed the nearest pyjamas and headed into the bathroom, starting the shower. Only once I was inside the wall of water did I let the tears come.

I scrubbed and scrubbed at my skin, but no matter what I did, I just couldn't feel clean. I grabbed the bottle of bleach from under the sink and poured it over my skin as I scrubbed. My skin got redder and redder, but I didn't feel any cleaner.

A knock on the door woke me from my trance. "Love, are you okay?" It was Edward.

"I'm just coming. Give me a moment to dress." I shouted out to him as I rushed to turn the shower off. I quickly dried myself and pulled on my pyjamas. I pretended to open the cupboard to pull out the bleach and I poured it over the pants I had been wearing and set it on fire in the sink.

Edward rushed through the door, giving me a fright. "Why are you burning them?" He asked as he looked in the sink.

"They were stained and I didn't want the smell to annoy anyone... I thought it was the right thing to do." I quickly placed the bleach back and went into the room, slipping into the bed before he had time exam my body with his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he followed me into the room.

"Yes. I'm just tired and I thought you would want to get away for your hunt."

"Bella." He sighed as he sat down on the bed, taking my hand. "When am I ever in a hurry to leave you?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant it was okay to leave because I was tired." I could feel tears begin to sting my eyes, I looked down so he couldn't see them.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I wish you would talk to me, Bella." He whispered. He got up and headed for the door, pausing for a moment. "I will be tomorrow, maybe then you will talk to me." Then he left.

I turned over, trying to force myself not to cry, though a few tears escaped. Not all vampires were leaving the house tonight. I still had to keep up the act. That meant I had to go to sleep. I fought against the thoughts that tired to enter my mind as I tried to let sleep take me. It was a restless night.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

UPDATED CHAPTER 1/05/2011

**Chapter Two**

I woke up with the sunlight streaming through window onto my face. I grunted at the Sun, today I didn't want to wake up. I turned my back on the sun, willing myself back to sleep. After several minutes I realised it wasn't going to happen. Today I would have to face the real world, sleep would no longer hide me.

I slowly got out of bed, flinching with pain. My reminder that last night hadn't just been a nightmare like I had hoped. I hobbled towards the toilet. I felt dirty again and wanted - no, needed - to scrub my skin. I had to remove the memories.

I closed the bathroom door and started to slip my clothes off. My panties were stained with dried blood. I felt my eyes flood with tears as my body started to shake. _Not the time to lose it, Bella._ I had to get rid of them before a member of my family caught the scent. I wasn't sure how different my period would smell to _this_. I put panties in the sink and grabbed a bottle of bleach from under it, pouring the contents over them. I left it to soak as I made my way over to the shower.

I stood in the shower for almost an hour; scrubbing myself with a nail brush, trying to remove the unseen dirt. It was useless, no amount of cleaning was going to give me the sense of being clean. I was soiled, damaged goods. I finally emerged out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself as I made my way over to the sink. I tried to force myself not to think of what I was doing and what it represented as I scrubbed and washed the bleach from my panties, before shoving them in a bag for me to throw in the bin. I didn't want to start another fire and bring attention to myself.

I headed back into our bedroom, searching through the wardrobe for something to wear. I finally settled on one of my favorite pair of dark blue boyfriend jeans and a plain black hoodie. Alice wouldn't approve, but I was in no mood to accommodate her today. Once I was ready I grabbed the bag and headed downstairs. I needed to find something to eat, to keep myself occupied from my thoughts.

I sighed with relief when I saw downstairs was empty. I tossed the bag in the bin outside and started looking through the fridge for something to make . Truth be told I wasn't in the mood to eat anything, but I didn't want anyone to become suspicious at my lack of appetite. They would notice if I hadn't used any food or tossed it out without eating. I settled for a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen island.

"How are you feeling?" I jumped when I heard the voice speak. I looked up to see Alice sitting on one of the counters. "Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's okay; I guess I'm still half asleep." I mumbled.

She nodded, but remained quiet as she waited for my answer.

"I'm fine." I answered her as I continued to eat.

"Are you sure?"

I sighed looking up at her. She was on one of her Alice missions where she wasn't going to give up till she got what she wanted. "I'm fine, Alice, why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seemed a little upset last night..."

"Honestly, Alice, I was just tired. I wanted to go straight to bed."

"I had changing visions of you all night. That's _not _normal." She folded her arms as she frowned.

"I...I... was just a little upset. Jake and I had argued and then the truck wasn't working."

She jumped down and walked over to stand in front of me. "Please Bella! Talk to me." She gave her best pout.

I sighed and put the spoon down in my bowl, only having eaten half its contents. "Alice, really, I'm fine! I was tired and sore, that's..."

"Bella, please!" Alice interrupted me. "If you're going to lie about it do a better job than that!" She shook her head at me.

I got up from the seat. "Really, Alice, I'm not lying... I'm fine..." I turned and walked towards the kitchen door. Damn Alice and her damn questions. I had enough to deal with today. I couldn't handle a day full of _her_ shit. I marched through the living-room to the front the front door.

She was standing there waiting on me with a smug smile on her face. "I can't let you leave."

I glared at her. "What do you mean you _can't _let me leave?"

She shrugged. "I promised Edward I would keep an eye on you and that I wouldn't let you leave the house."

"Why? Why would you do that?" I asked clenching my fists.

"Because he made it worth my while." She said as she skipped over to me. "He's buying me a Porsche!" She giggled whispering in my ear.

I grunted at her and turned, marching up the stairs, turning all my rage to him. He had no right! He couldn't just make me a prisoner in my own home. If he was going to treat me like this then I was leaving as soon as he got home.

I raced into our room and grabbed my phone off the dresser, punching in his number. "He won't answer," I screamed at her as I stormed over and slammed the door in her face. The phone rang out. He didn't answer. His voicemail beeped.

"Edward Cullen! Just who do you think you are? Having Alice keep me here in this house! You have no right what-so-ever! I am not yours, Edward; I do NOT belong to you like some object." I burst into tears. "You have no right!" I sobbed, tossing the phone at the floor in the attempt to break it.

"Bella..." Alice said as she came over to me, wrapping her arms around me. "Please, Bella, we're friends... talk to me."

"Let go of me, Alice!" I shouted at her with weak attempts to get free from her arms.

She pulled away from me, hurt in her eyes. "Bella, I'm only trying to help you."

"Help?" I screamed at her as the tears flooded my eyes. "You're as bad as he is!"

"Really, Bella... can you blame him?" She put up her finger to shush me before I could speak. "Something happened last night, and you won't tell him. You won't tell _me,_ Bella! Now, you can lie to me for as long as you want that nothing happened, but that doesn't solve anything. You came home covered in sand, and dirt, you smelled like wet dog and Jasper..." She took a breath." Jasper said he was picking up all sorts of emotions from you; he said you were pretty shaken up. Not to mention the fact that you were bleeding. We all smelled it and before you say anything, no one buys your period story." She tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears as she looked into my eyes, seeking her friend to confide in her. "Bella, let me help you, let us help you... the whole family is worried."

"I fell! Now just, GET OUT!" I screamed at her. I watched the pain of my words ripple through her and then she was gone

I curled up on the floor, sobbing..Why had this happened? What did I do to deserve this? How was I ever going to be strong enough to keep this from them? I wasn't even sure if I could be _that _strong. They already knew that something was wrong. I had to find a way to keep this secret.

-'-'-

I woke as I felt someone playing with my hair. I looked up to see Edward, his eyes full of worry.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to waken you."

He looked at me, waiting for a response. I sat staring at him, the anger I had felt earlier was now gone. I just wanted to be in his arms, to feel safe and loved. I crawled over to him, sitting down on his lap. I leaned into his chest, his arms wrapped around me instantly.

It felt so good to be in his arms, but yet it felt tainted, tarnished. Something wasn't right and it was me. Could Edward tell?

"Bella, I'm worried about you. I wish you would tell me what's wrong." He kissed my head softly.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until I realized that he was waiting for me, giving me time to answer him. I looked up at his face, such loving eyes so full of worry. It made me sad to have to lie to him. Unable to look at him, I whispered "Edward, I feel silly now, I was just thinking about Charlie, and I got worked up. I'm sorry." He put his hand under my chin, making me look at him.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded as I wriggled my head away from him, placing it back on his chest, inhaling his scent. _It should have been Edward._ The thought hit me out of no where, but I knew it to be true. My first time should have been with Edward. Jacob had no right to take that away from me, from us. I wanted to get it back, there had to be some way to fix it. I just needed to _fix_ it... I looked up at him. He was watching me, worrying. I didn't like to cause him worry. I loved him _so_ much.

I lay there starring at his lips, his soft, cold lips. I wanted, no I _needed_ to feel them on me. I turned so I was straddling him, I placed my lips on his. I needed Edward more than ever right now. I needed him to claim me as his, to wipe away the memories of Jacob. He kissed me back with little meaning behind his lips. I knew he was still worried, he was just trying to give me what I wanted.

"Kiss me, Edward." I ordered him as I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling at it.

His kisses were getting hungrier. I was winning him over. I moaned as I slipped my tongue into his mouth, his tongue circled mine, they danced together with such passion. I moved my hands down to his shirt, beginning to unbutton it. I got the first button undone when I felt his hands at my wrists. "Please ,Edward." I begged him, kissing him harder as I started to grind myself into his groin. I needed him to let go, for once.

"Bella!" he said taking me by the hips and sitting me down on the bed, away from him. I looked at him as I pouted my lip, crawling back over to him seductively and kissing my way up his shirt. I felt his hands on me again. "Bella, we have to stop." He was panting, trying to get some sort of control over himself.

"I don't want to stop!" I told him as I kissed and licked his hands, which were now placed on my shoulders. "Take me, Edward... I want you to take me."

He sat me back on the bed and stood up, moving over to the window, trying to calm himself down. He was struggling to get control over his instincts; my last words had sent his emotions into over load. I stood up and started to stroll over to him.

"Bella, just stay!" he snarled at me.

I ignored him, and continued to him.

"Bella, you'll be the death of us both." he moaned as he put his hands on my waist, stopping me from coming too close.

"Please, Edward... I need you," I pleaded with him. He didn't want me? He was rejecting me? I needed him, I wanted him to show his love for me. Did he know that I was damaged goods? I was now someone else's seconds. "Please," I begged, shoving against his arms, tears streaming down my face.

"Bella ...I...I can't... I won't." He said shaking his head as he struggled with me to keep me at a safe distance. "It's too dangerous, you know that."

"Don't you want me, Edward? Don't you love me?" I asked him, as my chest heaved with sobs.

"Bella, of course I love you. I will always love you." He pulled me into his loving arms, placing a kiss on my head. I took the chance and started to unbutton his shirt. He moved away with a sigh, over to the door out of my reach, confusion and hurt in his eyes.

There was a knock at the door. "Not now." he hissed as he kept his eyes on me.

Alice walked in, followed by Jasper. "Edward, I think it's best if we go downstairs... let Jasper calm her down." He wanted to protest, but she pulled him out of the door, and Jasper closed the it before he could say a word.

Jasper stood starring at me, I could feel his calming vibes take over my body. He came over and guided me to the bed and I lay down, there was no fight left in me. He sat beside me and placed his hand on my arm. The connection between us getting stronger.

We sat for hours. Darkness started to fall and for all the time we sat together he never once asked me to explain myself, my feelings. He was here to help, not to judge. My rock in my time of need. I was grateful to him; he had given me everything I needed. I was now strong enough, ready to take on this task and try to repair the damage I had caused.

Esme appeared at the door. She gave a tiny knock to attract my attention. "Bella, we've made you some dinner. I think you will feel much better after having some food." Jasper stood up. The moment I loss connection from him I became to panic. He leaned over and took my hand and I felt calm again.

"Would it be okay, if I ate up here?" I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I just wasn't sure if I was ready to see the family yet.

"No one is judging you, Bella." she said as she sat beside me on the bed. "We all know you've had a rough time lately, with losing your father and everything else. We're your family and are here to help you through it." She took my hand in hers, replacing Jasper's. "Now please... come join us. Everyone will be glad to see you. You can eat in the kitchen, and if you feel like it afterwards, maybe join us all in the living room." She pulled at my hand, and I let her lead me downstairs.

Emmett was in the living room playing console games, we exchanged hellos as I went past. I entered the kitchen where Carlisle sat a bowl of pasta down for me.

"It's good to see you, Bella." He smiled at me, stepping out the way so I could take my seat.

When I sat down I saw Alice sitting on the kitchen counter at the other side of the kitchen. She was looking at her nails, uninterested in anything that was going on around her. I guess she was still mad. Carlisle and Esme excused themselves as they headed into the living room, allowing me time to eat.

"Alice..." I said as I started to get up to go over to her.

"I know." She motioned for me to sit back down. "You're forgiven."

"Where...?"

"Rose, is out fixing the cars... Jasper went to our room... and Edward, has gone out." She smiled.

"Where...?"

"He went out to hunt or time alone... I'm not sure... he needed to be alone after your little sexcapade."

"When...?"

"He hasn't decided yet." I nodded as I started to eat my pasta. It would have been rude not to since Esme had gone to all the trouble to make it, but I really didn't feel like eating. _Pretences Bella._

Alice hopped off the counter and danced over to me. "Listen, Bella, I'm the one who should be sorry. We all understand that you're grieving for Charlie; it's only been four months, and if you say that's why you're upset then I should have listened. I shouldn't have pushed you, and I shouldn't have let Edward talk me into guarding you, even for a car. I should have just been there for you. I'm sorry." She offered me her arms for a hug, and I accepted.

I sighed with relief that she was so willing to forget about it.

If I could only make Edward do the same, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all. I would avoid Jacob... for how long I wasn't sure. I didn't know if I could ever be around him again. That would take some explaining. For now all I could do was avoid him, keep my moods in check and act normal; my secret would never be known.

* * *

Views/ Comments are always welcomed


	3. Chapter 3

UPDATED CHAPTER 2/05/2011

**Chapter Three**

**BPOV**

When I woke on Sunday morning, I was disappointed to see that Edward wasn't in my room waiting for me. I had hoped that everything may have been forgotten and that he had forgiven me. His absence didn't fill me with with enthusiasm. Maybe I was wrong, he could be downstairs... making me breakfast. I smiled at the thought.

I slid out of bed, my body still sore, as I made my way over to the wardrobe, looking for today's outfit. I decided on one of Edward's shirts and black leggings. If he wasn't around, at least I would have some part of him with me all day. I felt tearful at the thought of not seeing him at all today.

I hurried downstairs, I wanted to know one way or another if he was here. I found Alice and Jasper in the living-room snuggled up on the couch. I smiled at them as I raced through to the kitchen. Jasper gave me a pained look, but I tried to ignored it. I found the kitchen completely empty. Edward wasn't here, which meant he was avoiding me. He didn't want to be with me.

I slumped into the seat at the kitchen island. I was no longer in the mood to keep the pretence that I had a healthy apatite or that I was indeed happy.

"Bella, can I have a moment of your time?" I looked up to see Carlisle standing next to me. I hadn't heard him approach me. That was the part I hated about living with them, _they_ had all the advantages.

I straightened myself up. _Time to act normal. _"Sure?"

"I feel a little uncomfortable asking you this, but... did you take some pills from my office?"

My face must have fallen the moment he asked me. I _had_ taken strong painkillers from his office last night. I had been frightened of what my dreams might bring, so I had sneaked into his office, knowing where he kept his supplies. They were the first painkillers I found, and I knew they were strong. I knew that they would help knock me out. That was all I had thought about at the time.

Of course Carlisle would notice that they were gone. How could I be so stupid? He had a photographic memory. _You just can't help, but screw everything up. Bella! _I knew we both knew that no one else would have need for them in the house other than me. So how was I going to get out of this one?

"Carlisle, I'm sorry I should have asked. I... I just didn't want to bother you..."

He placed his hand on my shoulder to show me he wasn't mad. "Are you in pain, Bella? Are you hurt? Edward said you had fallen when you were in LaPush and that you were bleeding."

"I...I...had a headache and couldn't sleep." I stuttered, pulling away from him, taking a step back. The mere mention of LaPush flooding my head with images I tried to keep out. "I took them to help me sleep." I looked down at his feet avoiding contact with his eyes so he wouldn't see the fear in mine.

"Bella, you should have come to me. Strong painkillers are not to be taken lightly. I could have given you something to help you sleep."

"I'm sorry, Carlisle."

"What about your injuries?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"I wasn't... it was just my period."

"Bella, you know you can speak to me about anything, right?" he asked. His eyes had deepened with sadness. He both knew I was lying.

"Of course." I smiled at him before looking away. I felt the tension build between us. He wasn't about to let this one go.

"Edward told me it wasn't menstrual blood. I can still detect a hint of it now."

I started to gasp, panic. Why was he doing this? I laughed nervously trying to cover up how I felt. "You know me. I'm always bumping into things and falling over." I told him as I took another step back. Panic taking my body prisoner. "I probably just scratched myself and didn't notice. It's nothing to worry about."

"Can I take a look?" he asked, and in a split second he was down at my leg starting to lift the trouser leg up.

"No!" I screamed at him in horror, jumping back out of his reach. _Don't touch me. Please. I don't want to me touched._

He quickly moved back into his standing position as he stood silently eyeing me. He didn't speak for several minutes. The longer the silence went on the more uncomfortable I felt. I was all, but panting now. Like a trapped animal seeking escape.

"Bella?" he finally spoke. "Where have you put the rest of the pills?"

I gasped, that wasn't what I had expected him to say. Was he going to let this go? I stood looking at him confused, then I realized the unspoken words of his question. He thought that I was going to use them, the rest of the pills to... kill myself. I saw it in his eyes, he thought that I was unstable. He thought I was crazy. The whole time he had been testing me, assessing my reactions.

I started gasping for breath. I had to get out of here. My whole body was shaking with fear, fear that they knew what had happened. How could they know? Had I let it slip? What had I said that made him think I would kill myself? Or was it not what I had said.

"_Bella?"_ I could hardly hear his voice through the ripples of panic. _"Bella, it's okay. I'm not angry."_

_I have to get out of here. _I looked around the room for a means of escape. That's when my eyes landed on Jasper, who was now trying to slowly approach me. An expression of pain sketched on his face. As I saw the two of them trying to corner me I couldn't help but feel fear, fear that they were going to take me like Jacob had.

"No!" I screamed as I started backing away from them both; my eyes shifting between them, wondering who was going to strike first. I stood no chance against them, just like I had stood no chance against him.

_"Bella, it's okay. You're safe. I only want you to calm down."_ Carlisle's words slipped past me like fog. "_No one is going to hurt you."_

I ran to the door as fast as I could. It was silly to think that they would let me go or that I would be fast enough to beat them. I screamed continuously when I reached and Jasper grabbed hold of my arms. I struggled to break free from his stone grasp.

"_Jasper, can't you calm her?"_

"_I've been trying since your conversation started. She's out of control. Her emotions are all over the place Carlisle. She's terrified... of us."_

_*'*'*_

_"Jacob, please! You have to stop this! This isn't you!" I cried as pounded at his arms, making my own hands sting._

_He moaned as he shoved me back on the sand. His mouth was on my neck, his hands now down at my jeans working on the zipper. I grasped his hands in mine, trying to hold them still. "Jake! Please don't do this... You... You can't take this back." I whimpered. He took my hands and pinned them with one of his; above my head. I struggled, but it was useless._

_I closed my eyes as he pulled my jeans off. _

_He stopped for a moment. I opened my eyes praying that he realized what he was doing._

_He sat there looking at me, hunger in his eyes, like he was savoring_ _the meal before the bite._

_"Jake...Jake... GOD DAMN IT JAKE! LOOK AT ME!" I screamed at him. It was like he couldn't hear a word I said._

_I started screaming and kicking as I felt him pull my panties off. _

_"Jake, Nooooooo!"_

_He raised his hand, slapping my thigh full force. I shrieked and wriggled, trying to break free as he pulled down his jeans. _

_No, this wasn't happening! I wanted it to stop, please someone... make it stop!_

_*'*'*_

I screamed louder as I fought with Jasper to get free. Alice appeared in front on me, handing a needle over to Carlisle. _No, not Alice!_ Did she know what they planned to do to me? I thought she was my friend. How could she do this to me?

"Alice..." I sobbed to her, but she looked away.

Carlisle came over, sticking the needle into my arm. The room went fuzzy and then everything went dark.

**EPOV**

I sat in the meadow mulling over recent events. I was worried about Bella. She had been acting out of sorts since Friday night. Something had happened. She appeared to be scared. She was trying to hide it from me, but I could read her to well. Then there was the fact that she was bleeding. She had told me it was her period, but I knew it wasn't the smell of her menstrual cycle. She wouldn't let me close enough to catch where the scent was coming from, but I had a good idea.

I just couldn't make any sense out of it. Friday night she sneaked over to Jacob's. Which was not a surprise since she had done it several times now. Though why had she left her truck? She had said that it had broken down, but Jacob could have fixed it for her.

Why did he let her walk in the dark, along the road, alone? He could have driven her to the treaty line. She could have called me and asked me to meet her there. She didn't know I was there waiting for her. What if I hadn't been there?

There was also the fact that Jasper had told me that her moods were all over the place. That she was terrified, angry and sad...

I had checked my phone on Saturday when I was out hunting. She had left me a message, she was furious. I had expected to go back home to an argument. Alice had warned me that she had flipped out, that she had never seen her like that before.

When I arrived back at the house she had been sleeping. I had watched her sleeping for over an hour. When she woke, she didn't argue with me, instead she started forcing herself on me. She knew the risks, but she didn't seem to care. She pushed me to my limits, to my breaking point. I was so close to taking her, if Alice hadn't interrupted then... Alice said it was messy, Bella would have ended up as one of us.

My phone rang, I pulled it out my pocket, checking the screen to see Alice's name.

"Alice?"

"Edward, it's Bella, you better come home."

"I'll be five minutes," I said before hanging up. I raced towards the house, my mind full of fear, wondering what I would find.

When I arrived at the house, Carlisle was standing outside waiting for me. "What's happened?" I asked. He shared his memories with me of how he had discovered that several strips of Hydromorphone were missing from his office this morning. He had checked on Bella since it could only have been her who took them. Her breathing and her heartbeat were fine, so he had decided it would be best to wait until the morning to speak to her.

He was frightened of what she was planning to do with the pills, especially considering how upset she had been recently. When he asked her about the pills, she had lost it. Jasper had tried to calm her, but he was having no effect over her emotions. Carlisle had to sedate her.

She was now in our bed, stable, and in an induced sleep.

"I'm sorry Edward, I should have called you. I did plan to call you once I had spoken with Bella. I wanted to hear her side before I told you anything; I knew what your reaction would have been."

"Carlisle, you did what you thought was right," I told him placing my hand on his shoulder. "Do you think she meant to...?" I asked him unable to speak the words.

"I'm unsure." _The way in which she reacted and considering the number of pills she took - it does look like she was considering it. Though I am not sure what could have triggered it. If anything I would have expected this to happen just after her father's death, not now. Yesterday, after you left, she had been sitting with Jasper for a few hours and we coaxed her into coming downstairs. She came down and ate. She spent the rest of the evening with the family, acting perfectly normal, no signs that anything like this was lying under the surface_.

"Yesterday she had left me a voice-mail, she was mad. Alice said she had a breakdown. Later when I arrived back, she wasn't angry with me at all. She didn't even bring it up. She just wanted... me. She wouldn't take no for an answer, she was pushed me to my limits."

"Do you have any ideas? What could have brought this on?" Carlisle asked.

My mind began to wonder. Jacob had something to do with this. I was sure of it. What had he done now? It was more than their usual fall out, but I never assumed that he would physically hurt her. Could I be wrong?

"Edward?" Carlisle asked, bringing my from my thoughts.

"Sorry, Carlisle... I think this has something to do with Jacob, though I'm not sure why she wouldn't just speak about it. Whatever he's done or said to her..." I let out a growl.

Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder. "Son, you don't know that this has anything to do with him. Until you do you can't go around making accusations. I suggest you wait until Bella comes around, speak with her when she is stable, see if you can get any answers."

I sighed. I knew he was right. He always was, but I also knew in my gut that this had something to do with Jacob. I was going to find out, one way or another.

"I will speak to Bella first," I told Carlisle before I entered the house, making my way to her bedside. I waited for my love to wake.

* * *

Reviews/Comments/Views all welcomed!


	4. Chapter 4

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter Four**

**BPOV**

My eyelids were heavy. I fought for several minutes trying to force them open. I looked around as my eyes struggled to gain their focus, trying to get a bearing on where I was... I was in our bed, in our room. _I don't remember coming to bed_. I sat up, my head stung and the room spun. I let out a moan. If I didn't know any better I would have said I had been drinking last night.

Then the memories of yesterday came flooding back to me, my breakdown. I had lost control when Carlisle mentioned the pills - the look on his face; he thought I was considering taking my life. _You've made a right mess of things_.

I wasn't sure how things were going to play out now. Was I going to have someone hovering over me all the time - like a suicide watch? I shuddered at the thought. Life was hard enough right now without the added pressure of never having to let my guard down, never having time alone to crumble.

I looked up as I realized that I was being watched. Edward was over at the window. Had he been there all this time? I sat afraid to speak or move. I didn't know if he was mad at me, and I wasn't sure what his family had told him.

"Edward?" I said after several minutes of silence, when I realised he wasn't about to make the first move. He never spoke; his eyes remained fixed on me. I pulled off the covers and slid my legs off the bed. Edward was next to me in a second, sliding my legs back in the bed and pulling the covers up. I looked at him, confused.

"It's best we get Carlisle to look you over before you get up and about."

"Really, Edward, you worry too much, " I said, sitting back up, swinging my legs out. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I made a fool out of myself..." I paused, searching for the strength to say what I wanted to say next. "Edward, you have to believe when I say that I never, I would never... try to take my own life." I searched his eyes for recognition.

"If you say that wasn't your intention, then I believe you."

I didn't believe him, but I waited for him to continue.

"We're all concerned about you, Bella. You haven't been yourself lately." He reached over and took my hands in his. "Something is troubling you... Why aren't you willing to share your problems with me?"

An awkward silence filled the room as he waited for my response, but I couldn't respond. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked down at our joined hands. I was hurting Edward, but it was a hurt I would need to put him through to protect him from the truth.

"It hurts me that you won't confide in me."

My chest started to heave with sobs, guilt pouring over me. If only he understood why I was doing this to him.

"I will always be here for you, Bella; through the good and the bad..." He leaned down and kissed my hand. "I just wish you would let me in. Stop pushing me away." He sighed in frustration. "I love you, always," he said as he pulled his hand away from his mine, putting it under my chin, making me face him. "Let me help you."

My whole body stung with the pain. He was so loving and caring - he didn't deserve this. I had to fight with myself, fight to keep me from spilling everything to him there and then. I'm doing this with his best interest in mind.

"Edward, I love you... more than anything." I pulled my head away from his grasp and looked down at our hands. "Please believe me when I say that there isn't anything I'm keeping from you. I promise. I've just been thinking about Charlie and your family... How you won't let me become one of you."

He lifted my chin again, meeting my eyes. "Isabella Swan, you are part of this family."

"You know that's not what I mean. You won't change me, Edward!"

"Bella, we have been through this. I won't take your soul from you and I make you a monster like me."

"Don't you think that I should have a choice in what happens to me?"

He didn't answer.

"I won't grow into an old woman, Edward, while you stay forever young!" I jumped off the bed and walked away from him. I was annoyed. "Would you rather I died than be with you?"

The silence in the room fueled my anger.

"Would you still love me when I'm old?"

"Bella, you know the answer to that!" he said, coming to my side. There was pain in his eyes as he looked me, taking my hands in his, gripping onto them hard.

"Do I, Edward?" I snapped, pulling my hands from him yet again. "You say that to me, but I can't see it."

"Do you really value my love for you so little?"

"You will still look the same as the day we met, Edward. Do you know how much that will hurt me?"

A knock at the door stopped me from continuing. Carlisle entered the room. He acted as if he hadn't heard us arguing. "I've come to check how you are feeling." He smiled at me, but I caught him glancing at Edward. I wasn't sure if they were having one of their conversations or maybe, I was just being paranoid.

"I'm fine, thank you."

No one spoke for several minutes. I decided to take the opportunity to apologize to Carlisle. "I am really sorry about yesterday. I'm not sure what came over me."

"It's okay, Bella, don't worry about it."

I walked over to the drawer where I had placed the pills that I had taken. I gasped as I pulled the drawer open to find it was empty; someone had already taken them.

"I went looking for them when I arrived home. I gave them back to Carlisle," Edward said, watching my reaction.

"That's okay," I said, forcing myself to smile at him. Though it wasn't okay. The fact that he went looking for them to remove them meant that he thought I was suicidal. I went over to the bed and sat down, dwelling on my thoughts.

"If you would like to talk to me about anything, I am always willing to listen," Carlisle said.

"Thank you, Carlisle... I will take you up on that offer when needed." He nodded before turning to look at Edward. He paused and then left.

When Carlisle left the room I didn't speak another word to Edward. I picked some clothes from the wardrobe, not caring what I had selected, and went for a shower. I spent ages in the shower, not trying to get myself clean like I had before, but in the hope that Edward would leave the room and I wouldn't have to face him when I got out.

It wasn't fair to be taking my problems out on Edward, but some part of me blamed him for leaving me defenseless. I didn't want to feel this way.

I didn't see Edward when I left the shower and went back into our room. I didn't see him for the rest of the day. It had been like he had read my mind. I hadn't even bothered to ask anyone where he had gone. I was just grateful he wasn't around.

I spent my day in the living room watching Emmett and Jasper argue over computer games. Alice was painting my nails now that she had finished doing my hair.

It was light and fun, and it made me forget all my troubles. I was in no hurry to leave their side and enter back into the real world; sadly the real world didn't want to leave me alone.

Edward appeared in front of me with my phone in his hand. "Jacob sent you a text," he said as he handed me the phone.

I hesitantly took the phone from him. Had he read it? What was Jacob doing sending me one in the first place? I was frightened to look. I firstly didn't want to know anything Jacob had to say to me. Secondly, I knew that being in a room with them I would have no privacy.

There was also the fact that the text could say something that would make me lose control. I didn't want to do that in front of them. That would let them connect my odd behavior to Jacob.

I sat the phone down next to me, the easy solution being I would read it later.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, I'll read them in a bit."

"Your nails are dry enough," Alice said as she continued to paint my toenails. Thanks for that, Alice. I sighed and looked down at my hands, wishing I could use them as an excuse.

I looked up, realizing that all eyes were now on me. They were suspicious. Normally I would have read my text from Jacob by now and be arguing with Edward to let me go see him.

I sighed as I lifted the phone. There were three messages from Jacob.

The first text read :

**Bella? Why haven't you answered my texts? Is something wrong? Answer me or I'm coming over.**

_That must have been the most recent._

The second text read:

**Hey, why haven't you called yet? You sleeping, lazy head?**

_Was he mad? Why was he texting me as if nothing had happened?_

The third text read:

**Hey Bella, was wondering why you left your truck? Do you want to come over and get it? We could hang out for a few hours, if you can sneak away.**

I sat frozen. _What was he playing at?_ He was acting as if nothing had happened. Then I realized what he had said; "Answer me or I'm coming over." I couldn't let him.

I sure as hell didn't want to see him, but if Edward saw him... if he heard his thoughts... I shuddered. No, I couldn't let this happen.

I looked to see when the last text was sent - -5:57pm. Thirty minutes ago. He could be on his way over.

"Something wrong?" Edward asked, his voice full of concern.

I looked up to see him watching me. They all were. Had he read the message? Was I just being paranoid? He was testing me. He had read them before me. _No, Bella, stop! You're losing it!_

"My truck is fixed. I'm going to get it," I finally said after a few minutes.

I looked down to see that Alice had finished with my nails and was now sitting on the floor watching me. Not caring if my nails were still wet, I started pulling my socks on and slipped into my shoes.

"No!" he said, glaring at me as I stood up.

I knew that I wasn't going to get away easily.

"No, Edward! You don't get to make that decision for me! You don't get to make my decisions for me! I can make them for myself. You don't own me, Edward Cullen." I started walking for the door, though my speed was slower than his.

"I won't let you go, Bella. I don't want you to go..." he said as he appeared between me and the door.

"Well, I guess you will have to stop me then, but at what cost to you?" I straightened myself up, glaring at him. I hated when he took it upon himself to make my decisions for me.

He stood silently, as if he was pondering over my words, while I stood there glaring at him.

He eventually stepped aside, letting me past. I had guessed he didn't want to learn the meaning behind my words, but I glanced up to see Carlisle standing at the bottom of the stairs. It was more likely that Carlisle had said something.

"How are you planning to get to La Push?" he shouted after me as I reached the front door.

"My legs..." I grunted as I walked out and closed the door.

"Bella, don't be so ridiculous!" he said as he appeared at my side. "I will drive you!"

"Fine. You can drop me off at the treaty line and then leave."

He never answered me, which gave me the idea he wasn't going to comply. I didn't have time to worry about it though. It was taking all my strength to hold myself together now that I knew I was going to La Push. The place where it had happened, and worse than that, he was going to be there.

I pulled out my phone and sent Jacob a text.

**On my way over, don't you dare come here!**

Edward drove me to the treaty line in silence. We were both mad at one another and neither of us was willing to break the silence first. He didn't comment when Jacob wasn't there to pick me up. Though from the look on his face, I know it didn't go unnoticed.

I pretended to wait for Jacob as I watched him drive away. When he was out of sight I started my long walk.

I held my breath every time I turned a corner, hoping that Jacob wasn't there waiting for me. I was glad when I had made it all the way into La Push without seeing him. As I edged closer to his house, my heart started to race; my body shook. I felt like I was going to throw up.

_It's still daylight_, I told myself, _nothing is going to happen_.

I hoped that Billy was in so I didn't need to be in his company alone.

I would go to the house, say that I was here to collect the truck, say I had to get going and make a run for it. I wouldn't need to face him long. I could handle that, _surely?_

I could have cried out full of panic when I arrived at the house. I was thankful that Billy's truck was parked outside. I wasn't sure if I would have actually gone through with it if he wasn't there.

I took a deep breath as I found the courage to walk up to the door, telling myself that it would be okay. Billy was there... everything was going to be fine. Before I got the chance to knock on the door, Jacob had swung it open, his big sunny smile greeting me. If I hadn't known any better I would have said it was just a normal day, just like any other visit. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Hey Bella!" he greeted me. I looked past him into the house. I could see into the living room. Billy was sitting watching a game with the rest of Jake's 'new friends'. I felt comfort being able to see Billy.

My eyes tried to avoid landing on Jacob as I tried to force some words to come out, but nothing came.

"Hey Bella! Come in, come in!" Billy shouted, motioning for me to come forward.

"Actually, I was just... I'm kind of in a hurry. I need my truck for school tomorrow," I said as I pointed to my truck like he didn't know which one was mine.

"Ah, if you're sure you can't stay for awhile?" Billy said as sadness filled his face. "We have chips and dip." He laughed at his last weak attempt to encourage me to stay.

"Sorry, Billy," I said before turning and walking to my car as fast as I could but still slow enough that it would still to be classified as walking.

"Hey, wait up!" I cringed, in recognition of Jacob's voice. I shuddered to a stop in front of the truck, my hand yearning to reach out for the handle and just make a getaway.

"What's the mad hurry?" he asked as he reached my side, leaning against the truck. His eyes firmly fixed on me.

"I... Ah... I..." I couldn't think of anything to say. I was blown away by the fact that he was speaking and acting as if nothing had happened, like I had made it all up in my sick and twisted mind.

I felt my stomach knot as I slowly slid my eyes to him. He looked so warm and loving, just like the Jacob I had always known. I began to wonder if this was all in my head; was I going crazy?

"Jake... please. I have to go," I said as I fought back the lump in my throat.

I reached for the handle and pulled the door open. His hand landed on mine. I automatically jerked away. "Don't touch me." I scowled.

I could feel the tears build in my eyes as my body began to shake. He touched me... He touched me. I wanted to go home. I didn't want to be here any longer. Why had I come?

"Hey, don't be like that, Bells!" he said as he ran his hand along my cheek, making me shudder and whimper.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick him in the groin and run the hell out of there and never come back, but I was stuck. I was glued to the ground, too frightened to move.

"Please don't," I whispered to him as tears began to fall down my cheeks.

He looked at me in annoyance as he clenched his fist.

"No, Bella, don't turn this on me!" he shouted. "You were the one, Bella, that wouldn't let go. You wanted me around. I asked you to stay away. _I warned you!_ So don't you dare try to turn this on me."

I looked at him, frightened to look away. His full body was shaking. I had never seen him so angry. I didn't know what to do.

Sam came running out of the house; the rest of the gang stood in the doorway. There was no sign of Billy.

Sam put his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "You need to calm down." Jacob shook his head, clenching his fists as if his anger was increasing. "Bella, I think you better go now."

I nodded to him. I walked around the truck, heading to the other side.

"Jacob, no! Leave her." I turned to see Jacob behind me, his chest heaving; sweat was dripping off his temple. He grabbed my arm. I started to whimper.

Sam grabbed Jacob's hand, forcing him to let me go. He shoved him against a nearby tree. I walked backwards, trying to distance myself from them, but too scared to take my eyes from Jacob. My back finally hit the side of the garage.

I watched, frozen in fear. Jacob was pushing at Sam, trying to get past him to me. They were shouting at one another, but I was in too much of a daze to make it out.

I noticed that the rest of the group was standing at the door watching, laughing... like it was some kind of game. Billy was still nowhere to be seen. What was happening? Why weren't they trying to stop him? Why wasn't Billy trying to help?

Sam shoved Jacob to the ground. The next thing I knew, Jacob's body started to convulse, his clothes ripping from his body. Red, fluffy hair grew all over his massive form as it jolted and shifted shape.

I shook my head as if trying to shake away the image before me, but it remained. I didn't understand what I was seeing. What had just happened? His body, it twisted and jolted in a matter of seconds transforming him. One minute he was standing there, looking just like he did any other day, and now he was a… wolf.

I was going crazy. There was no other explanation. Jacob Black had not just turned into a wolf! Though the imagine in front of me said otherwise.

_What did that make him?_ My mind searched through horror movies and old tales trying to think of an explanation...a werewolf? I would have known if my best friend had been a werewolf, surely? Did that mean that everything from our nightmares was real?

I watched as Sam changed just as quickly as Jacob, his body growing jet black fur. He tackled Jacob before he had any chance of coming in my direction. They rolled around, tearing lumps out of each other; growls filled the whole of La Push. _How could they keep something like this a secret?_

I felt a tug on my arm; Quil was standing there. "I think you better leave while you have the chance."

I didn't argue with him. I nodded and ran to my truck as fast as I could. I didn't stop to see if Jacob had noticed, too frightened that he had saw me leave and was now after me. I started the truck and hit my foot to the floor, holding my breath until I made it all the way out of La Push. Until I was as far away from Jacob Black as possible.

* * *

Your comments are most welcome, good or bad x


	5. Chapter 5

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter Five**

**BPOV**

It was Monday morning, a school day. I didn't want to face school today, but I had to continue with my pretence. I sighed as I slid out of bed and went to select my clothes for the day. I hadn't even noticed that Edward wasn't in my room, not until I was full dressed anyway. I pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail and headed out the bedroom door. A strange sensation came over me as I slowly walked along the corridor and down the stairs. The house was in complete silence. Where was everyone?

I could finally hear undistinguishable murmurs as I reached the bottom of the stairs. I looked around to find all my family gathered in the dining room - a room they never used.

"Bella!" Edward jumped as he heard my steps approach. He walked over from where he had been standing and spun me around, walking me towards the kitchen before I had the chance to wish anyone else 'good morning'.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you get up," he said as we entered the kitchen.

I looked at him puzzled. What could possibly have kept them so occupied that they never heard me move around the house?

"Let me cook you breakfast," he said as he sat me down at the kitchen island. He went to work straight away, whisking up some eggs and toast.

"So, what were you talking about?" I asked him after several minutes of watching him cook. I knew there was something wrong. He had been avoiding looking in my direction.

"Oh, nothing really; just plans for the future. Where we should move next, once we graduate," he said, still not looking at me.

"So, what was decided?" I asked, a little annoyed. If that was really what was going on then, I would have thought my family would have included me in such conversations. Did I mean so little to them?

"Oh, Alice and Jasper Rose and Emmett, would like a year or so to spend as couples before we start the whole school process again. Carlisle and Esme would like to remain here until we are ready to start over."

"And what about us?"

"Well, that all depends on what you would like to do, love." he said, smiling as he placed my breakfast in front of me. I hated that he was better at lying than me.

When it was time for school, Alice and I got into the car. Edward was already waiting. He had avoided me most of the morning after he had made me breakfast. No one else had been in a hurry to spend time in my company either.

I sat in the back seat, annoyed with them all, not offering conversation when Alice tried to prompt me into one. Even Edward had tried, but I refused to speak to him.

On days like these I wished that I was like the others, that I had graduated and had no need to attend school. I could spend the days as I pleased. Today I would have spent it locked up in my room, alone.

My thoughts drifted back to what Edward had said this morning '_before we start the whole school process again'._ Did his plans include me coming along as a human? Clearly I would stand out from the rest of my family when we joined a new school. I saw red. His refusal to change me infuriated me. I glared at him as he drove, and then turned back to look out the window.

I had to speak to Carlisle about it. He would be more understanding. I didn't want to leave it much longer, and in a way I held it against Edward that he wouldn't do it now. The same thought kept me running through my head; he was the one making me defenceless. I didn't want to think it, but no matter what I did it was there. I understood the family's point of view, it wouldn't look well on them for me to suddenly drop out of school, but shouldn't my safety come first?

When we arrived at school, I got out of the car as soon as Edward pulled up, ensuring he didn't have enough time to come and open the door for me. I marched into school without them either of them, heading towards my first class, not caring how early I was.

The morning went by quickly and by lunchtime my anger had dissipated. We all sat in the cafeteria, Edward with his arm around me, like he usually did. Alice was talking enough for all three of us. It was just like any other day. I was passing as being normal.

My next class was English, which I had alone. I was thankful for the space and hoped it would give me some time to think some things over without Edward or Alice's prying eyes.

We were writing an essay on a piece of literature, Persuasion by Jane Austen. I had already read the book several times which meant the essay would be easy to write. The class was silent as everyone wrote their essay. The teacher, Mr Williams, had stepped out. Which gave me time to slip into a daze; I stared out of the window. It took all of my focus not to think of that night or of _him_.

It was half way through the lesson when Mr Williams came back into the class. "Bella, it seems there's been a family emergency. I have to send you home."

I froze, terrified that something had happened to my family. I snapped myself out of it, I felt everyone's eyes on me. I gathered my things into my bag and rushed out the classroom, headed down the corridor towards the exit, which lead to the car park.

I was confused as to why Edward or Alice hadn't come for me themselves. Maybe there wasn't time? Had something serious happened ? I shivered at the thought that I might lose someone else. I couldn't handle losing another member of my family.

My shaking hand pushed the door open and I stepped out into the daylight, squinting my eyes as the light hit them. I could barely see where I was going, the sun was so blinding. When I reached the Volvo I was confused to find that no one was there to greet me. Maybe Edward had left the keys? No, the car was locked.

I frowned. I didn't understand what was going on. I decided to go back inside and check Edward and Alice's classes. I started to walk back inside when I saw _him, _standing at the far end of the parking lot, under the shade of the trees. He had a grin on his face as he watched me.

I felt compelled to walk towards him. I don't know why. I tried to stop myself; to make myself turn the other way, but it was like he held some kind of power over me.

"What are you doing here?" I was angry that he would be so stupid, so reckless to show up here. "Are you crazy? Have you totally lost it?" I growled at him. If Edward read his mind, if he found out, it would start a war. Didn't he realize this?

He laughed as he reached out to rub my arm. I flinched away. How was this at all funny? Did he think he had the right to touch me?

"Bella, I thought you might fancy skipping class, hanging out?" I stared at him, looking for signs of madness. There was no other explanation for the way he was acting. "So what do you say?" he asked as he patted the bike. "Fancy a ride?"

"No, I can't," I said taking a step backwards. I felt how dangerous this situation could become. He hadn't responded well to my rejection yesterday. I looked around, seeking some way out of this mess, but I was in the parking lot alone with him. No one would see us, no one would hear me scream.

"I have to go..." I mumbled as I turned and headed to the school doors as fast as I could. I knew it was a futile effort, but I had to make some attempt. I couldn't just stand there and let him take me away.

I was half way towards the school when I felt his hand on my arm. He spun me around, pulling my body tight against him. I shoved to get him off, but like before he was too strong for my weak attempts.

"Jake, let me go!" I knew I should have been more concerned with what he had planned to do with me, but all I could think of was Edward coming out, finding us. He would tear Jacob to bits. Everyone would know Edward's secret and I couldn't let that happen. "You have to get off me!"

"Bella, calm down," he barked at me, annoyed. I immediately obeyed him, to frightened not too.

He ran his hand through my hair as he admired my face, his eyes trailing down to my neck and stopping at my breasts. I heard his breathing getting heavier; he was almost panting. I could feel his erection growing against me.

_No! Not this again! _I tried to push him away, the nightmare of Friday night still fresh in my mind. It was daylight, we were in a parking lot. Surely he wouldn't? Anyone could see us at any moment. I had told myself countless times that I was safe in the daylight, he would never try to attack me in the daylight...

"JAKE!" I sobbed as I wriggled with him, trying to get free. I didn't want to feel his touch, his arousal. I didn't want to hear his breathing. I didn't want to know what was coming next.

I kicked his ankle in a weak attempt to free myself; screams followed as pain shoot up my foot. It had been was like kicking a rock. I wriggled in his grasp, He laughed at my weak gesture.

"Easy, Bella," he said, pulling back to look down at my face, his eyes light up with pure lust. "All I want is for you to come with me."

"No!" I sobbed. I didn't want to go with him. I didn't want to be near him. Why was he doing this? Why wouldn't he leave me alone? Why didn't anyone come to save me?

"I don't think you're listening to me, Bella. _I want you to come with me!_ _I'm not asking you_." He started pulling me towards his bike, my feet dragging along the ground. "If you don't come with me... well, I guess I might be forced to go in there and speak to Edward. Tell him what we've been doing behind his back." He smirked like he had it all planned out. He was willing to do whatever it took.

"No... you wouldn't! I... didn't..." I shook my head in disbelief. Would Edward believe him?

I fell down onto my knees, tears flooding my eyes."I never..." I whimpered. _Please, Edward, please believe that I would never do that to you._

"Unhand her, dog!" Someone growled from the other side of the car park. I looked to see Alice standing there. She discreetly slipped her phone back into her pocket, though she had made a point of showing me that she had did it. Was she trying to tell me something?

She rushed over to us, not bothering to keep up human pretences. "I said unhand her." She placed her hand on his, the one that was restraining me. She bared her teeth.

I was surprised when he let go of my arm, but it was short lived when I heard his laughter. He was toying with her.

Alice took the opportunity, she pulled me to my feet and put some distance between us and Jacob. She stood in front of me protectively, crouched and ready for Jacob to make a move.

"This has nothing to do with you, Pixie," Jacob grunted. "Run along."

"We're leaving," Alice told him, ignoring his previous comment.

"No!" He launched himself at us, aiming for me. Alice quickly moved us out of reach behind him.

I watched as Jacob grabbed at air. Realising that we had gone he searched the parking lot for us, spinning round, locating us moments later.

He let out a deep growl. "This has nothing to do with you, but if I need to hurt you to get to her, _I will._ This is your last chance. _Leave now!_" He glared at Alice.

"No!" I sobbed. "Please just go, Alice! I don't want you to get hurt." I tried to shove her away. I didn't want her to get hurt because of me. I hadn't seen Alice fight; I didn't know if she would last against Jacob. Did she realise what he was?

"The only person leaving is Jacob." My head spun round to the familiar voice. Emmett was standing next to Jacob, his hand gripping Jacob's shoulder. Jasper appeared behind them seconds later.

I stood watching, wondering how this was going to play out, scared that the whole school was about to find out our secrets. I didn't know how much longer we had until the parking lot would be filling up with students all eager to go home. I knew we had to leave now.

Jacob stood staring at Emmett's hand on his shoulder, like he was weighing up his chances. Emmett stood with a smug grin, daring him to make a move.

I tried to step out from behind Alice. I had to do something to stop this. She grabbed hold of my arm, holding me in place, shaking her head to tell me no.

"Jacob, leave. You don't want to break the treaty," I cried to him. I prayed to reach any human part of him that was left. "Any minute now this car park is going to start filling up with students, you don't want to cause a scene! Imagine what that will do to Forks. _To your people_!"

He didn't answer, he just continued to stare at Emmett, though Emmett at least seemed to see sense. "You heard her dog," he said as he shoved Jacob towards his bike, making him stumble and bump into a nearby car, leaving a dent in the door.

Jacob glared at Emmett as he continued towards his bike. He jumped on and kicked it to life, giving one last growl as he looked over at us. Then he sped off down the road, out of our sight.

"We have five minutes then the car park will be full of people," Alice said as she released her hold on me, going over to Jasper, who took her in his arms.

"You okay, sis?" Emmett asked putting out his hand to touch my arm. I jerked away; he looked offended.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm just a little jumpy," I mumbled, looking down at the ground, ashamed that I had acted that way toward Emmett.

"We can't tell Edward here," Alice announced. "Both of you take Bella to the house. Call Carlisle and have him meet you. I will handle Edward." She kissed Jasper's cheek goodbye. Then she came over and squeezed my hand. "It'll be okay, Bella."

I watched as she walked over the Volvo to wait.

Emmett pulled me up onto his back. I was thankful that I didn't flinch this time. The three of us vanished into the trees. I closed my eyes the whole way home, trying to stop myself from throwing up. I felt like a train wreck. My whole body was shaking and the tears were streaming down my face.

After a few minutes of running, I started to feel calm. I knew it must have been Jasper's work. I was glad he was helping me gain control.

When we arrived at the house Emmett lifted me down and pulled me into his bear-like embrace. I at first went to pull away, but Jasper sent me reassurance and I let myself rest in Emmett's arms. I felt at peace, I felt safe.

Then I remembered that they planned to tell Edward.


	6. Chapter 6

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter Six**

**BPOV**

I sat on the couch panicking over how Edward was going to react. Emmett had given up trying to make me laugh to take my mind off things over five minutes ago. Rosalie was sitting at his side, both of them were on the couch opposite me. Jasper was standing over by the window watching me. I wasn't sure where Esme had went.

Any moment now Edward was going to walk through the door, wondering what was going on. I had to come up with some sort of explanation, one that didn't result in him killing Jacob. I had no idea what I could say to control this situation. I don't think there was anything that could make this seem like a small misunderstanding.

I felt a wave of calm hit me. I turned to look at Jasper. "Don't do that!" I screamed, "There is nothing calm about this situation." He put his hands up in defence and I felt the calm leave.

Emmett was sitting laughing in the opposite couch. I glared at him. How could he find anything funny in a moment like this? I had already told him that his sense was humour was inappropriate. He would probably relish a chance to fight. I saw Rosalie punch him in the ribs, she obviously didn't think it was appropriate either.

The door opened, my heart stopped. It was just Carlisle. He looked around the room, his face full of concern. "What's happened?"

Esme heard his voice and came through from the kitchen, taking him in an embrace. She whispered something in his ear and he looked to me. I knew then that she was telling him what had happened. Jasper had kindly been the one to fill her in when we got home.

Carlisle came over, taking the seat beside me. "Are you okay Bella?" I nodded as looked away from him. I felt tears start whelm in my eyes. I wasn't okay. I was far from okay. _He_ had been so close to doing it again. I felt my hands began to shake again and the tears started to stream from my eyes. _No! Don't let them see you like this._

"Would you like me to get you anything?"

I shook my head, unable to find my voice.

"He's here." Jasper said for my benefit, like it would somehow prepare me.

I held my breath as I looked towards the door. I felt Carlisle take my hand, then Edward came in with Alice behind him. His face was full of worry; not anger. Alice hadn't told him anything. He came straight over to me, taking my hand in his, looking deep into my eyes.

"Bella are you okay?" I nodded my head and looked away from him as the tears took over. Carlisle rubbed my back in a weak attempted to soothe me.

Edward stood up and looked around the room."Okay, someone tell me, what's going on?"

Silence.

"Would you all stop counting dust particles and reciting books. Someone tell me what the hell is going on here!" He yelled as he looked over us all, his eyes finally stopping on me. "Bella?" He pleaded.

_Jacob pulled out of me with a satisfied look on his face. I rolled over onto my side sobbing, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together. My heart was aching. He had torn at my soul. He had took my best friend from me and replaced him with a beast. _

_He leaned over and placed a kiss on my head. I flinched. Which only angered him. He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. He glared into my eyes. I could no longer see my best friend, his eyes were that of a an animal. _

_I waited for him to speak, but he didn't. He shoved my face away, then started pulling on his clothes. _

_I lay looking out at the ocean, frighten to move. I tried to make my mind go somewhere, anywhere other than here. I wanted to move, but I was too scared. _

_I didn't know how Jacob would react. I didn't know was going on in his mind. I didn't know if he had finished with me. I shuddered at the thought, praying that he was finished. Praying_ _that this was one moment of madness and it would never happen again. _

_If Edward found out, it would destroy everything. It would destroy lives... it would destroy us._

I shook the memories out of my head, bring myself back to the here and now. Edward was growing impatient. I took a deep breath.

"If I tell you... you have to make a promise." He raised his eyebrow at me. "Promise me you won't do anything rash. That you won't let your temper get the better of you." He looked at me confused. Emmett coughed and then they exchanged looks.

"Promise me, Edward!" I commanded, trying to steal his attention back from Emmett.

Edward turned back towards me and sighed. "Bella, I would never do anything to hurt you, but I would do everything in my power to keep you safe. I can't make that promise, not when I don't know what it is you have to tell me. I'm sorry." Carlisle moved out of the way to let him sit beside me. He took my hands in his, his eyes pleading with me. "Please, tell me, Bella. Let me help you."

I pulled away from him. I got up and walked over to the window, standing there looking out, trying to distract myself. I watched the wind blow through the trees. I watched as some leaves that were blown up into the air, before they began to swirl and fall towards the ground.

"Bella?" Edward's voice brought me back from my daze.

I glanced over at him before looking back to the window. I was frightened of how he was going to react. What he was going to say, but most of all I was frightened of what I was going to tell him and how.

I felt a wave of calm come over my body. I had wanted to snap at Jasper for interfering with my emotions again, but I was glad he had done it. It was the boost I had needed to begin.

"Today, in English... Mr Williams came into class to say that there had been a call, that I was to go home at once. There had been a family emergency. I was scared. I had thought it was Charlie all over again. I never thought twice about the fact that you or Alice weren't outside the class waiting on me."

I started to draw in the glass with my finger, like a small child.

"I was in too much of a hurry to get to the car. I had to find out what was happening. I didn't realise that things weren't right until I got there and you weren't around. I thought maybe you had left the keys for me to drive home, but there was no keys and the car was locked."

I paused for a moment as I searched for the strength to continue. I wanted Edward, I needed him, but I was so terrified of how he would react. I didn't want to see him lose it.

Courage flushed over me.

"I started to head back. I was going to look inside for you, try and find out what was happening. That's when I saw him..." I gasped for air as the image of him standing there flooded my mind.

"Saw who, Bella?" Edward asked still as confused as ever.

I opened my mouth to say his name, but I couldn't. It terrified me.

"Jacob." I looked up to see who had spoke the name, it was Jasper.

A growl erupted from Edward's chest.

Alice came over to my side, placing her arms on my shoulders. "It's okay Bella. Tell him what happened."

Courage came at me like waves.

"He wanted me to go over to La Push, skip the rest of class. I told him I couldn't..." I glanced at Edward's reflection through the window. I could see the anger in his eyes. He was sitting clenching his fists. I looked away.

"He got a mad when I wouldn't leave with him."

My mind wondered back. I could see him standing there, how angry he was. I didn't think I was going to get away. I thought no one was going to save me.

"What did he do, Bella?" Edward asked trying to control the sound of anger in his voice.

I didn't answer. All I could do was picture _him_ holding me tight, his excitement at my presence.

I fought tears back as I gazed out the window, wrapping my arms around myself. I felt like I was falling to pieces.

"Bella, tell me, please!" Edward begged me.

I glanced over at Edward to see that Carlisle was now seated beside him, his hand firmly on Edward's shoulder. Edward's face was full of pain. If he could have shed tears I'm sure he would have.

Alice squeezed my shoulders to let me know that she was still there with me. I leaned into her, my head on her shoulder. I was trembling.

"I made an excuse to get out of class..." Alice spoke. She smiled at me in reassurance, She was trying to help.

"When I was sitting in class, visions of Bella's future disappeared. I went to look for her to make sure she was okay. When I found out she wasn't in class I asked her teacher where she had gone. He told me that she had already left to attend the emergency. I knew something was wrong."

She paused as she looked down on me, checking if I was okay, if was safe to continue.

"I called Jasper to tell him something was wrong. That he had to get here quick. While I went to search the grounds. I found Bella in the car park with the _dog_. He was pulling at her, hurting her."

Edward's growls grew louder. I could only guess he was seeing the fully event through Alice's mind.

"He was trying to force her to leave with him. She was so terrified." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry Bella. I know you don't want me to tell this part."

I looked at her terrified. What did she mean I don't want her to tell this part. My mind raced as I tried to understand. Did she mean the way he had himself pressed against me? Or... had she heard him imply I had been cheating on Edward? She didn't believe it, no she couldn't!

"No, Alice, please!" I whimpered.

"She wouldn't go with him and he was getting angry with her." She continued. "He threatened her that if she didn't come then he was going to tell you what they had done."

I crumbled to the floor at the sound of Alice's words, my chest was heaving as I gasped for air. I couldn't believe that Alice had thought that I would cheat on Edward.

Alice bent down and wrapped her arms around me. I tried to shove her away. She had done this! She was supposed to be my friend.

"Bella, we know you didn't cheat on Edward. Calm down, please." She whispered in my ear as she stroked my hair.

"Bella, love, I don't believe that you would ever cheat on me, please calm down." I looked up to see Edward. Did he really mean it? "Yes, I mean every word of that." I looked at him confused, it had been like he had read my mind. I let it slip as I accepted Jasper's wave of calm, regaining control.

"Bella?" Alice almost whispered. "We know there is something going on, that something happened, please tell us." She looked between Edward and me. "He has to know Bella, this could destroy you both if you don't."

Destroy us? I looked over at Edward, he was doing his best to control the rage that was boiling inside him, but he was at the point of almost losing control. Carlisle still remained at his side, his hand firmly on his shoulder. Esme was now on his right side, she had his hand in hers, rubbing it in soothing motions.

"I'm here to help you." Alice spoke, turning my attention back to her.

I felt waves of emotions hit me, calm, courage and strength.

"What happened on Friday night, Bella?"

I shook my head as my chest heaved with sobs at the mention of Friday. _No, I cant speak of that_.

"Okay, Sunday night. Let's begin with Sunday."

I looked around the room, Carlisle and Esme were still sat with Edward placed between them. Each of their faces reflecting the same expression of pain. Jasper was in the same spot, at the opposite side of the room, leaning against the window. Emmett and Rosalie were on the second couch. She sat on Emmett's knee with her body wedged into his arms, like my story caused her more pain than anyone else.

"I... I went over to get my truck. I had planned getting it and leaving straight away... but Jacob didn't want to let me go. He came after me when I tried to leave. He was angry. I was stupid... I made him angry, it was my fault..."

Edward snarled at my words.

"Jacob began to shake uncontrollably with anger, Sam came running out of the house. He told me to leave, but Jake... he wouldn't let me go." My mind was full of images of Jacob transforming into a wolf. "He got so angry, his shaking got worse. He began convulsing... next thing I knew he was changing into a... wolf."

My news didn't seem to shock them. Had they known?

"Did he attack you, Bella?" I turned to look at Emmett. He looked more concerned than angry.

"No." I shook my head. "Quil, he got me to my truck. He helped me leave in time. I drove never looking back until I was safe, with Edward."

Silence filled the room as they waited for me to continue. Jasper sent me another wave of courage.

"Tell us what happened on Friday night sweetie." Alice pleaded.

I went to refuse, but the dose of courage got stronger.

"I went over to find out what was going on with Jacob... he was avoiding me, and my calls. He promised when Charlie died that he would be there for me... but he was breaking that promise. It was breaking my heart, like loosing Charlie all over again."

"What happened?" Alice whispered.

"I asked him to take a walk with me, away from his new friends... I didn't feel like I could speak to him with them listening in."

Images of that night flashed back into my mind. His friends had protested about him walking with me alone, but he told them it was just to get rid of me, that he wouldn't be long.

"What happened when you went for a walk?" Alice asked.

"We had an argument. He said I was being selfish, that I was leading him on. He was so angry. He told that I couldn't have them both."

Fear swept over me. I knew I had to tell what happened next.

"Then what..?" Alice asked.

I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to have to say it.

"I... I told him I had always been straight with him. I had always told him he was no more than a friend to me. I told him that I loved Edward..."

I expected Alice to be annoyed with me. I knew that wasn't the answer she had wanted, that I was dancing around the question, but she wasn't mad. She pulled me closer to her, rocking me a little in her arms.

"It's okay, Bella, you can tell us. It's okay... nothing is going to happen to you."

I didn't want to relive the memories, but most of all I didn't want Edward to know. He would never look at me the same again. He would never love me the same.

"Edward... he'll... " I sobbed.

"Shhhh! Bella."

I jumped as Rosalie appeared at my side. She tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear before taking my hand, holding it tight.

"It's okay, you can tell us Bella. What happened to you? What did he do?" Rose asked.

I was surprised by her sudden concern from me, but it wasn't a moment to question it.

"He was mad. I'd never seen him so mad..."

I shuddered as my mind took me back to that moment.

"We're here to help you. We can only help you if you tell us." Rosalie spoke again; squeezing my hand. "Tell us Bella."

I felt an over dose of courage, it made me feel sick.

"He raped me..." I mumbled.

I crumpled into Alice's arms. Screams breaking from my chest as my body shook. Alice rocked me as Rose gripped onto my hand, her own chest heaving.


	7. Chapter 7

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter Seven**

EPOV

_He raped me._

Bella's words rung in my head.

How could I have been so blind? How could I let this happen? She was meant to be the woman I loved, and I couldn't even handle the task of protecting her. I had let her down. I had thought she that she was safe with him; but I couldn't have been any more wrong.

I didn't know how I was ever going to begin to make this up to her or if she held it against me; I wouldn't blame her if she did. I had failed her.

"Edward."

I turned to see my small sister facing me; her face like mine; tormented with pain. "She's asleep now. Rosalie is sitting with her." I nodded. She turned and headed towards the stairs; her thoughts of Jasper. How she longed for his touch.

I turned back towards the window; starring out into the night. My thoughts were running ragged. The monster in me wanted to go over LaPush and kill Jacob; I thirsted for his blood. To feel his body go limp in my arms; to know that I had killed him.

Sadly, I knew that my family wouldn't let that happen; they were standing guard; waiting for me to make my move. Emmett was lingering by the door to the kitchen; he was trying to hide his thoughts; but I knew he was watching me.

Jasper was in his room consoling Alice; but his thoughts let me know he was listening for my movements. Esme was on the couch behind me; weeping dry tears; Carlisle was doing his best to console her. She wasn't crying over what had happened to her family; though I know it broke her heart. She was crying because she knew her family were coming to war; she feared for us.

I spun round to look at Carlisle; his thoughts catching my attention. "Carlisle, no!"

"Edward, I must. They won't attack me; for sake of the treaty."

He sped off before I could argue with him any longer; with Esme right behind him. I went to follow; but I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder. Jasper appeared at the bottom of the stairs; sending me calming vibes. I admitted defeat; they weren't about to let me go.

Carlisle had gone to see how much information he could find out about them; when it came to the wolves we were in the dark. We didn't know their numbers or sizes. It would be unrealistic to go to war with an enemy we knew so little about.

I wondered about their view on the whole ordeal. Did they know about Jacob's actions? It happened on their territory; they had to know. Were they going to shamelessly side with him?

Venom pooled in my mouth as I thought about the dog and his companions. Surely they couldn't be so inhumane that they would side with a monster? If they did choose to side with him then there would be no choice, but war. It saddened me that I would have to drag my family into such a fuel; but I knew they cared dearly for Bella and would like to seek their own revenge.

My throat burned; though I did not wish to hunt. There was only one blood that could cure my thirst; the blood of the _dog_. I did not expect it to taste pleasant; but what it symbolised would more than satisfy me.

"Edward." Emmett spoke; snapping me from my thoughts. "We are here for you, if you need to talk. We won't let this go unpunished, I see Bella as my sister; I want revenge for what he has done to her; just as much as you. You just have to give Carlisle has place. Let him see try his way; before we do it ours."

I nodded to him. He was right; I owed that much to Carlisle.

"You will have your fight." He patted my shoulder; that was about as sensitive as this conversation was going to get with Emmett.

"I would prefer it if we could find some way to keep the girls from the fight; I don't like them going up against the werewolves; a predator we so know little about." I turned to look at Jasper. I was surprised by his statement; I thought he would have went with the strategy of 'safety in numbers'.

"No way Jazz." My sisters voice beamed from the stairs; before any of us had time to answer. She came to a stop in front of Jazz; her eyes filled with sadness. "I can handle a few _dogs_." Her thoughts told me she was frightened to let Jasper go into a fight without her.

"We don't know how many of them there is; I would feel better if you all sit this one out." Jasper pleaded with her as he took her hands in his.

"Jazz, I already know the outcome of this conversation. I don't need to be a psychic to know that I win." She pulled her hands from his; placing them on his face; looking deep into his eyes. "Bella is my best friend; my sister. I want that _dog_ to pay for just as much as anyone else."

Jasper sighed; he knew he was defeated.

"I wouldn't encourage Rose to sit out; she's so much more feisty in the bedroom after a fight."

Everyone laughed at Emmett; his words were true; but he was just trying to ease the tension in the room. I joyed the moment and somewhat lighter; though I think that was more Jasper's doing.

The fun was short lived; Carlisle returned home with Esme. Both of them were shielding their thoughts from me. "If you could all gather in the dinning room please; we have a lot to discuss."

We filed into the dinning room behind Carlisle; puzzled looks on our faces as we took our seats.

Rosalie choose to remain upstairs with Bella; though she listened to what was being side.

"The meeting with their leader didn't go as well as I had hoped." He sighed looking around the room. "I had hoped that we would have been able to come to a solution; one that didn't involve breaking the treaty. One that didn't involve having two families at war." He sighed. "I thought the best solution would have been to come to an arrangement that Edward and Jacob could fight without it damaging the treaty. That way no one else would need to be involved."

Emmett growled.

"Emmett, I understand your feelings; but I was trying to do what I thought was best for the family. If we entered a fight with the wolves we would be completely blind; Alice wouldn't be able to see the outcome."

"I asked Carlisle to make the arrangement. My heart aches to think that I would loose one of you." Esme whispered; though she knew we could hear her easily. Her hand was gripping Carlisle's tightly; to talk of putting her _children_ in harms way caused her great pain.

"As you know I do not like to speak of fights or harming another living being; but I want justice for what was done to my daughter."

Carlisle's words strung at my heart strings; to have him speak so loving about some that I loved and had brought into the family. My family had been more than kind to me; they had all welcomed Bella with open arms; each of them falling in love with her themselves.

"The wolves... denied my request. They said they wouldn't hand Jacob over; not when he hadn't harmed her."

A growl erupted from my chest as I sprang to my feet. My breathing laboured.

To say I was furious would be an understatement. I stood there panting as I tried to gain control over the monster that was fighting to get out.

Jasper came to my side; placing his hand on my arm; sending me waves of calm. The waves bounced off my body, having no effect. The monster had won.

With my last ounce of control I made myself go outside into the forest at the end of the garden; before I completely lost it.

There I punched my way through trees; tossed boulders through the air and roared; until all anger had left me and I could no longer attack this defenceless forest. Feeling defeated I sank to my knees;my sobs for Bella the only sound around me.

I felt arms wrap around me; I knew Esme had come to comfort me. I cradled into her like a child; as my heart ached for the one I loved.

**BPOV**

I jumped up from my sleep; woken with a growl. I looked around the room dazed; wondering where I was and what was happening. Rosalie was beside my bed; sitting on a chair; watching me. I smiled at her; surprised to see her there; but thankful to have company.

"Rosalie?" I asked confused; still wondering what was happening downstairs.

"It's okay Bella; why don't you go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake."

I smiled at her as I lay my head back down on the pillow. I was rather tired and I liked the new, kind, Rosalie. Maybe we would end up being sisters after all. I closed my eyes; starting to drift back to sleep.

I screamed; sitting back up with a jolt; being woken from my sleep once again by a god awful noise. I looked to Rosalie; terrified of what was happening.

"Bella, it's okay. Shhhh Bella. Your okay." She said shaking me gently; before holding me in her arms.

"What's that noise?" I whimpered.

I looked up at her when my question was only answered with silence.

"Rose?" She appeared to be scared; which made more me scared. "Rose?"

She shook herself from her trance; lying me back down in the bed; tucking me in. "It's nothing Bella. Get some rest."

I could still here the noise. It was like a pack of wild animals were tearing up the forest. Had the wolves come; was that why Rose was scared? I couldn't sit here and not know. As much as it scared me to see _him_; I need to know that everyone was alright; that my Edward was safe.

I sat up; stepping out of bed. Rosalie protested; but I pushed my way past her and made it downstairs.

When I reached the living-room everyone was there; all expect Edward. A pained expression was on each of their faces. They tried to avoid looking at me; but I managed to catch the odd glance. What was going on? I didn't understand. I was going to have to find out for myself; no one was in a hurry to fill me in.

I marched to the kitchen; headed for the back door. I was going to solve this right here and now. I felt strong arms slip around my waist. I let out a scream; the arms instantly retracted.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was trying just trying to stop you from going out there." Emmett's voice panicked.

I turned to face him; I saw the hurt in his eyes. Every time he had made the effort to make physical contact with me I had lost it. I was hurting him. I didn't mean nor want to hurt my brother.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to." I mumbled.

"No Bella. You don't need to apologise; it was my fault. I should have thought." Emmett said; standing in front of me, hanging his head; embarrassed.

I opened my mouth to reassure him when the roaring from outside grabbed my attention. I turned from him and headed for the door. I didn't have time to reassure him right now. I had to find out what was going on outside. I had to know if Edward was safe.

Emmett appeared in front of me after I took a few steps. I looked at him annoyed. "Trust me B."

"Emmett move aside." I ordered him; glaring.

He watched me for a moment; realising that I wasn't about to give up he hesitantly stepped aside.

I walked over to the door; pausing when my hand touched the handle. Taking a deep breath; unsure of what lay outside. I opened the door.

It took several minutes for my eyes to adjust to the daylight. I scanned the garden trying to locate the noise; but I saw nothing, but I knew something was still out there; the noise hadn't stopped. Just then I saw a hint of sparkle glistening from the trees. I squinted my eyes trying to focus; that's when I saw Edward.

He was the one making the noise. He was out of control; punching and knocking over trees; throwing boulders around; knocking over and denting more trees. His roars were that of a wild animal.

I felt a stab in my heart as I sank to my knees. I didn't recognise the man I was looking at; he wasn't Edward. I didn't know this man... this monster. He scared me.

Cries I had been trying to hold broke free; the tears came flooding down my cheeks. Had I done this to him? Had I created this monster.

"Bella? Bella?" I could hear a distant voice. "Bella, look at me."

Hands came to my face; forcing me to look at the person who was calling me; Rosalie.

"Bella, it's okay. Edward is okay." She pulled me close to her chest as she started to rub my back. "This is good Bella. He's blowing off steam." She paused; waiting for me to answer; but I didn't. "Everything is going to be okay.." She whispered in my ear.

I sat there for several minutes crying in her arms; the roars of the monster from the woods stopping me from getting a grasp of my breakdown. Then everything went silent; the silence was soon followed by Edward sobs.

It was like someone stabbing me in the heart all over again. I pulled my hands over my ears; unable to take the sound; but unable to find the strength to soothe the man I loved. I wanted, needed someone to help him.

Esme walked past me in that moment as if reading my thoughts. She went to Edward; taking him in her arms; being the mother he needed. I was grateful that she was able to do the job that I was failing to do.

I sat for hours quietly sobbing in Rosalie's arms as I watched Edward cry in Esme's; so very far away. I longed to be with him; but I could never find the strength to leave the safety and comfort of the house and if I admitted it; there was a part of me that was terrified of him for what I saw.


	8. Chapter 8

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

I stood at the window watching the Volvo disappear up the drive. Edward was leaving with his brothers to go hunting. Carlisle had ordered them to go far enough away so that Edward's instinct didn't take over and lead him straight to LaPush.

I was sad to see him leave; but I knew he needed to hunt. I don't think I had ever saw his eyes go so black. I was also glad to see him go. After I had saw him loose it like that the other night, there was was a side of me that was scared to be around him. I didn't want to feel like that with Edward; I knew he would never harm me; but I couldn't control how I felt.

I hoped after he had hunted that he would have more control over the monster inside of him; the part of him that wanted to rip every last limb from Jacob's body. The part of him that wouldn't be satisfied until Jacob was dead.

I was the only one who wanted to forget about the whole event. I wanted to work on getting past it and put it all behind me; I didn't want to relive it every day. None of the others saw it from my view; not even Rose. I had learned of her own experiences of rape and I now understood why she had now taken to me.

They were all stuck on revenge. They had been going out under the cover of night trying to find out everything they could about the wolves, making plans for their attack. I didn't know when it was going to happen; I preferred it that way. I didn't want to spend my days counting down to the event.

Part of me also thought that I could talk them round; get them to forget about attacking. I could get them to move away; we could start over in another place. This all would soon be long forgotten. I knew I it would never happen; I was a fool to hang onto the hope.

"Bella?" I turned to see Alice standing beside me. "Rose and I are leaving. Are you sure you will be okay for a few hours?"

I nodded. "I'll be fine. I'm just gonna read and then go to bed."

"Esme will be around if you need her." She took me in her arms; squeezing me tight. "See you soon." I watched as she headed out the door.

I was alone in my room. I sighed as headed over to my bed; lying down. I didn't know what to do. I hadn't been in the house with no one around before; everything was so quiet. Whenever I had been in the house I had always had Edward or Alice to amuse me; now I was alone. Sort of how I had been feeling lately.

I sat up on the bed with another sigh; looking around the room for inspiration. _What to do? What to do? _I knew I didn't want to go downstairs; Esme would make a fuss of me; she would mother me; smoother me. It just wasn't what I needed right now.

I love Esme and normally I loved that she mothered me; but lately I couldn't handle everyone hanging over me; fretting about me. Looking at me like I was going to break any moment. I knew I was unstable; I knew I was broken; but I didn't need reminding of it every second of the day when I saw the look in each of their faces when they looked at me.

I sighed at my boredom; thinking it would some how make it go away.

I wished that I was able to go hunting with everyone else; I didn't like to be the one who was left behind. They were all out having fun and I was trapped here; in this room; with my babysitter downstairs.

_I want to be one of them! Why won't he turn me?_

It was the old question I asked over and over again. Why was Edward so against making me one of them? Surely he would be happy at making things easier for everyone. Did he want to be with me forever? Wouldn't he prefer if I could protect myself?

I had never really spoken about it to anyone. I wondered their point of views... Maybe one of the others would change me... Carlisle had changed most of them... Maybe Carlisle would change me. He could change me before Edward came home.

That was it; I was going to speak with Carlisle. I wasn't sure how he would feel about turning me; going against Edward's wishes. I had to know.

I jumped off the bed; grabbed my coat off the couch and dashed downstairs as I pulled it on.

Esme was at the bottom of the stairs by the time I got down them; she was eyeing my coat.

"Bella?"

"Hello Esme."

I had forgot about the fact that I would need to get Esme to let me leave.

"Okay, so I know your not suppose to let me leave; Edward made you promise... But... I really want to go to the hospital. I would like to go and speak with Carlisle. Take this opportunity when Edward isn't around."

"I don't know Bella; Edward wouldn't like it. Cant you wait till he comes home?"

"By then Alice and Rose will be home. I would like to speak with him when no one else is around; when no one else can hear us. _Please Esme. _I promise Edward will never know; I will drive straight there and back; no stops."

She paused for a few moments; starring at me. The sense of defeat started to sweep over me; but to my surprise she said yes.

I kissed her on the check and raced outside before she could change her mind. I took the Volvo; driving faster than my normal speed; I headed straight to the hospital; with no stops; like I had promised.

When I arrived at the hospital it was close to ten o'clock. The ER seemed fairly quiet; there was just one patient in the waiting room. He looked like he had been in a bar fight. Which wasn't unusual considering it was a Friday.

I walked up to the lady at the desk; who had her head stuck in a some medical book. I coughed to grab her attention.

"Hello. I'm here to see Carlisle. Can you tell him Bella is here?"

She nodded and rouse from her chair. I watched her walk into a staff only area.

I suddenly began to feel very nervous; my palms were sweating and my heart was racing. I paced the floor back and forth as I waited for Carlisle.

A sudden realisation hit me; what if he said no? I hadn't really thought about what his answer might be. I guess I was too scared it might be an answer I didn't want; that he might side with Edward.

"Bella?" I turned to see Carlisle' his concerned eyes scanning my face. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine. If you had sometime I would like to talk to you." I began fidgeting with the sleeve of my top as I wondered what was going through his mind. How he was going to react. What he was going to say.

"Of course." He said motioning for me to walk towards his office. "I will take one of my breaks, that way we'll have all the time we need." He stopped outside his office door. "If you go inside; I wont be a moment."

I nodded as I turned and headed inside his office. As I stood inside the room waiting on him I looked around. I had been in here a few times; but it had just been for a few seconds; I hadn't paid attention to it's contents.

His office wasn't like I expected at all. I guess I had expected something grand; like the one he had at home. This office was the total opposite. It was small and pokey. It had no real character to it at all. There was only a desk and what looked like a rather uncomfortable mental chair.

There was a few books on his desk; with a lot paperwork; but there was little else in the room. No bookshelves, pictures, nothing. It had no character at all. If I had walked in here accidentally I wouldn't have known or even guessed that this belonged to Carlisle. There was no sense of him at all.

"So Bella." Carlisle spoke as he entered the room. "Please take a seat."

I did as he asked and walked over to the uncomfortable chair; taking a seat. Carlisle sat down on the desk; facing me. I think the gesture was an attempt to make me feel more comfortable. He sat patiently waiting for me to start.

I took a deep breath and began. "Carlisle, I wanted to talk to you about me... becoming a vampire."

"Ah, I see." He said; his form relaxing a little.

"I thought I would take the opportunity when Edward wasn't around to discuss it with you. I think that we are all aware of his feelings on the matter."

"Yes. I think we are." He spoke; though his eyes were hazed over; he was deep in thought. Was he trying to keep me guessing or did he not want to discuss this with me?

"I'm sorry. Are you okay discussing this?" I asked after a few minutes silence.

"Oh, no Bella, I'm fine. Please carry on." He smiled trying to reassure me.

"As you know. Edward won't change me. He is against changing me; but I want to be turned." I took a deep breath of courage. "I wondered if you would change me."

"Oh."

"If you don't want to I will understand." I wouldn't understand; but I didn't want to guilt him into turning me.

"Bella, as much as it would displease Edward. I think that he would come to terms with it. If you both are to continue in your relationship then it makes perfect sense. If you would like me to be the one to change you then I will do it. All I ask is you make sure it's what you want. There won't be any danger for you; I have turned others before. You just need to be sure it's what you want."

"I am sure; more sure of this than anything else." I tried to force the smile from my face. _He is going to do it. He is going to turn me!_ I would no longer be useless; defenceless Bella.

"That said; I don't think we should rush into things."

"I don't want to wait." I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice. I felt all hope inside me being slowly crushed. He was trying to pull out of it.

"Why don't you wait until after graduation? I don't think now would be a good time. We can't just take you out of your schooling; people would ask questions."

"Carlisle, I cant wait." I felt the tears begin to build up in my eyes. "Please don't make me wait."

"Why are you in such a hurry?"

I paused for a moment; looking down at my hands. I knew why I was in such a hurry. I didn't want to be defenceless Bella any longer. Would he understand this? I looked at his face; I only saw concern and love. I wasn't sure if he would understand, but I had to give him a chance.

"I want to be able to protect myself." I mumbled.

"Ah, I see." He got up; coming over to me to wrap his arms around my shoulders. "When the family return tomorrow; I will call a meeting. We can discuss it then and don't worry about Edward. I will talk to him."

I nodded.

I suppose that was the best I was going to get out of him tonight. I thanked him for seeing me. I said my goodbyes and made my way back to the Volvo. I looked at the clock on the dashboard; 11:15. Esme would be wondering where I was. I had better call her. I pulled out my phone and dialled her number; she sounded glad to hear my voice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how long I was gone. I'm just leaving the hospital. I will be home soon."

"Please come straight home."

"I will."

I knew she was worried about me and didn't want to cause her any-more worry. I started the car and headed home as fast as I could.

Driving home my mind wondered to the the conversation I had just had with Carlisle. I had forgotten to tell him that I didn't want Edward to know that I had gone to the hospital. I must remember to tell him in morning before he arrived back. Though I'm sure Edward would soon figure it out once we had the meeting.

I looked around Fork's as I drove. It was rather quiet for a Friday night; there weren't many people around. Just a few of the local drunks sitting on park bench's. _Charlie would have moved them on by now_.

As much as I loved my new life and family. I still missed my dad. The town had gone downhill since he passed away; crime rate had slowly risen. It saddened me to see how Fork's had crumbled after his death.

_What would Charlie think of me being a vampire? _I laughed as the thought popped into my head. I don't think he would have understood nor liked it.

I never noticed the dog standing on the road as I left town; I was too deep in my own thoughts. I didn't see it until the last minute.

I slammed my foot on the breaks; my truck skidded across the road. I fought with the wheel trying to regain control; but I couldn't. Every move I tried only made the car spin worse.

I screamed when I realised the truck was head towards the trees.

My body sprung forward; smashing into the windscreen as the truck made impact with the trees. The glass shattered against the force of my head; warm blood trickled down my face as I fought to stay conciseness.


	9. Chapter 9

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter 9**

**EPOV**

I was thankful for the time away with my brothers; even though I had been forced to go. We had driven to Snoqualmie National Park. It was a reasonable distance away; but close enough should we be needed. I feasted on several mountain lion; though it never fully took the burn from my throat. I never expected it to. _His_ blood was the only one that would.

My family was doing everything in their power to keep me from being reckless and going over there to start a war; with an unknown amount of wolves.

I just had to bide my time. I kept telling myself that time didn't mean much; not to someone like me. I just had to let it take it's course. The right moment would present itself when the timing was right and I would get to kill him. All I had to do was wait.

Bella hoped that if she distracted me for long enough then I would forget about it and leave things alone. She didn't understand that I would live the rest of eternity tormenting myself over the fact that I had failed her. _I had let this happen_.

I would be lying if I said I didn't crave the revenge for myself more than I did for Bella. I wanted to take my pain and frustration out him. I wanted to watch him suffer the way he had made her suffer the same pain.

I spent most of my days and nights thinking of how I would torture him. Deciding which ones would inflict the most pain. Which would be the slowest and which would give me the greatest pleasure.

If I could. I would kill him over and over. I would bring him back to life, just to kill him. I would torture him till he was ready to give up and then give him a shot of adrenalin. Just so we could do it all over again.

The only real thing I had decided for sure was that I wanted my venom to be the poison that killed him. I wanted my venom to steal the last remains of life from his body.

My phone rang; I pulled it out my pocket to see Alice's name flash on the screen. I instantly knew that something was wrong.

"Alice?"

"Edward!" Alice cried. "Bella went to the hospital to see Carlisle. I let her go because I saw that everything was fine. She would be safe. I'm sorry. I was wrong. I shouldn't have let her go. I should have called Esme and told her to stop her. When she was on her way home; her future changed. I tried to get there in time to stop it; but I was too late. I'm sorry Edward. Please don't blame Esme; it was my fault."

"Alice, what's happened to Bella?"

"The Volvo crashed into some trees. She hurt her head; knocked herself out. When I got here I was too late. It had already happened. When I went over to the truck she was gone Edward; we can't find her anywhere. The last thing I saw in my vision was a glimpse of a dog and then darkness. On further scans I saw her hitting the tree and getting injured. I'm blind... I cant see where she is; what's happened to her." Her voice was full of panic.

"We've searched everywhere for her. We cant find her anywhere. Her trail goes cold in the woods. She's vanished." She paused for a moment waiting for me to speak; when she realised I couldn't speak she continued. "Edward in my vision the dog on the road; I don't think it was a dog.. I think it was a wolf. It could be him. This could have something to do with him."

"I'll be home within the hour." I snapped the phone shut.

My brothers were standing at my side; concern on their faces; not fully understanding what they had heard."Bella is missing." It was all I could manage to say.

I started running for home; like Bella's life depended on it; for all I knew it did. I felt Jasper and Emmett running a few miles behind me. I didn't slow down; I didn't have time to waste.

**BPOV**

I woke up aware of being bounced around. I tried to force my eyes open; wondering where I was; what was happening. The daylight stung my eyes as I finally managed to open them; making my head throb. I looked around as my eyes came into focus.

I was travelling through the woods at a fast speed; but I wasn't in the arms of a vampire; I was lying on top of a dog; no a wolf.

I screamed. _Jacob has me._ I had to find a way out of this; I had to run away some how. I wriggled trying to jump off the dog when he skidded to a halt; I fell off him onto the ground.

I started backing away; my eyes never leaving the wolf. I had to get out of here. I had to make a noise then maybe Edward or someone could find me.

The wolf looked away for a second and I took my chance. I jumped to my feet and started running as fast as I could.

"No, Bella wait. You don't understand." A voice shouted after me; but I didn't recognise the voice. I slowed down; wondering who had called for me.

"Please Bella, wait!"

I turned to see a naked boy running after me; holding a tree branch in front of him; trying to protect his dignity. He wasn't Jacob; I knew that much. He had the same dark hair; the same kind of dark eyes. Though he was much younger; maybe a few years younger than Jacob.

I would have laughed at the image before me if I hadn't just been running for my life.

"Please. I don't mean you any harm."

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" I chocked. My heart was still pounding; I was still terrified.

"I'm Seth. Your dad knew my dad. Harry Clearwater. They use to go fishing." I nodded.

Though it meant little to me. My dad had also known Jacob's dad; that hadn't saved me before. It hadn't stopped Jacob. Billy hadn't rushed to protect me.

"I don't mean you any harm. I'm trying to save you."

_Save me? _I looked at him confused. What did he mean?

"I'm sorry Bella, but we don't have time. I can't explain everything now. We have to get moving before they find us. I know you must have lots of questions you need answering."

"Before who finds us?" I asked looking around in a panic.

"My pack; well my old pack. I'm going to transform back into a wolf. I'll need you to ride on my back until we get to my safe place; my dad use to take me there camping. We're about an hour away. I promise to answer all your questions then."

I watched him as he walked behind a wide tree; trying to keep his dignity. I looked away when I could no longer see him.

I stood there trying to make sense of everything. I didn't understand why a stranger would help me or why his whole pack would be after me. What had I done that was so wrong? I wanted to ask Seth ; but I knew I had lost the opportunity. I would have to wait till we reached safety.

I wondered where Edward was; was he looking for me? What would he think of me placing my trust in Seth so easily? Would he approve? I don't think he would.

I watched as the white wolf slipped out from behind the tree. He came over to me; giving me a nudge me. I knew now looking at him; without fear glazing my eyes that he didn't look like Jacob at all. He was white and pure. Jacob had been red, the colour of fire.

I climbed onto his back; wrapping my arms around his neck; nestling my head into his fur. It felt nice; he was so warm.

I felt my eyes begin to fight sleep as we ran along. The rocking motion of the run and the warmth of his body were so soothing. I gave into the sleep; closing my eyes; knowing no nightmares would come; I was safe.

An hour later I woke as I was being gently lowered to the ground.

I opened my eyes to see Seth the white wolf looking down at me. He had a red blanket in his mouth; which he now lowered over me. I smiled at him; thanking him. I started to feel the cold now that my body was so far from his.

I looked around to see we were in a small cave. It was dark and gloomy; with little wind; the constant noise of dripping water rung in my ears. Where I sat; close to the mouth of the cave was dry; with just the right amount of daylight breaking through.

I wasn't looking forward to night time; this cave would grow more dark and there wouldn't be any light to shine. I wouldn't be able to see an inch in front of my face. I wouldn't see anyone coming; if they found us; I wouldn't notice until it was too late.

Seth grunted at me before he walked out the cave; a minute later he walked back in with knee length black shorts on.

"Where did you get the shorts and blanket?"

"Outside a tent, a few miles back." He sat down close to me. "If your cold lean into me. I'm like a radiator these days; ever since the change."

I leaned my head against his shoulder and snuggled a little closer. He was right; he was like a radiator. It would make getting through the night that much easier.

"Can you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked after several minutes of silence.

He sat quietly gathering his thoughts.

"Jacob has been watching you and if he wasn't the one watching you then he had Paul or Embry doing it; reporting back to him what they saw."

I shivered at his words. "Why are the others listening to him; why are they watching me for him?"

"Sam use to be Alpha; Jacobs now took over the role; it was rightly his; he inherited it... I think they're doing it because they want to. Though even if they really didn't want to he could command them to do it and they would have to follow his orders; sorta like magic."

I nodded; not wanting to interrupt him.

"Jacob was never interested in the position in the beginning; but Sam was trying to stop him coming after you. So there was a big fight to see who was Alpha; it was close; but Jacob won. I think Sam could have won; but he was more worried about hurting Jacob; than Jacob seemed to be about hurting him. Sam was left bleeding and broken in the forest; while Jacob went off to celebrate with his friends."

I was glad he spared me the details of how bad Sam was beaten. All my family had thought bad of him. None of us realised he was trying to protect me in his own way.

"So Sam was no longer in the pack; I decided to leave their pack and join him. I didn't like who they were becoming. I was the only one left to help Sam back from the forest that night; none of them cared if he lived or died."

He sighed; I could see the swelling of his eyes as he fought back tears. I guessed he didn't want to cry in front of me; he wanted to keep his manly appearance.

"I couldn't be part of them any longer; they were beasts, monsters. Little of their human selves; of who they use to be remain. My sister Leah joined Sam's new pack once I had told her what had happened."

"She wasn't at the fight?"

"No. Sam and her use to be an item; although she is bitter towards Sam; she still loves him; she couldn't watch him get hurt."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, its okay." He squeezed my hand.

"Last night we realized that they were planning to take you. They knew that you were alone and unprotected, well all expect the mother. Leah offered to distract them so I could leave to save you... I'm sorry I made you crash. I admit I didn't think nor plan what I was going to do. I just knew I didn't have much time to do it in."

"It's okay Seth; I'm fine now." _Save for a throbbing head and a few cuts and bruises._

We both sat in silence; deep in thought.

I was trying to process everything Seth had just told me. I gathered that Jacob turning into a werewolf was what inspired this new change in him; it had turned him in a beast. From what he had said it had affected the rest of them in the same way. There was only three of them that had remained the same; kept who they were.

I didn't understand how they had managed to keep a watch on me considering I lived in a house full of vampires. Surely one of them would have heard or sensed them. I would need to remember to tell Edward; if I ever got out of this place.

Also why had Sam lied to Carlisle when he knew that Jacob was in the wrong?

"Do you hurt anywhere Bella?" Seth asked finally breaking the silence.

"My head hurts a little."

He turned to check my head; being as gentle as he could.

"I checked and cleaned your head after the crash; when I got far enough away. It just looks like a superficial cut. Though I cant tell if you have any internal injuries." He looked down at me terrified.

I pulled his hand to mine. "Seth I'm sure its just a scratch; like you said. It's nothing to worry about."

He smiled; but I knew he didn't share my view.

"I panicked; I'm sorry. I knew I didn't have much time until they realized what we were doing. After the crash I slid you onto my back. I ran as fast as I could. I didn't really have a plan; other than to get you to safety. After we had been running for a while I thought of this place. If Leah wasn't able to read my mind she would have been the only one who could guess where I was."

"What about Edward? Does he know where I am?"

"No, he doesn't know."

"You have to tell him. We have to go and find him." I cried as I jumped to my feet in a panic. Images of Edward searching for me flashing through my mind.

"We can look for him in the morning, when everything is safe."

"You don't understand. Edward will go mad. He has to know I'm okay. You have no idea what he'll do!"

I could feel my whole body shake as I thought of my family out searching for me. Edward would be going wild with worry. I feared this would destroy him if left to go on for too long.

"Okay," Seth sighed. "I'll transform into wolf and ask Sam to go find him, let him know."

"No! Not Sam," I gasped, grabbing his arm. "He'll kill Sam on sight."

"I'll ask my sister." Seth said as he got up and headed towards the entrance of the cave.

I sat there worrying over how this was all going to play out. Would Edward listen to Leah? Would he hurt her? I prayed that he would listen to her before he attacked. I couldn't handle knowing she got hurt trying to help me.


	10. Chapter 10

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter Ten**

EPOV

_Stupid blood suckers. Why the hell do I get to be the one sent to fetch him. My brother should learn to keep his noise out of matters that don't concern him. I had begged him not to do it, but no. He was going to save the girl one way or the other. If I wasn't around to distract them then it would have all went wrong. They would have arrived as he was pulling her from the truck. They have turned on him, attacked him. _

I stopped in my tracks as I picked up on someone's thoughts. It was a woman's voice, she was angry and ranting to herself. I wondered what she was doing alone in the woods. She seemed to know something about what happened to Bella. At last a lead to go on. I had run through the forest all day, searching for any signs of Bella or the pack with no luck. I froze as I listened in.

_Why did I have to turn into a werewolf anyway? I didn't ask for this life. If it wasn't bad enough that the wolves had stole Sam from me. Stupid imprinting. Now it had to go and make me a werewolf._

_The first female werewolf of the tribe. I didn't want to run around like a dog, smelling crap and covered in hair. It was the bloodsuckers fault. If they had stayed away from our lands then I would have had a normal life. _

I felt sorry for her then. I saw the imagines of how she had loved Sam. Then the imagines of how he imprinted with her cousin, forgetting her and all he ever felt for her. The pain of having to watch him touch and look at her the way he use to look at her. I didn't understand what she quite meant about it being our fault, nor did I care.

I sniffed the air as the wind blew her scent over to me. She was about a mile to the left. I fought over confronting her or staying here to listen to what she was thinking. I was unsure which choice would get me the answers I needed. She clearly didn't like our kind.

_Stupid blood sucker probably wouldn't give me the chance to speak - just attack me on sight. Though I suppose I can't blame him, not with the way Jacob's pack has been behaving lately. Jacob wants to claim her as his, like some chew toy. _

_Its all he ever thinks about. How he needs to have her and is going to do whatever it takes. He hates the thought of that blood sucker touching her. I really don't understand why she would want to be with one, but the girl should have free choice to be with whoever she wants, but that's not how he sees it. He's willing to start a war to get her... _

_He's not even concerned on how this effects the safety of our tribe._

I was confused. Was she looking for one of us? My confusion was washed away with angry when I heard her speak of Jacob and the way he thought of Bella. If it was a war he was looking for, it was a war he was going to get.

_I wonder if he did rape her. I wouldn't find it hard to believe, not with the way he's been. Its sad though, before he turned they were the best of friends. _

_There is a rumour going around that Paul rapped his sister and Embry attacked some girl at school... _

_The way things are going I want to leave LaPush more than protect it. I wish mum would just agree to leave, but she chooses to stay with her memories of dad. She has no idea how dangerous this town is going to get if things don't change._

I had heard enough. I sprinted towards her. She starred at me as I stopped in front of her.

_Where did he come from? I didn't catch his scent. I didn't even know he was there. I_ _wonder how much he heard, Well if it's true, that he can mind read._

"I heard enough to believe that you aren't running with Jacob. I have no reason to wish you harm. I just wish to find Bella."

She eyed me suspiciously.

"I only want to get Bella, home."

She watched me for a few minuets, her mind weighing up wither she could trust me or not.

_My brother has taken her to an old fishing location that my dad and him used. _

"Will you take me there?"

_Yes. My brother asked me to come find you, Bella knew you would be looking for her._

"Where is the cave? I will have my family met us there."

_No. I don't want more than one of you around, I feel uncomfortable as it is._

I nodded. "I understand, I will come alone."

I didn't want to push her and risk her not taking me to Bella. I would call my family once I got there.

_It will take us a few hours to reach the cave, we best leave now._

I watched as she sped away. I was soon running along beside her to her disappointment. She thought of herself as the fastest of her kind. She never expected bloodsuckers to be as fast, but I was the first she had encountered. I could hear her conflicting thoughts as we ran. She knew that she was meant to hate me, but she couldn't hide the fact that I was nothing like she had expected.

We had been running for just over and hour, with no conversation. Though her thoughts gave away how she was feeling. I even thought she had almost forgotten that I could read her mind.

She wasn't happy that her brother had saved Bella. She was very protective of him and didn't like that he had put himself at risk. She understood why he had done it, they were both shocked when they had heard the packs plans. Seth had too much goodness in him to stand back and do nothing – for that I would be forever grateful.

She was in as much hurry as I was to reach the cave, but unlike us she did tire. She was pushing herself, worried about her brothers safety. She was concerned because she wasn't in wolf form and she had no means of communication.

I slowed down to a brisk walk and she did the same.

"I just need to rest for a minute or two." I told her. I waited wondering how much she knew about us, did she know that we didn't need to rest? I had gathered from her thoughts that she was a very stubborn person and that she wouldn't have taken kindly to me stopping to let her rest so I let her think we were stopping for me.

We were just about to set off again when I heard movement a few hundred yards to my left. I signalled for her to hold still.

_What is it? _

"I don't know." I whispered so only she could hear.

I could faintly hear two heart beats a few miles ahead, but no other movement. The heartbeats were racing; unlike human hearts. They had to be werewolves. The wind blew their scent towards me confirming my suspicion.

"We have company."

I watched as Leah sniffed the air; catching their scent as I had.

_It's Paul and Quil. _

I nodded, though I had no idea who they were. I had been hoping that one of them was Jacob; hoping for my chance to end this.

We stood silent. I couldn't get a proper read on their thoughts; from what I gathered they were searching for someone. My guess would have been they were searching for Bella. They would die before they got anywhere near her.

"Their searching for someone." I told Leah once I realised she was starring at me.

_Do you think it's us?_

"I'm not sure."

_I don't think they are expecting us out here or they would be on guard, ready to attack us._

I nodded.

There was only one way to find out what they were doing out here and who they were looking for. I was going to talk to them.

"Stay here." I ordered Leah as I made my way towards them.

I heard her steps behind me. _What if they attack you? You can't fight two of them yourself._

I didn't argue with her. It was her right to choose to face them; from what I had gathered from her thoughts, she had a few issues with them herself.

We took them by surprise as we sprung from the trees, stopping in-front of the chocolate and dark silver wolves, both enormous in size. They were confused by Leah's presence. Their thoughts were all over the place.

"Who are you looking for?" I asked getting straight to the point.

_How does he know we are looking for someone? Does he know we're searching for Bella?_ They both exchanged glances, confused.

"I know because I can read your mind."

_Yeah right!_ The larger silver wolf had a chuckle to himself.

"Yeah right yourself." I scowled him. "I warn you both now, stop searching for Bella. Go back to LaPush and stay there. You can tell Jacob that this isn't over. When I have Bella safe, I'm coming for him and this time we are going to finish it."

The chocolate wolf was more tame than the other. I got a feeling that he didn't agree with this fight and what they were doing, but he did well to hide his thoughts from me or maybe it was from his brothers.

The silver wolf had anger issues, he dared me to start a fight. He stood there mocking me, laughing at my threat. It seems I was going to have to send the message a little differently than planned. He was fighting with his ego over wither or not he should teach me a lesson. I stood back waiting on his attack.

He leapt through the air at me, I stepped to the side leaving him to collide with the ground. He spun around confused. He hadn't worked out that if I could hear his thoughts then I would know how he planned to attack.

He took another run at me. I again stepped to the side, leaving him to go head first into a tree. He howled with pain and frustration.

Leah stood by at the sidelines, not making a move. She found the whole show rather amusing. Quil also stood there, with no intentions to attack and help his brother.

After several more minutes of Paul trying to attack I decided that I had toyed with him long enough. I had more important things to do. I still had to get to Bella.

When he choose to run at me again I dodged him, grabbing his front leg and snapping it. The bone was popping out; blood seeping from the wound. He whimpered and fell to the ground as I let him go.

I wrinkled my nose at the stench of his blood; it polluted the air. I walked over to Leah. "Shall we?" I asked.

The silver beast started to growl at me, I turned to look at him, just as he started to make a weak attempt to run at me. He saw himself as a threat, but he was too damaged to cause any harm to me.

I run at him, crashing into him and sending him flying into a tree. He howled in pain, struggling to get back onto his feet. He wasn't ready to give up. I didn't have time for this.

"You should learn when to give up." I snarled at him. I rushed at him again; picking him up by the throat, holding him against a tree. I crushed his air pipes till he feel unconscious and then let him drop to the ground. He wouldn't be getting back up any-time soon.

"You!" I shouted turning to the chocolate wolf, who had stood silent and lifeless the whole time. He started to edge away from me. He feared that I was now going to set on him.

"Go back to your pack. Tell Jacob I'm coming for him, I'm going to settle this once and for all."

He started backing away from me; his eyes never leaving mine for fear I would attack when he had his back to me. When he was a safe enough distance he turned and ran as fast as he could. He listened for my steps coming behind him. He thought that I was toying with him and would soon be coming after him.

I turned back to Leah. I was a little anxious about how she felt over what had happened. It wasn't so long ago they were her brothers of the pack. She wasn't disgusted or annoyed with me so I relaxed a little.

_Don't worry Paul deserved it._

I nodded.

_He will start to heal soon. We heal quickly. So we best get going. The more distance between us the better._

I nodded at her warning. He might heal quickly, but his leg would need reset, he wouldn't be much a threat until it was fixed.

I sure that the other wolf would bring his pack after us, we would have to go back a different route home. I didn't want to get into a fight until I knew Bella was safe and no harm could come to her.

Leah motioned for me to follow her before she set off through the trees. I was by her side seconds later, keeping a steady pace. I think I had finally found someone that could give me a good race.


	11. Chapter 11

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

It felt like we had been sitting in the cave for days. It didn't help that I struggled to tell the time of day, with the darkness of the cave it all felt the same. I knew of course that we had only been here a matter of hours and not days, but I didn't know how long we had been travelling before I woke. I wasn't sure how long I'd been gone.

"Seth, what time do you reckon it is?"

"About three in the morning."

I should be asleep in my bed, with Edwards arms wrapped around me. I sighed snuggling further into Seth's arms, trying to keep myself warm. My body wanted to sleep, I was exhausted, but my head knew that it wasn't safe.

The only sense of safe I had left was the comfort of knowing that with each passing minute Edward was closer to me, he would soon be here. Seth had told me his sister had found Edward and they had headed this way a few hours ago. I knew they had to be arriving soon. It wouldn't be long until I was in Edward's arms and I felt safe, like nothing in the world could hurt me. I had been wrong and selfish to hold what happened against him, it wasn't his fault. If anything he was the one that didn't want me going near _him_. Though I wasn't about to let up on the fact that I wanted him to change me. I don't think I would ever be able to get over this if he didn't.

I had been a fool to insist that I drove all the way over to the hospital on my own to see Carlisle. I shouldn't have put Esme in a position like that. I hoped that she didn't blame herself for what had happened. If she did I would have to convince her otherwise.

The whole thing was one big argument as to why I shouldn't be left human. If I was one of them then maybe _he _wouldn't want me. None of this would have happened. I would be forever by Edwards side, the way it was meant to be.

Seth jumped to his feet, snapping me from my thoughts. I looked at him trying to figure out if I should feel excited or scared? It couldn't read his face.

"Seth?" I asked.

I waited for a sign.

He didn't answer. He kept his eyes fixed on the entrance to the cave.

I was terrified. If it was Edward and his sister he would have told me by now, right? That meant it could only be one other person, it was _him_.

I sat there shaking with fear. I wrapped my arms around myself trying to offer some comfort and protection.

I glanced at Seth. What would _he_ do to him? All this time I had only thought of myself and what would happen to me. I never thought of what would happen to Seth. Would they kill him? Tears came to my eyes. Seth was too good, too pure, he didn't deserve to die.

I froze when I heard an animal running towards the cave entrance. I sat there holding my breath, starring at the entrance, waiting for evil to come.

It wasn't evil that came. It was the most beautiful sight in the world, Edward, followed by a small grey wolf. He was carrying a burning torch, which I guessed was for my benefit. I started crying with relief and happiness. It was _my _Edward. He was here to save me. He was exactly as I remembered him, all expect the worry that was now scarred his eyes. I had to go tell him that I was okay, that he didn't need to worry. I was safe. I was with him.

I got up to run to him, not looking where I was going. My foot caught on a rock and before I knew it my face was hurling towards the rocky floor of the cave. I closed my eyes waiting for impact. It never came. His arms were wrapped around me, he had pulled me to my feet. He was holding me. I opened my eyes to look up at him. He had a smirk on his face. No doubt he found my clumsiness funny.

I ran my hand down the side of his face, tracing my finger over his lips. Taking in every inch of his face. I had missed him. We had been apart for so long. Long before Seth had taken me. I had pushed Edward away from me because of what _he _had done. I swore never to do it again. He was the one I needed, the only one. I would never keep anything from him again, I would bare my soul to him. No matter how painful.

I saw that it had been wrong not to tell him or our family. Jacob was dangerous. Things had gotten out of hand. I had been silly to think that if I hid this then it would all go away. I shivered at the thought of _him,_ now wasn't the time. I was finally with Edward and I didn't want to think of anything else.

"I'm sorry..." I started to say, but he put his fingers up to my lips.

He looked deep into my eyes. I saw a longing in his I knew only too well. I put my hands in his hair, pulling him towards me. My lips met his. At first I had wanted to pull away, it didn't feel right, it felt dirty, it reminded me of _him. _

I forced myself to keep kissing him, reminding myself that this was the man I loved. He wanted and needed this comforting just as much as I did, I had to let him in. It was a kiss of love, full of passion, that burned deep within us both. His tongue licked at my lips, asking for entry. I hesitantly complied. After a moments of getting use to his tongue in my mouth, my tongue met his in a fight of love.

The fire within us was calling for more, but I knew it would be a long time before I was ready to give myself to him. He didn't push me any further, he had his hands on my face and kept them there.

A small bark reminded us that we were not alone. Edward pulled his lips from mine, resting his forehead on mine as we both composed ourselves.

When I turned I saw two wolves looking at us. Seth must have turned. I looked from him to his sister who was a smaller wolf, grey in colour. She had a beauty of her own, but her coat was not nearly as beautiful as Seth's white, snow like coat.

"Thank you." I said looking between them. "You both have risked a great deal for me. When you both don't even know me. I would like to repay you in some way when all of this is over." I looked at Edward, waiting for him to translate anything that was said.

"Seth, says your welcome, and that he didn't rescue you so you would repay him."

I sighed.

Edward as if he had read my mind whispered in my ear. "Don't worry, we'll find a way." He placed a kiss on my head. I was grateful that he knew me so well.

"We better head back. I want to make use of the darkness." Edward told to me, planting another kiss on my head.

I nodded.

Edward gently lifted me onto his back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sinking my head into his shoulders so I wouldn't be able to see anything as we ran. We took off . I couldn't wait to be home.

We had been running for just over an hour. I had been drifting in and out of sleep; tiredness was finally over taking my body. I was slowly falling back to sleep when I felt Edward come to a sudden stand still. Before I knew where I was he slid me off his back. I looked at him through confused, sleepy eyes.

"Edward?"

He didn't answer. I saw the look on his face. This wasn't good. I looked around to see Seth and Leah standing on either side of us; both of them bearing their teeth. Fear crept over me. A growl erupted from Edward's chest; making me jump and confirming my fears. We were not alone.

I tried to hold it together, but I couldn't. I fell to the ground, tears streaming from my eyes. My full body shaking. This was how it was all going to end. This was how I was doing to die. How we were going to die.

Edward turned to me, dropping to my level. He took my face in his hands, making me look at him. "Bella?"

I couldn't answer for crying.

He pulled me tight against his chest. "Bella, everything is going to be alright. I won't let anyone harm you." he whispered in my ear.

"How many?" I finally managed to sob.

"Leah, says its the rest of the pack... five of them." He kissed my head before continuing. "I'm sorry there is not enough time to run and we cant risk one of us being singled out while we try to escape with you..."

Five against three. I didn't like the odds. The wolves were so big, we didn't stand a chance.

"Bella." Edward said snapping me back to him. He handed me his phone. "I want you to stand here against this tree, behind me. Don't move. I wont let anyone pass." He sighed. "I want you to call Alice, let her know what's happening."

I nodded as he pulled me to my feet, placing me against the tree. He placed a kiss on my head and then turned his attention towards the trees in front of us. Growls lashing from his throat.

I fumbled with his phone as I searched for Alice's number.

It rung twice before she answered.

"Edward, I'm so glad it's you, we've been so worried." Alice cried.

"Alice, it's Bella..."

"Bella! You're safe. Thank god. Where are you?"

"I... don't know." I whispered as I saw five snarling wolves step out from the trees in front of us. I looked down at the ground. I couldn't watch.

"Bella, what's that noise? What's going on? Where are you?" I could hear panic creep into Alice's voice.

I didn't answer.

"Bella, put Edward on."

"I can't."

I could hear clashing of bodies, bones breaking and trees crumbling. My eyes remained fixed on the ground at my shoes.

I couldn't help but cry. I felt useless, there was nothing I could do. We were all going to die and I was stood here doing nothing.

"Bella?" Alice shouted through the phone.

I had forgot she was there.

"Bella, answer me!"

"I'm here." I whispered.

"Bella, I know your scared, but you have to pull it together. You need to tell us where you are so we can help you. Tell us what's happening."

Upon her words I looked up. I didn't mean to. I wish I hadn't.

A black/grey wolf had Leah pinned to the ground; snarling above her; while a chocolate wolf was ripping chunks of flesh from her. I could hear her whimper. She was squirming in pain. There was nothing I could do to help her. I looked away from Leah, unable to watch her suffer any-more.

My eyes landed on Seth. He was fighting against a large brown wolf and struggling to keep his own. A sly silver wolf was circling behind him, clawing and biting at him when it had the chance. They were wearing Seth down, he wouldn't last much longer.

My mind wondered to Edward. Was he okay? I needed to know, but I didn't want to look.

My eyes betrayed me.

Edward and Jacobs bodies were locked together as they wrestled on the forest floor. Jacob had the upper hand, he took a bite at Edward's arm, ripping off a chuck of flesh.

I crumbled to the ground, looking away as tears blinded me. My Edward. _He_ was hurting my Edward and there was nothing I could do.

"Bella? Bella? Bella?" Screams echoed out of the phone.

Alice. I had forgot about Alice.

"I'm here." I sobbed.

"Bella, it's going to be okay. I promise. I just need you to focus for me. Tell me where you are."

"I can't... I don't know..." I whimpered. I was useless. I was the final nail on the coffin. I was killing them all.

"Okay. Then tell me what you can see." Alice said trying to remain calm.

"Trees."

"Is there anything there other than trees? Did you see anything else?"

"There... there was a river, we crossed a river about half an hour ago."

"Good. Is there anything you can tell me about the river, Bella?"

"I can't remember." I whimpered; admitting defeat.

"Think Bella!"

"It had a bridge..."

I was knocked to the floor before I could finish my answer. The silver wolf ripping the phone from my hand, crushing it in his mouth. I screamed in panic, trying to fight my way free.

This was it. I wasn't ready to die.

The wolfs drool fell onto my face as it towered above me, snarling. I clammed my eyes shut. I waited for the pain. I wait for death to take me, but it didn't come.

When I found the courage to open my eyes again the wolf was still there snarling me, but he wasn't hurting me. He wasn't biting me like the others. I didn't understand.

I squirmed trying to see around me. I couldn't see Edward or Seth.

I caught sight of Leah. She had just about given up fighting. Both the chocolate and patchy grey wolf were ripping and clawing at her as she lay on the ground, she was almost lifeless, expect for a few jerks.

Her body was covered in flesh wounds; her fur matted with blood. She was shredded to pieces. _How could they do that to her?_ _Why weren't they stopping? _I lay there weeping for her. She was dying. They were killing here and there was no one here to help her. I had given up hope. I was waiting to die. We all were.

Then he came.

A black wolf jumped out of no where. It launched itself at the two wolves attacking Leah. Taking them in it's mouth, one at a time; shaking them like a doll then tossing them into a tree. They lay unconscious, piled in a heap.

The black wolf walked over to Leah, hoovering above her body. A whimper escaped it's mouth.

I watched as the silver wolf left me and leapt towards the Leah and the other wolf. I lay there frozen. Starring, as they rumbled around the ground. Seconds later the silver wolf joined the pile of unconscious wolves. I sighed in relief.

Without even thinking, I was on my feet, running over to Leah. I knelt down beside her, gently rubbing her head. Her pained eyes looked at me, the rest of her body lay there limp. I wanted so much to be able to do something for her. To help stop the pain. Seth whimpered at my side as he joined me. He licked at her face, she whimpered back at him.

Edward was the only one left fighting, it didn't look like anyone was going to win soon. We had to get Leah some help.

I got up to feet, taking a deep breath. I would have to make them stop, for Leah. I walked over to them, ready to get in the middle when the black wolf stood in my path. I tried to side step it, but it moved, blocking me again.

"Please, you don't understand, we have to get Leah help. I have to speak to Edward."

Nothing happened.

It sat there looking at me.

"Move out of my way!" I screamed at the dumb animal.

He turned from me and bounded at Jacob, knocking him onto the floor. Edward growled. I grabbed Edward's arm, standing in front of him.

"Please, we have to go."

I shook him trying to catch his attention. His eyes were fixed on the wolves. I put my hands on his face, slowly forcing against his strength to make him look at me.

He snapped out of his trance.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Edward we have to go. Please, we have to leave now. Leah needs help, we have to get her to Carlisle."

He turned, looking behind us to see Leah crumbled on the floor. He was at her side in seconds, picking her up in his arms.

"We have to hurry. Bella, climb on Seth's back."

I looked back at the black wolf who was struggling with _him, _to keep _him _away. "What about...?" I realised I had saw this scene before. The black wolf was Sam. Sam had come to our rescue. "What about Sam?"

"He's going to keep Jacob here. Make sure we get away."

I began to protest. It wasn't safe for him to stay here. What about happen when the others woke?

Seth nuzzled his nose between my legs and flipped me onto his back. I grabbed onto his fur quickly, trying not to fall off as we raced through the trees. Edward was in the lead as we hurried home. Battling time to save Leah.


	12. Chapter 12

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter Twelve**

**BPOV**

When we made it into the woods encircling Forks, we were greeted by Alice and Rosalie. They had been out searching for us. Emmett and Jasper had gone further a field. While Carlisle and Esme had stayed at home in-case we had shown up there.

Edward had ordered Alice to call Carlisle and tell him to get his office prepared for Leah, that she was in need of urgent medical care. He told Alice there wasn't enough time to explain what happened, before she even had the chance to ask. He wanted to get Leah help. There would be time for explanations later.

I choose to stay with Alice. I climbed off Seth's back and watched as he disappeared into trees, following Edward. I didn't want to delay them, not after all Leah and Seth had done for me. I knew I was safe with Alice.

"Bella!" Alice cried as she pulled me into her arms, holding me just a little too tight. "I thought I had lost you. When I heard all the fighting, and we couldn't find you. I thought that we would never see the both of you again. I'm so glad your safe. We looked everywhere, but we couldn't find you. Oh, Bella!"

"Alice." I chocked, trying to breathe.

"Alice!" Rosalie said coming to my aid, pulling Alice from me. "You're chocking the poor girl."

"Sorry." She said offering an apologetic smile.

"It's okay."

I felt tears whelmed my eyes. I was so glad to be back with Alice, to almost be home.

"Let's get you home. I'm sure you want to get cleaned up and rest." Rose said as she pulled me onto her back. "Alice you better call the boys and let them know their safe."

I was surprised at Rose, but I liked that she wanted to take care of me. I closed my eyes, half sleeping, as we raced home.

I woke up in bed, not giving it a second thought. I sat up, looking down at myself. I was now wearing a set of green, silk pyjamas. Alice must have washed and changed me.

I quickly got out of bed when I realised I was alone in the room. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't feel safe. I needed to be surrounded by my family. I grabbed a hooded top from my wardrobe and pulled it on before heading out the bedroom, and into the hall. The house was eerily quiet. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I tip-toed through the house, making my way downstairs.

As I headed downstairs the sound of regular beeping caught my attention. I knew that sound. I had plenty of experiences with hospitals, the sound was familiar one. It could only be Leah. I tip-toed to Carlisle's office. I needed to know how she was doing. The door was ajar. I peeped through the gap. I whimpered when I saw her.

She lay on the bed asleep. Her smooth cooper skin was scarred with open sores, the deeper ones had been stitched. My mind flashed back to the imagines of the two wolves ripping away chucks of her flesh. I shuddered, trying not to remember that night.

I felt compelled to go to her. I found myself standing at her bedside, taking her hand in mind. Holding it gently so I didn't want to cause her any-more pain. I cried as I looked at her. She was a shell of a woman. I could tell she use to be beautiful. Now that was all that was taken from her.

Guilt washed over me. This was my fault. This had happened when she was trying to help me.

"Carlisle, said she should be fine in a few days." I looked up to see Seth standing in the room, looking at me.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say.

"Sorry for what? None of this is your fault Bella." Seth said as he closed the space between us, pulling me into an embrace. I didn't flinch, I felt safe with Seth. He had gone to so much trouble to protect me, I didn't believe he would ever hurt me.

"You didn't ask for this Bella, you can't blame yourself."

"I...I pushed him. I was selfish. I wasn't willing to let go. If I hadn't been so selfish, none of this would have happened."

"Bella, he's changed. You have no control over what happened to him. None of us have. None us of can change what's happened. They've all been over turned by the animal inside them. They have little left of their human-selves." He looked sternly into my eyes, trying to force his words inside my head.

"Leah..." I sobbed. "She might never fully heal."

He laughed at me.

I looked at him confused.

"No one's told you," he sighed. "Werewolves are fast healers, Bella. Leah will fully heal. In a day she will be off the machines and in a few days she will be fully healed. Good as new."

I felt relief. Some of the weight I had been carrying lifted from my shoulders. She would be okay. It wouldn't heal her mental scars. Just like mine wouldn't heal, but physically she would be fine.

"She'll be okay Bella, I promise."

I forced a smile. I knew with Carlisle looking after her she had the best care, but I couldn't help worry, not when I saw her lying here like that.

"You must be hungry. You've haven't eaten in awhile. Why don't you go downstairs. I'm sure Esme will rustle you something up."

"Are you coming?" I asked him, not wanting to go down alone.

"I want to sit with Leah awhile."

I nodded. I understood. "I'll see you later."

I turned and headed out the hall, tiptoeing my way downstairs. My arms wrapped protectively around me.

When I arrived downstairs the living-room was empty. I went searching to see where everyone was. I finally found them in the garden, at the far end, near the start of the woods. From what I could see it looked like they were fighting.

Jasper and Rosalie were in the middle, while everyone else was circled around them. I found it hard to make out what they were doing, they were moving so fast. After a few minutes of watching them it looked like Jasper was teaching Rose how to fight, while the others observed.

I ran over to them. I knew why they were practising. They stopped when they heard me coming towards them. Edward flew to my side. I ignored him and continued to run till I was standing in front of them all.

"What were you doing?" I shouted. I could feel the tears coming.

No one answered.

"I asked what you were doing, someone tell me!" I screamed.

"Bella." Alice said stepping forward. "We were just having some fun."

"Don't lie to me!" I screamed.

"Bella." Edward said as he placed his hands on the side of my arms, trying to guide me away from the others. "Why don't we go in and fix you something to eat?"

I struggled under his grip till he let me go. I took a few steps back towards them. "I won't let you. You can't... none of you can. I won't lose anyone else. I don't want to lose my family. We can move away, put all of this behind us."

"It's gone to far for that." Emmett muttered. Rose growled at him.

"Bella, no one is doing anything. Please, just come inside." Edward pleaded with me.

"I know what your all doing. Do you think I can't see what it is your doing? Your all walking to your death! Look at Leah, look at what happened to her. Do you want that to happen to any of you? How would you cope if someone didn't come back?"

I waited for an answer. There was none.

"I'm asking you all, no, I'm begging, please don't do this! I can't take any more loss. I just can't..."

We stood silent for several moments. Everyone refusing to make eye contact.

Edward started to guide me towards the house. I let him. I felt weak and light headed. I needed to eat. I didn't want to go back to sleep. I had to keep an eye on them, stop them.

When we got to the kitchen Edward sat me down at the island and started making me something to eat. I sat starring out the window thinking of everything I wanted to say to him. I had to talk him into not to go through with it. If I could get through to him then he would help me with his family.

When he sat a plate of food in front of me. I ate it as quick as I could so I could speak to him. Make him see sense. I slid my plate to the side as I ate the last bite. I stood up.

"Will you come upstairs with me, while I change?" I wanted to get him alone somewhere we would have little chance of an interruption.

When we got to our room I sat down on the bed, pulling his hands in mine.

"Edward, I don't want you to go through with it."

"Bella," he sighed. "It's not just as simple as that."

"Why can't it be?"

"I've read his mind, I've seen his thoughts. He won't stop till he has you, Bella."

"We can move away. We can go anywhere. He can't follow us all over the world. He would never find us."

He shook his head. "Bella, he has your scent. He would never give up looking for you."

"We can keep moving. Please, just considered it Edward."

"I won't go on the run from a wolf, Bella." He sighed before taking my face in his hands. "The only way Jacob will stop, the only way he will give up... is if he is dead."


	13. Chapter 13

UPDATED 29/05/2011

**Chapter 13**

**BPOV**

_Edward is gonna kill me, Edward is gonna kill me_ and _please don't let him be there, please don't let him be there _were the only two thoughts running through my head as I drove past the treaty line on my way to La Push. I knew I was mad. I would be surprised if Edward didn't have me locked up after this, but I had to try.

I was scared, terrified. My body was trembling as I saw the familiar road. My hands gripped the steering wheel, fighting with me to turn and go the other way. This place held too many memories, but all I could remember were the bad ones. I forced myself not to think about it. I needed to be strong. I couldn't go down that road right now.

_You have to do this. _I tried to convince myself of the words. _You have to stop Edward killing him._

I hadn't even given a thought towards the fact that Billy might not be able to help. It was the only plan I had and it _had_ to work. I wasn't sure what I would even say to him when I got there or what I would do if Jacob was there.

I knew if Jacob was there then things would be over, war would break out. I would have been the one to put the final steps in motion.

I laughed to myself nervously as I thought about the turn of events that had lead me to this moment. At lunch Angela had asked to borrow a CD. I had insisted I went to the car myself to get it, and Edward let me go. He was bending over backwards trying to please me, trying to win his way into my good side. I hadn't spoken to him in days, not since he had told me his plans for Jacob.

When I sat down in the car looking through the CDs I found one that Jacob and I had listened to on many occasions. The next thing I knew I was in the drivers seat, with my foot to the floor, trying to out run vampires. I knew Edward would have to keep to the human pretence as he left the lunch room and the surrounding areas, which gave me ahead start. Though once he made it to the woods there would be nothing to slow him down. He was fast, I had to be faster.

It wasn't until I was past the treaty line that I had started breathing again.

Imagines of Edward pacing at the treaty line flashed through my head. I needed to be quick. I wasn't sure how long he would wait there or if he would wait.

I wasn't sure why I was doing this, why I cared if Jacob lived or died. There was just something inside of me that wouldn't allow for him to be killed. I guess there was a part of me that still believed he could be _my _Jacob again.

I was stupid for thinking that Jacob would change, that he would come back to me. He was lost just like Charlie, but I wasn't prepared to accept it, not yet. When I had lost Charlie I didn't have a chance to fight and save him, but Jacob was still here. I had to try.

As I pulled up outside the house I started to crumble. My body was shaking and tears streamed down my face. I was terrified. _Pull it together, _I warned myself. I got out the car slowly and walked towards the house, each step felt like my last.

I half expected Jacob to come running at me as I walked towards the house. Maybe he was waiting till I got to the door.

I paused at the door for several minutes, debating where to knock or to turn back. The door opened as I reached my hand out. "Bella... I thought that was your truck." I sighed with relief as I looked down at Billy. At first he looked pleased to see me, but seconds later his face changed, his eyes were glaring.

"What are you doing here?" He snapped, like I had no reason to be here, like I wasn't welcome.

"I wanted to talk with you." I mumbled.

"You can't be here. You need to leave."

"Please, just give me five minutes."

He frowned up at me, with a hint of sadness in his eyes. I waited for him to speak, but was only met with silence. What was wrong with him?

"They're going to kill him." I cried, watching him, waiting for my words to sink in.

I stood there waiting for a reaction from him, but after several minutes, I gave up. "Didn't you hear what I just said?" I yelled at him, getting more annoyed by the minute. Didn't he care what happened to his son?

"You better leave, he'll be home soon." He muttered as he attempted to close the door.

"Billy, he's your son. Don't you care what happens to him?" I screamed at him, feeling tears come to my eyes.

"Bella you don't understand."

"What don't I understand? What is there to understand?"

"He's changed, they've all changed. He's... he's not my son any more. The things he's done... what he did to you." He held his head in his hands, whimpering. He looked so weak, so fragile. I bent down taking hold of his hand, encouraging him to continue. "The whole reservation live in fear..."

A growl startled us both, our faces mirroring the same fear. I stood up, looking around, praying it wasn't Jacob. I was overcome with relief the minute I saw a white wolf running towards us from the trees. It was just Seth, thank god. I watched Seth as he run to the side of the house. He stepped out of sight for a few seconds. When he reappeared he was in human form, running to my side. He looked scared.

"We have to go. They're coming" I didn't need to ask him who, I could see from the look in his eyes.

I let Seth pull me towards the car as I looked back towards Billy. I wanted to soothe him, help him. This whole time I never thought about him, how he was feeling. How this all affected him. He was trapped, a prisoner in his own home, terrified of his own son.

Seth placed me in the car and ran round to the other side, starting the engine and pushing his foot to the floor. I watched Billy's reflection in the mirror until he disappeared from sight. I wish we could have taken him with us.

The journey home didn't take nearly as long as I would have liked it. Seth floored it the whole way home. Making me feel sick.

When we pulled up outside the house Alice was waiting for me. I was grateful it wasn't Edward. She came over and opened my door, pulling me out. She pulled me into her arms, squeezing me tight. I couldn't breathe. "Alice." I chocked.

She released me from her arms, frowning down at me. "Bella, I would love to slap you right now, but every time I see it I go ahead and hit you too hard, so I won't, but I would like too." She glared at me before continuing "How dare you be so stupid and reckless! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? I had visions of your funeral, your funeral, Bella!"

She grabbed my arm and started marching me inside the house. Her grip hurt, but I was too frightened to tell her.

Inside the whole family were waiting. Edward was in the far corner, he was standing clenching and unclenching his fists as he tried to gain control of his breathing. Emmett and Jasper were at his side. I guessed that was for my safety. Esme and Carlisle were seated on the sofa nearest me, while Rosalie was standing over by the piano.

As soon as Alice marched me in the room everything fell silent, all their eyes fell towards me. I quickly looked down at the floor, unable to look at them. I was half ashamed of what I had done, but I was also fearful of their wrath.

"Bella, are you okay?" Carlisle asked as he appeared at my side.

"I'm fine." I whispered.

"Did anything happen to you?"

"No."

He breathed a sigh of relief, rubbing my arm. "I'm glad that your safe, Bella, though you gave us all quite a scare..."

Edward growled from the other side of the room. I didn't dare to look.

Alice's hand was still tightly on my arm, I figured she had foresaw me running.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled to them all.

"Edward, no!" Alice shouted at him.

I looked up in time to see him walking towards me. Emmett and Jasper made a dash to stop him, but he was too fast and saw there moves coming. He easily dodged them. Everyone else stood still as they watched it all play out.

The next thing I knew I was pinned to the wall. Edward was holding me tight against it, making sure I had no escape.

"Edward...I..."

"Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? What he would have done if he got his hands on you?" He yelled.

I looked at him scared to speak.

Alice came over, placing her hand on Edward's arm, pulling him back from me. He let her pull him back slightly.

"We almost gave our secret away." Alice shouted at me. "I had to give a bizarre cover story to Angela, who was wondering what was going on. Edward had flew out of there once he saw my vision of what you were doing, _not bothering to look human._ I had to run after him after setting Angela straight. I knew I had to get there fast or he would have crossed the treaty line and got himself killed. There was no way he could have fought them all. Even the two of us didn't stand a chance."

Jasper snarled.

I hadn't meant to put anyone in danger like that. I hadn't thought of what would have happened to them or that they would send Seth after me. They would have killed Seth if they had got the chance. I was only trying to save everyone.

"I'm sorry... I..." I paused too frightened to finish my sentence. I didn't think Edward would take kindly to my reason for going to La Push.

"Why did you do it? Did you want him to take you?" Edward asked like he knew what I was about to say.

"No, I didn't want him too." I whispered.

"Then, why?"

"You wouldn't understand..."

"Try me."

The room fell silent as everyone waited for me to speak. I looked around, realising the rest of the family had now moved closer to us, standing guard as if they were waiting for Edward to make the wrong move.

I gulped as Edward starred me down. I didn't feel comfortable saying what needed to be said, not with him so close. I tried to slid past him, he put his hand in the way to stop me. I wasn't going anywhere.

"I went there... to talk to Billy. I hoped that Billy would help me find a solution to stop... all of this."

Emmett laughed. "Does Billy have some sort of magic wand?"

I glared at him. "I thought he would be able to talk to Jacob or... something. He's the one that knows him best, if anyone could have thought a way out of this, then it would be him."

"What did he say?" Carlisle asked as he stepped into view.

"Billy said... Jacob wasn't his son any more, that the whole of the reservation live in fear of them."

"See!" Edward yelled. "His own father is terrified from him and you go running over there. There is only one way this will end, Bella. Mark my words, Jacob has to die."

"No!" I screamed at him.

"Why not?" He glared at me, his nostrils flaring.

"I... I don't know."

I looked around the room, everyone was starring at me like I was mad. Why would I want to keep him alive?

"Maybe he can change..." I mumbled.


	14. Chapter 14

UPDATED 29/05

**Chapter 14**

**BPOV**

_Maybe he can change, _as soon as I said the words Edward had seen red. It had taken both his brothers to restrain him and remove him from the house. Afterwards the room had become consumed with silence. I could feel everyone's eyes burning into me. I didn't need to look at them to know what they were thinking. They all thought I was mad. They didn't understand why I needed to save him.

I sat on the couch, fidgeting with the sleeve of my top as I fought with tears. I wanted to run up to my room and hide, pretend that none of this was happening, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. I knew that I had angered Edward. He didn't understand my reasoning and I had to find a way to fix that.

Jacob and I had made mud pies when we were little. We had been forced to play together during my summer vacations here in Forks. Our fathers were friends, so we had spent many summers together. We were best friends... until I stopped visiting Charlie.

It stung to think of how much I must have hurt Charlie when I had made the decision to stop coming to Fork's. I was selfish and young, not thinking about him once.

Charlie had welcomed me back to Forks like nothing had happened. He had never made me feel uneasy or bad for what I had done to him. He had been so forgiving. I hadn't deserved it. I was grateful that I got those few extra years getting to know him. He was a good man, a good father. My only regret was that I hadn't made the effort in the past. I was too caught up trying not to be trapped in Forks, a town which now that held my whole life.

I was lucky to have a friend like Jacob too. He had accepted me back so easily, like I had never been gone. We slipped back into our old friendship in a matter of hours. He had always been so warm, my beacon of light... I was sure what happened between us was nothing more than a lapse. He was going through a hard time, struggling to adjust with his new found strength. He would be back to his old self soon enough. He would come back to me. I was sure of it, and in his return it would be like getting a piece of Charlie back.

**EPOV**

I was enraged by her words. _Maybe he can change. _He was never going to change, he was an uncontrollable monster. He had it in his blood. She was never going to be safe as long as he lived. I had seen his mind. He would track her to the end of the world if he had too. He had a need to claim her as his own. He wanted to have her, to savage her for his own needs and then discard her until he next needed her. Why couldn't she see that he was no longer the Jacob she knew? If only she could see that then she wouldn't feel the need to protect him.

Carlisle felt it was physiological. Bella still wasn't over her fathers death. In the weeks after Charlie had died, Bella's visits to La Push had dramatically increased. She was using Jacob as her a crutch. I hadn't been crazy about the fact she was spending most of her days there, but she had become so lost and disconnected from me, and the family, that I wasn't sure what to do. Carlisle had promised that she just needed time, and he was right. Bella had slowly made her way back to us all, but never fully releasing Jacob as her aid.

I punched the nearest wall in frustration. I flinched back when I realised what I had done. Though Esme's thoughts were more concerned for me than the wall, I still knew. I had trashed her home, something I vowed never to do out of respect to my parents. I knew how much it hurt her when my brothers destroyed things when they were fooling around. I looked down at the floor, ashamed. I had let my anger get the better of me.

I felt my brothers hands grip onto my arms. I struggled to keep their thoughts out of my head. I didn't want to hear their thoughts of pity. I didn't want to fight them either. I flinched hearing Bella whimper a sob. I was hurting her, just like him. I was no better than him.

I gladly let my brothers to lead me out of the house and into the forest. I didn't want to be there any more. I couldn't bare to watch her suffer and stand by helplessly. We ran for miles into the thick of the forest before they released their hold on me. They were trying ensuring that I had no chance of meeting any humans or wolves as we hunted. They didn't trust me to fight the temptation.

I let my body sink onto the ground. I knew I had to hunt, I needed strength for what I planned to do, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The burn in my throat was constant, screaming at me to soothe it, but it didn't want just any blood. It wanted his. I knew I would taste his blood before the day was out, but for now a nearby animal would have to sustain me.

Jasper tossed an Elk at my feet. "Thank you," I whispered to him. I was grateful that he could read my emotions and give me what I needed when I didn't have the strength to do it myself. I leaned over and dragged the elk towards me. It's eyes were lifeless, its neck broken. An easy prey. I sunk my teeth into its neck, letting the warm liquid run down my throat, soothing the burn just a little.

They brought me another three Elks, I drained each of them quickly, but they soothed little of the burn. I tossed the last one to the side as I pulled myself to my feet. It was time.

"I have to go." I said looking at them for the first time since we had entered the forest. Both of their faces reflected my own pain.

"Yeah... see ya Edward." Emmett mocked.

"We would never let you go alone." Jasper said stepping forward.

"It's not your fight. Esme would never forgive me if I lost all her family to my own selfish needs."

"We're your brothers, we wont let you face them alone." Jasper said as he placed a firm hand on my shoulder. I sighed, giving up. His thoughts told me there was no way for him to be persuaded.

We set off in the direction of La Push without saying another word. In the matter of minutes I would be facing Jacob and I would take his life, something I had been waiting on for a long time. I was sure if I still had a beating heart it would be pounding through my chest in anticipation. The intensity of burning in my throat grew with each step that brought me closer to the kill.

As we approached the treaty line familiar voices echoed in my head. I slowed down, signalling for my brothers to stop. Up a head stood two familiar vampires and a wolf; my sisters and Seth.

"You shouldn't be here." I growled at Alice, knowing that she would have been the one that informed the others of my decision.

Alice smiled up at me. "The odds are in our favour if we all go." She skipped over to Jasper and took her place at his side. They starred deep into each others eyes, both conveying how they felt for one another without the slightest touch.

"You don't know that." I snarled, snapping her attention back to me.

"Your right, I don't..." She walked over to me, standing up on her tip-toes as she placed a kiss on my cheek. "but I don't need to see the future to know that the more of us that go the better chance of us all coming home."

I sighed. I knew that she was right. There was five of them. If we all went then we would have an advantage of one, but it was still a risk. We had already lost enough to the wolves, I couldn't stand to lose anyone else.

Alice pulled my face to look at her as she stood there pouting. Out of my family it was Alice who I was closest to. We both had a special bond, we both knew what it was like to be different.

_If it helps your decision any... I can see all of our futures tomorrow, _Alice pleaded. I closed my eyes letting her share share visions.

There was Emmett and Rosalie lying in bed, up to their usual past time.

Carlisle in his office studying. Esme cooking something to eat for Bella.

Jasper sitting reading in his room while Alice paints her nails at his side.

Then there is me, sitting alone in our meadow, wallowing.

The visions stop and Alice starts to recite the bible.

"Bella?" I asked suddenly worried.

"She's fine. I just think its best you don't see that one right now."

I nodded. Truth be told I wasn't sure I was ready to see what would become of Bella after what I was about to do. I knew it was best for her safety in the long run, but I knew that it would upset her. The question was would she ever forgive me or would I lose her forever? Whatever the answer I would learn to live with it. I would find contentment in just knowing he was dead and she never had to fear him again.

I turned my back to my family and looked in the direction of La Push. "Lets get this over with." I took off as fast as I could, leaving the others trailing behind me. I heard their thoughts call out for me to slow down, that we needed to do this as a group, but I was in the hunt. I was ready for the kill.

When we entered the village everything was eerily quite. There was no one to be seen. I expect they knew we would come. They would be hiding somewhere, waiting to attack. I came to a stand still, waiting for my family to catch up. I didn't want them to run into a trap.

As they all came to a stop beside me. We all shared glances, but none of us spoke. We didn't want to alert them to our presence. It was obvious that they had something planned.

_Alice, Seth and I will go up to the left. You take Emmett and Rose and go right. We'll regroup in the middle. If you find them call out. We'll do the same. _Jasper ordered. I nodded as I watched the three of them take off. If anyone knew what they were doing then it would be Jasper. I knew Seth & Alice would be safe in his hands. Emmett would take care of Rose. I only had to defend for myself.

I signalled to Emmett and Rose to go right before I took off in that direction, not waiting to see that they followed.

As I raced around the village I caught a fresh trail of Jacob's scent. He had been here recently. It led into the forest. He was hiding somewhere close by. I followed the trail and fled into the trees. Rose called after me warning me not to go in till the others caught up. I ignored her. I had him now, he wasn't getting away. I couldn't wait any longer.

About a mile into the forest I was greeted by five snarling wolves. Jacob was positioned in the middle. Standing high above the rest as he had positioned himself on top of a rock.

_Alone are we? _He laughed.

I growled as. I slowly made my advance towards him. Paul and Embry advanced towards me. It looked like I was going to have to fight them all to have the pleasure of killing him.

"Too scared fight me yourself?" I scowled.

Paul leapt through the air launching himself at me. I twisted away from him, grabbing his body as he flew past me, throwing him into the nearest tree. Embry dove on my back the second I turned my attention away from him. I managed to grab hold of his head as I fought to keep his mouth away from my neck. I knew if he got his teeth into me, he would rip my head off and I would be finished.

As I struggled with Embry, Paul was pulling himself back onto his feet. I had seconds till he was at me again.

_Tell me... why would I want to fight you when I can watch you suffer? _Jacob mocked me.

Paul came running towards me, diving into the air. In that split second I managed to pull Embry from my back by his head, flipping him over my head and sending him flying into Paul, knocking them both to the ground.

I looked up to see Quil and Jared were running at me. I didn't stand a chance against the four of them. This was it. I took a deep breath as I anticipated their move. Jared was the first to run at me, Quil was seconds behind him. Jared launched onto me, knocking me over onto the ground. He pinned me down, snarling and snapping, trying to bite me. I struggled with him, pushing against his neck, applying pressure to his wind pipe in the hope it would knock him out.

One second Jared was on top of me, the next he was gone and I was being pulled to my feet. Jasper stood at my side. I looked around to see Emmett wresting with Jared, while Seth and Quil were tearing each other apart, though Seth seemed to have the upper hand. I felt proud of him. He had come along way.

Jasper lay his hand on my back. _You go for Jacob, we have this covered._ It was the only words I needed to hear. Suddenly there was no one else in that forest but me and him.

Jacob was still standing where he had been when I first saw him. He was watching me, he knew I was coming for him, but he didn't care, he wanted to kill me just as much as I wanted to kill him. I raced towards him, jumping over and dodging flying bodies as everyone else fought around us.. Jacob launched himself into the air and we both collided with an almighty crash.

We fell to the ground. I quickly jumped into a crouch and sprung myself at him full force, sending us both back into a tree, it creaked and groaned under our impact, shuddering as it started to tip over. I grabbed hold of it, pulling it from its roots.

Just as Jacob was pulling himself back onto his feet. I swung the tree at him with my full force, knocking him along the ground.

I watched him struggle to pull himself back onto his feet. Then I leapt onto him, pinning him down. He was beat.

"This is for Bella." I whispered into his ear as I starred deep into his eyes. I could see the fear screaming out at me, but he never once begged me to stop. I sank my teeth into his neck. His blood was repulsive, vile, but I forced myself to drink it, each gulp soothed the burning fire that scorched my throat.

I finally released my teeth from his neck when his body was limp and his veins were dry. I sat on top of him, looking down at the beast. It was over, Bella was safe. Jacob was dead.


	15. Chapter 15

UPDATED 29/05

**Chapter 15**

**BPOV**

"Mind if I sit with you?" I looked up from my seat on the porch steps to see Leah standing over me. I nodded to her and she took her usual seat next to me on the back porch. Leah had come to sit with me every day since Jacob's death, almost two month ago. I couldn't bring myself to speak to any of Cullen's, they had betrayed me and taken his life when I had begged them not to. So I was glad that Leah offered her company to me, she stopped me from retreating deep within myself. She gave me something to hold onto.

"How did you sleep?"

"I dreamed of Charlie again... I found his body in the woods, he was dead... his body had been drained."

Leah nodded. She never really seemed to know what to say about my dreams, but she always asked me. Part of me guessed she was asking for them, but it didn't matter.

"I was thinking you could come over to the reservation today. My mums cooking for a few of the families, I think its one of the kids birthdays. Billy will be there. It'll be fun."

I shook my head. I wasn't ready to see the reservation and I didn't want to see Billy, part of me blamed him for Jacob's death. He could have done more.

"Do you already have plans?" Leah asked sarcastically.

I shook my head as I looked away from her, fighting back the tears that were threatening to make themselves known. I starred up at the far end of the garden, where the forest started. I would love to be able to run like them. To run fast through the woods, to run away from here, escape from this house of pain.

I sniffed back a few sobs. Leah placed her hand on my shoulder. "It would do you good to get away from here Bella. There is no threat at the reservation now, their all gone. It'll just be Seth and me."

I flinched at her words. I knew they were all gone. I didn't need her reminder, I could still remember the exact moment I found out Jacob was dead.

_I was pacing the living-room floor, anxious to find out what was going on. Carlisle refused to let me leave the house after the others, though I had tried several times. I was scared that Edward had done something silly, that he had hurt himself because of me. _

_When Alice's vision had passed her eyes landed on me before she turned her attention to Carlisle, quickly saying something to fast for me to understand. Carlisle's eyes also landed on me, before he nodded to Alice. She took hold of Rosalie's hand and they left, running through the patio doors._

_I had paced that floor for hours, waiting on news that Edward was safe._

_I started crying the moment he came through the door. I didn't care that he looked a mess or that he was covered in blood. He was here, he was home, he was safe and in one piece. That's all that mattered._

_I wrapped my arms around him, though he didn't make an attempt to hold me back. I placed kisses on his neck, his cheeks, his lips. Tears streamed down my face. "Please, Edward, I'm sorry." _

_He took hold of my wrists, forcing me to let go of him. He walked me over to the couch. "Bella... please, sit down."_

"_Edward?" I asked as I looked around the the room. Everyone was standing there watching us. The others who had came back with him were covered in mud and blood, they looked a mess just like him. What was going on? "Edward, your scaring me."_

"_Please, Bella. Just sit down." He pleaded with me._

_I complied. I let myself slip down into the seat behind me. My eyes fixed on Edward. He knelt down before me, taking my hands in his. His eyes were glimmering with un-shed tears. I held my breath, waiting for him to speak._

"_Bella, I just want you to know how much I love you. I will always love you." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead. I felt fresh tears come to my eyes. "I need you to understand I did what I had to, to make sure that you were safe."_

_I starred at him, my mouth gaping open. Part of me knew what he was about to say, but the other part of me didn't want to admit it. _

"_We went over to La Push... we fought with the wolves..."_

"_No!" I screamed at him, pulling my hands away, trying to stand. He placed his hands on my thighs, keeping me in place._

"_Please, Bella, you have to hear this."_

"_No!" I shook my head, tears streaming from my eyes. "You can't... you can't have... I begged you, I begged you not too." I didn't want to hear what he had to say. If I didn't know, if he didn't say it, then it wasn't real._

"_Bella, please." He heaved a dry sob, placing his finger over my lips. "They're all dead. Jacob is dead." _

"_No!" I sobbed as I slapped my hand across his cheek. I flinched back in pain, it had been like slamming my hand against a rock. My hand was throbbing, my wrist ached. _

_I pulled back from him, climbing over the back of the couch, just to get away from him. I started for the door, but Edward was in front of me in seconds, his chest heaving with sobs._

"_Please, Bella." He begged as he got down on his knees, pressing his head against my stomach. "Please find it in yourself to forgive me, maybe not now, but someday. Don't let me lose you forever."_

_I pulled away from him, holding my hand close to my chest, the pain was agonising. Tears were steaming from my eyes, my chest heaving as I struggled to gasp a breath. I made my way to the front door. _

_Alice stepped away from Jasper's side, her hand stretched out towards me. "Bella?"_

"_Stay away from me! All of you just stay away!" I screamed at her, at them, before I turned and ran out the door._

_I ran for miles that day without taking a break. When I finally stopped I had no idea where I was. I was in the thick of the forest, everything looked the same. I had no idea how to get home or even where home was any more._

_I flopped down to the ground, screaming with pain. I pulled my hand close to my chest trying fight against the pain and hold myself together. I lay here crying for hours until I finally blacked out. _

_When I woke I was back in my room, in the Cullen's house. Alone._

"Bella?" I turned to see Leah starring at me, her face full of concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I told her as I put my hand up to wipe away the tears that were now falling from my eyes. I pulled myself to my feet, trying to hold myself together until I got far enough away from Leah. "I think I'll go a walk."

"Do you want me to join you?" Leah asked as she rouse to her feet, though she already knew the answer, but that didn't stop her trying.

"I think I'll just go alone."

I offered her a departing smile and walked away.

I walked off in the direction of the forest, where I would walk through the trees as far as I could go, until my legs ached and I couldn't take another step. Then I would lay down and cry until I could cry no longer, and when I couldn't cry I would let the darkness take over.

When I woke I would be back in my room, in the Cullen's house. Just like its happened so many times before.


	16. Chapter 16

UPDATED 29/05

**Chapter Sixteen**

**BPOV**

_**4 Months After Jacob's Death**_

As the months went past my anger towards Edward faded, but it was my stubbornness that kept me from him. I missed Edward, but I just couldn't let allow myself to forgive him for what he had done. I had had more than enough time to dwell on everything that had happened and I understood that he did what he felt like he needed to do. Edward did it for me. However, that didn't change anything, my best friend was still dead.

I wasn't totally convinced that Jacob would never have turned back into his old self, but I guess that was something I was never going to know now. I had to make a start on moving on with my life. I couldn't sit any longer in this world of isolation that I had been in for so long. It wasn't going to be easy, but I had to try. I had to learn to forgive my family. I had to learn to forgive him and I had to deal with what he did to me.

Carlisle had helped me realise that I needed to move on. He never gave up on me, even when he probably should have.

_(2 months after Jacob's death)_

"_Bella., do you think this is how Charlie would have wanted you to live your life?" Carlisle asked as he sat down next to me. _

_I was seated in my usual spot at the window, where I would sit and cry most of the day. _

"_You don't know anything about my Dad" I muttered bitterly._

"_I knew your father well, Bella. We worked together quite often. He was one of the few that welcomed us to Fork's. Charlie wasn't a man of many words, but his heart was always in the right place."_

_Silence filled the room as he waited on my response. _

"_Just leave me alone." I muttered after several minutes. I wrapped my arms tighter around my legs, pulling my head down so he couldn't see my face. I held my breath, trying to hold the sobs back as I waited for him to leave._

_I felt his cold hand come to rest on my arm. His cold touch soothed me, reminding me of the love I was missing. _

"_We've left you alone for long enough, Bella, I won't let you suffer alone any more." Carlisle whispered into my hair as he wrapped himself around me. I tried to fight him off, my sobs growing heavier by the second. _

_I eventually gave in. Fighting wasn't going to get me anywhere, I had no strength to match his. I allowed the sobs to take over me._

I lifted the last of my clothes from the drawer and packed them into the suitcase on the bed. I sighed as I closed the lid. This was it. Everything was packed. It was time to leave. I struggled with the zipper as I tried to pull it close, but it wouldn't budge. I tried sitting on the case, a little trick Renee had taught me, but the zipper still wasn't going to move.

"Maybe if you put on a few extra pounds then _that_ would work." Emmett laughed at me as he walked into the room. "Alice sent me to get your case, guess she knew you were struggling..." He walked over to me and lifted me from the case, standing me on the floor. He closed the case easily. "You ready?" He asked as he looked around the room.

"Just give me a minute?" I asked as my eyes followed his. I glanced around the room I had once loved, it had once held so many happy memories. Now it was just a prison, holding nothing but tortured past.

I waited for Emmett to leave the room with my case before I let myself walk around. I found myself stopping at the empty shelf where Edward's cds once stood. My finger traced along the empty wood, gathering a thick lair of dust on my finger. _There hadn't been anything sitting on here for some time._

_(One week after Jacob's death)_

_I screamed with anger as I snapped the last of Edward's CDs . I didn't feel any better, the pain didn't ease. This wasn't how it was meant to work._

_Hurting him was meant to make this easier._

_I pulled myself to my feet, looking around the room for something else to destroy. My eyes landed on the mirror, where I caught sight of a girl I didn't know. "Leave." I growled at her, but she stood there starring at me, refusing to go. "GET OUT!" I yelled as I ran towards her. She still stood there, watching me, pain sketched all over her face. Pain I couldn't bare to see. I trust my fists at her, pounding them against her face, Screaming for her to go._

_Cold arms wrapped around me, restraining me. They pulled me onto the floor and refused to release me. I screamed and fought against them. I threatened them with everything I had, but they refused to budge. _

_.._

I shook the imagine from my head. I didn't want to remember those memories. I didn't want to be that girl. I brought my arms around my chest as I felt a sudden cold shiver. I was glad to be leaving all this behind. A fresh start was just what I needed and I couldn't have that here in Fork's. If I stayed then I would never be able to escape the images of the past.

I headed into the bathroom, looking through the cabinets one last time, making sure that I had packed everything away. My eyes caught the reflection of the shower in the mirrored cabinet as I closed the door. I froze, standing there, starring at the shower as the dreaded memory came back to me.

..

_( Two weeks after Jacob's death)_

_I had gone for a shower to escape the Cullen's and their attempts to soothe me. At least in here I knew I was safe from them. _

_I had no idea how long I had been standing under the shower head, all I knew was that it didn't feel long enough._

_My hands were going through the motions of washing and tending to my body. My head was detached. All I could focus on was my anger and pain as glared at the tiles in front of me._

_I didn't notice or think about it when I reached out for the razor, nor when I fought with the plastic to free the blade beneath. _

_I didn't bat an eye as I took the blade and dug it deep into my wrist, pulling it up my arm. _

_I barely noticed as the blood started to pour from my arm. I didn't notice the pain, the pain I already felt was too strong._

_Edward broke through the door, snapping me from my daze. "Get out!" I screamed, but he already had me in his arms and was lowering me to the bathroom floor. Carlisle was beside me by the time my bottom touched the tiles. "Go away, leave me." I yelled.._

"_Edward, hold her down." Carlisle ordered as he grabbed a towel from the railing and tore a piece off. He wrapped it around my arm so tight it burned. I fought with Edward, trying to get my hand to the towel to pull it off, but he wouldn't let me move._

_I looked up at Edward. He was staring past me at the tiles on the floor. His eyes were welled and blacker than I had ever seen them before. He hadn't fed in a long time._

_His eyes snapped to Carlisle, he nodded and lifted me. Before I knew what was happening I was in Carlisle's office, where a bed had already been pulled out. Edward placed me down on it and held me in place, still refusing to look at me._

"_What's the matter Edward, don't you want a taste?" I growled at him. His grip on me tightened, but he didn't look. "Don't I smell appetising any more?" _

_He didn't answer or move an inch, it was like he hadn't heard a word. His refusal to answer me was only angering me. He did this, he did this to me!_

"_Don't you want to kill me too?" I screamed at him as I tried to wriggle free._

_Carlisle appeared at my side, before I had to chance to protest he held a cloth over my nose and mouth. My eyes struggled to stay open as I watched them fade away._

"You ready Sis?" Emmett's voice snapped me from my daze. "You okay?" He asked as he moved over to me, grabbing hold of my elbow and holding me up.

"I'm fine. I just need to get out of here." I offered him a smile as I stepped past him. Though if he hadn't been there I was more than sure I would have passed out at that dreadful memory. I hated the girl I had been.

I walked through the bedroom as quickly as possible. I didn't want to drag up any more memories I'd rather forget. I picked up coat off the bed, slipping it on as I headed out into the hall. I hurried down the stairs and straight out the front door where I almost knocked straight into Leah. _Thank god for her quick reflexes. _She side stepped out of my way, grabbing hold of me, making sure I didn't go face first down the stairs.

"Someone's in a hurry." She half laughed.

"Yeah, sorry. I just want to get out of here." I mumbled as I looked down at my feet. I felt flushed with guilt. I hadn't thought of Leah at all as I rushed to leave this place. She had been by my side for the past four month. I owed her more than a goodbye.

"I'll get you in the car." Emmett called to me as he passed us. I watched him walk over to the car and get in the drivers seat.

"Sorry. I was in so much of a rush to leave here... I didn't even think to look for you to say goodbye."

"Bella, it's okay." Leah laughed as she pulled me into a hug. "It's not like we won't see each other again. I'll be up to see you in a few weeks."

I nodded as I pulled back from her, remembering that she had said she would visit, both her and Seth. Though at the time I thought she had just said it to talk me into leaving.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" She said as she gave me a tight squeeze. "Call me to let me know that you've arrived safely. You know what these blood suckers are like, drive like shit."

I laughed at her attempt to break the atmosphere. I knew how much she cared for the Cullen's. She felt like she owed them her life for all that they had done for her and the reservation.

"I'll call you later." I said to her as I took one last look at the house before I walked away. I walked over to the car, trying to hold back my tears as I got in.

Emmett reached over and squeezed my hand as he started the engine. "You okay Sis?"

"No!" I whimpered. "But I will be... again."


	17. Chapter 17

UPDATED 30/05

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

"So, Babbitt, it's going to be bad-ass!" Emmett smirked at me as he pulled the car out onto the main road.

"You do realise that it's probably going to look just like Forks, right?" I sighed taking my last look around. Though Emmett was making it more than a little difficult as his foot was shoved firmly to the floor making the world outside blur.

"Bella, don't you never listen? I told you all this last week. We've got a big house out in the middle of the woods..."

"See, same." I said cutting him off. I laughed a little at the frustrated look on his face. I enjoyed the harmlessness of joking around with Em.

"Let me finish!" Emmett scowled at me. "We've got a big house, _and get this_, it is just next to a... _huge_ lake... and guess what the lake is called... _Bear fucking Island – Lake!" _I laughed at his enthusiasm. It was good to see him excited, it was doing wonders for my mood. This was going to be an easier drive than I thought. "_Bear! _Can you believe it?"

"How much say did you actually have in where we moved?" I asked him through a few muffled laughs.

He paused for a moment, seriousness growing on his face. "No one was really concerned where we went... just that _we went_. I may have took advantage of the situation. I typed bear into google maps, it came up with a few good ideas, but this one was the only one that panned out. Ely has a hospital where Carlisle can work and it also holds a high school for us to start out in. It's only about ten human minutes from the house"

I nodded to him, turning my attention to the world outside my window. Yes Babbitt did sound perfect... if you were a vampire. I had no idea how _I_ was going to fit in.

"There will we loads for us to feast on, we'll be eating like King's and Queen's. There will be all the usual Elk, but there will be plenty of carnivores as well, especially bear, but if I get fed up with bear then there will be wolf galore..." Emmett froze, realising what he had just said.

_Wolf._

"Dammit, Bella, I'm sorry. I'm such an ass. I wasn't even thinking... See! I knew it! This was why it wasn't a good idea for you to ride with me. Bella? Bella?"

Emmett's words faded into the background as images from the past started to fill my mind.

_(3 weeks after Jacob's death)_

"_Bella, can I come in?" I looked up to see Jasper hoovering in the doorway. I turned my attention back towards the window, hoping he would take the hint and leave, soon._

_Jasper walked over, spinning my chair around to face him before he grabbed himself a chair and sat down in it across from me. "We thought it might do you good to talk to an empath. I also have degree in psychiatry and physiology if that helps your decision to talk to me any."_

_He sat silent for a few moments waiting on my response. _

_I sat there silent, giving him the death stare, but after ten minutes or so, I could see that it wasn't going to work. "Okay, fine!" I sighed. "How. About. You. Just. Go. Away."_

"_Bella, we have to at least try. Everyone else has gone out. It's just you and me, no one will hear a thing you tell me and I will keep everything you say in confidence from the rest of the family, including Edward. Please just try."_

_I didn't hear a word he said after '__**Everyone else has gone out'. **__I felt my hands start to fumble about with my bandage, but I tried not to think of what I was doing. It was hard living with someone who could see the future, but I had learned not to think much about my actions and just act. It made Alice blind and usually gave me the advantage I needed._

"_Bella, what you doing?" Jasper asked. He gasped as he caught the scent of blood the moment my nail pierced through my wound. His eyes grew black as he gripped onto the chair trying to hold himself in place. "Bella..." He gasped._

"_What's wrong Jasper, don't you want to taste me?" I asked panting, waiting for him to come cover to me and end it all. _

"_Bella..." He whined. _

_A growl escaped his chest, as his fingers crumpled the chair into dust. He sprung onto his feet and landed in a crouch. I could see the last of the resistance was escaping him. He was going to take my pain away._

_Emmett and Edward burst into the room. Seconds later they would have been too late, but as it was it looked like they had ruin my plans. Both of them dove at Jasper as he dived and ducked under their arms. He was managing to escape their grasp. His gaze was firmly fixed on me. He wanted my blood._

_Emmett launched himself at Jasper legs, just as Edward dove at his torso. They managed to grab hold of him, pinning him to the floor. Jasper struggled, madly against their grasp, screaming like a wild animal._

_They held him there until his struggles grew weaker and he slowly regained control over his hunger._ _When they were sure he had control, Emmett led him out of the room. Edward watched as them as they left. He sat there for several moments in silence, he must have been listening to ensure it was safe._

_He spun around to face me, anger covered every inch of his face as he stalked towards me. He grabbed hold of my arm, ripping the bandage off. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" He scowled. "Have you no value for your own life at all?" _

"_Just about as much value as you have for the lives of others." I scowled back as I tried to pull my arm free from his grasp. He held onto to me refusing to release me. I pulled again and he reluctantly let go._

_He growled as he stepped back from me. He picked up the bedside cabinet and tossed it through the window, smashing it into pieces. "Ahhh!" He roared. "I knew you would be upset and that you would possibly hate me... but this! What do you think Charlie would think? Do you honestly think Jacob is worth dying over?" He screamed as he stood before me clenching his fists, his chest was heaving as he tried to gain some control over his anger._

"_Maybe I'm just sick of being some defenceless child. If you had turned me in the first place then I would have been able to protect myself. None of this would have happened."_

_All traces of anger had left his face by the time I finished. He looked liked I had just ripped out his heart with my bare hands. _

"_I'm sorry you feel that way, Bella." He said barely above a whisper before he disappeared from the room._

"Bella? Bella? Oh shit! Edward is fucking gonna kill me!" Emmett cursed. "Bella, please!" Emmett pleaded as he tried to wake me gently. I opened my eyes to see him leaning over me from outside the passenger door.

"Bella, thank god. You scared the crap out of me." Emmett sighed as he pulled out the door and rested back on his heels.

"What?" I asked as I tried to sit forward, my head was throbbing. Emmett's firm hand forced me to sit back in the seat.

"You passed out B. Scared the crap out of me. Promise me you wont do that again!"

"Em, I'm fine." I said, resting my hand on his shoulder.

"Hell, Bella. I'm sorry, all this was my fault, me and my stupid fucking mouth."

"Emmett! I'm fine." I shouted at him as I lightly slapped his cheek.

He paused to look at me. "I dunno. I think I should call Carlisle, maybe he's not too far in front and could run here."

"No! Don't! I'm fine." I said sitting myself up once more. "I need some air. Let me get some air and I'll be fine."

"I don't know. Edward will have my balls if there is something wrong with you..."

I sighed, glaring at him a little. It still hurt to hear his name and how he cared for me.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't want me to talk about him, but it's true, you know how he feels about you."

I swung my legs out the car and pushed past him to get onto my feet. We were a few mile outside of Port Angeles, surrounded by nothing but trees and road. I headed straight into the woods, not stopping to see if Emmett was going to follow me.

I only got a few steps into the woods when Emmett appeared at my side.

"Your going to get me killed." He moaned as he slotted into my pace.

"Didn't you know, vampires are indestructible." I laughed at him as I sped up the hill.

We walked for over half an hour into the thick of the forest in complete silence. Emmett was trying to give me the head space I needed. He had learned to become more considerate these past few weeks or maybe it was a talent he always had possessed, he just never choose to use.

"We should head back." Emmett said suddenly stopping.

I laughed. I knew he would be the one to break the silence. "Let me rest before we turn around?" I asked as I sat down on a mossy log.

"Sure." He sighed as he sat down beside me.

I sat there trying over and over to clear my head, but it was no good. There was just one fact that kept repeating in my head. I just wasn't going to _fit in_ in Babbitt, not while I remained human.

Emmett's cell rung snapping my from my thoughts. I placed my hand on his as he went in his pocket to pull it out. "Please, don't answer it."

"Why?" He asked, his face was puzzled. He glanced at the screen to see who was calling, but I already knew who it would be, Alice.

"I...it's... er...it's nice that it's just the two of us. We don't get this often. I thought we could make the most of the trip. Let's turn the cell off and just enjoy each others company?" I batted my eyelashes at him as I grabbed hold of the cell.

He sighed. "B are you trying to bring hell down on me? Do you know what grief I will get if I don't answer the pixie?"

"I'll tell her I didn't give you a choice. She can shout at me." I exclaimed as I jumped up to my feet.

The phone started ringing for a second time. Emmett didn't grab it from my hand so I took the opportunity and turned it off, shoving it in my pocket.

We sat for another five or so minutes talking about some game Emmett had just bought. Emmett seemed to think my motives were sincere, he didn't seem on his guard at all. I however, sat there the whole time trying to think how to bring the subject up.

"Right, we best head back. I've got a lot of time to make up for and if I don't get you there in twenty hours there will be trouble, especially now you've turned my phone _off_." He jumped up to his feet, pulling me to mine.

"You do realise it's supposed to take over a day, right?" I asked him as we started walking back. _Time's running out Bella, you have to do it before you get back to the car._

"Yeah... if you drive like an old man. Bella, we have the Mercedes."

We walked along for a few more minutes in silence. I kept opening my mouth to speak and then closing it. I wasn't sure how to bring it up or how Emmett would react.

"Bella, if you have something to say then just say it." Emmett said to me, stopping by my side.

I turned to face him. My internal struggle hadn't gone unnoticed. I leaned out and took his hand in mine. I felt the need to hold onto him and maybe stop him from running from me.

His eyebrow arched and a smirk grew across his face as he looked down at our hands. "Bella, Edward wouldn't be pissed. Hell, I don't think Rose would be happy either, but if you want me to help you out..."

"Oh, please." I said covering his mouth. I wasn't nearly ready to listen to jokes like that.

"Sorry... I forgot... sometimes... ah heck I should just keep my mouth shut" Emmett muttered as he shifted his weight between his feet.

"Emmett?" I asked trying to grab his attention.

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if I asked you to turn me... here... right now?"

"Oh, shit!" He muttered as he pulled his hand free of mine and started pacing in front of me. "No! No way!"

"Please, just hear me out!" I begged trying to grab hold of him again, but he easily averted my hand.

"Bella, firstly, I have _never _turned anyone. Hell, I don't even think I could stop..." He ranted as he continued to pace in front of me. "Not even forgetting the fact that Edward would kill me and Rose... Do you have any idea what Rose would do? She would rip my balls off and fed them to me."

"This has nothing to do with Rose or _him_!" I shouted at him, tears forming in my eyes.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I just can't."

I fell down onto my knees, sobbing. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be left like this?" I yelled at him. "I just want to be able to defend myself..."

Emmett dropped down onto his knees in front of me, taking my face in his hands. "Bella, I..."

"I don't fit in Emmett... I don't _fit in_ in _your _family."

"Bella." Emmett sighed as he sat back, pulling me into his lap. He held me tight, in one of his bear hugs as I sobbed into his chest.

"Bella!Emmett!" Edward cried as he came to a stop in front of us. _Great! I hadn't even thought one of them would try and find us, let alone him... _Edward's eyes searched over my body, finally giving a sigh when he realised he had made it in time. I was still human.


	18. Chapter 18

UPDATED 30/05

**Chapter 18**

**BPOV**

"What the hell were you thinking?" Edward yelled at us, though it was unclear who he was shouting at or if he was shouting at us both.

"I...I … she asked me, but I wasn't even considering doing it." Emmett told him as he lifted me from his lap and stood both us on our feet. He walked over to Edward, who looked ready to attack him any second. "I didn't even consider it." Emmett pleaded.

"Alice, saw you do it." Edward snarled.

"What?" Emmett shrieked. He sounded as surprised as I was. _He would have done it. He would have turned me. _

"Even if she did..." Emmett mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You can't hold that against me. I didn't do it. You can't hold something I _didn't do_ against me."

Edward growled. "If I had been any later you would have."

"Fine!" Emmett shrugged. "I get it. _You_ want a fight. Let's fight Eddy." He yelled at him as he took off his jacket and tossed it on the ground.

"No!" I screamed at them both as I ran over. I jumped in the middle of them, putting a hand on each of their chests, trying vainly to push them back as they squared up to each other. "Just stop it!"

Edward removed my hand from his chest. "Bella, go wait in the car." He ordered without glancing in my direction.

"No! Edward stop it! This has nothing to do with you any more!"

"Bella, car - now!" He roared.

I glared at him. He had no right to speak to me like that, b_ut_ I wasn't going to deal with it now. I had to stop them fighting. I wasn't about to let Emmett get hurt for something that was my fault.

"Please, don't let him do this." I begged Emmett as I turned my attention towards him. "I'm sorry. Let's just go to the car." I grabbed on his hand, trying to pull him, but he wouldn't move.

"Fine!" I yelled at them both. "If your going to fight then your going to have to fight with me in the middle!" I knew they wouldn't risk hurting me and I refused to move out the way.

"B, just go wait in the car." Emmett sighed as he took his eyes from Edward to look at me. He gave me a smile before he gently pushed me to the side. "We'll be done here in a minute."

I let out a frustrated scream as I stepped to go back into the middle of them both. Just as my foot came into contact with the ground I felt my body being whisked through the air. I was placed down a good twenty feet away from them. Where two stone arms imprisoned me and kept me from returning.

I looked towards where I had just been standing to see Jasper was now there. He was between Edward and Emmett, he had his hands on their shoulders, clearly trying to calm both of them down.

"Esme and Carlisle are in the new house waiting for us. I think they will be more than a little concerned when none of us arrive. Don't you? So I think it would be best if we all just go back to our cars and continue on our way to the new house. We can deal with this later." Jasper paused as he assessed both of his brothers. He removed his hands from their shoulders after a few minutes, he must have been happy that they both had calm down enough to function.

Jasper turned and nodded to Alice and she released her hold on me, taking a step back. I turned and glared at her as I fixed my top. _This was her fault. _She held out her hands to in defence as she took another step back.

"Give me the keys to the Mercedes. I'll drive Bella." Edward said as he held out his hand to Emmett. He went into his pocket and pulled them out, placing them on Edward's hand.

"No. I don't want..." to ride with _him. _I thought. I looked at Emmett, with pleading eyes.

"I'm staying out of it." Emmett said as he held up his hands._. _

"Bella, it's just a car ride." Alice said coming over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged her off. "Maybe if you would mind your own business once in awhile then none of this would have happened." I snapped before turning and marching off in the direction of the car.

By the time I got to the car tears were running freely from my eyes, my body was shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't know if I could handle being in a car with Edward for twenty hours and all the feelings that it would bring.

I hadn't begun to deal or even process how I felt for him. I just tried to keep him as far from my mind as possible, refusing to be in his presence or speak about him. Now I was going to be trapped in a car with him and there wasn't going to be anywhere to run or hide.

I leaned against the car as I tried to catch my breath, it was becoming increasingly harder to breathe. I felt like I was being strangled. I started chocking.. The harder I tried to breathe the worse the chocking got, until all I was doing was wheezing. I fell to my knees. My heart was racing, It felt like it was going to burst out of my chest any second. My eyesight was blurred. _I was dying._

"Bella!" I heard a faint cry. Two cold hands clasped the side of my face. "Bella, look at me. Bella, try and look at me." Edward pleaded.

My eyes searched around me trying to find Edward's face. Everything around me was full of coloured blobs, blocking me from seeing anything else. "I can't" I whimpered.

"Yes, you can. Come on, focus. Follow my voice." His soft velvet voice called to me.

My eyes scanned the area around me again. This time in the middle of the floating colours I managed to find two black eyes starring at me.

"Good! Well done, Bella." He sighed. "Now listen to me. Your having a panic attack. I need you to try and relax for me." I felt him sit me back against the car. He took my hands in his. "I want you to concentrate on your breathing."

"I can't breathe." I rasped.

"Yes, you can." He squeezed my hand. "In, out."

I tried to catch my breath, but the wheezing got worse.

"Bella!" His voice called sternly. "In... out...in...out...in..."

I sat there following his commands, my hands gripping tightly onto his. My vision slowly returned to me and eventually my breathing returned to normal. When it was over I still sat there, gripping tightly onto his hands, scared to move and trigger another attack. It made me realise that I was scared of death. I was scared of being separated from Edward forever. I needed to be changed for more reasons than just 'fitting in'.

"Bella?" My eyes flicked to Edward's. "It's okay, your okay now." I nodded.

He got onto his feet, pulling me onto mine. Awkwardness and uneasiness came over me now that our bubble had broken. I once again didn't know how to be around him. I stood frozen on the spot, our hands still linked. I was scared to move. I didn't know what to do.

"Bella, calm down. Your heartbeat is starting to race again." Edward released my hands, taking my face between his. "Bella, it's okay. I understand. You find it awkward to be around me. You don't know how to act. It's just something we need to learn and work on... together."

"How did you..." I stuttered.

"I have an empath for a brother, it helps." He reached down and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I flinched away. "Sorry." He said holding his hands back from me. "I just find it so hard to be around you and not to be touching you. Something _I _will need to learn."

I looked up at him astonished. It was a side of him I hadn't seen in him for so long. A side of him I missed. However I guess I had no one else but myself to blame for the side he had been showing me these past few months. I had done everything in my power to provoke him. I had wanted him to feel pain like I had.

"Why don't you have a lie down?" Edward asked as he opened the door to the back seat. I nodded. I slid past him and got into the car. As soon as my head hit the seat I could feel my eyes starting to roll. I was awake long enough just to feel Edward place something over the top of me, and then I was out.

..

I woke up with my face stuck to the leather seat and cramp in my legs. I moaned as I pulled myself up into a sitting position. I looked up to see Edward watching me in the mirror. He smiled at me and I offered him one in return. I run my hands through my hair, trying to tame it. I must have looked a mess.

"Are you hungry?" Edward asked.

I paused, thinking about it. I was rather hungry, my stomach was sore and growling at me to feed it. "Yeah, a little." I replied to him.

"We'll stop at the next rest point."

I nodded as I sat back in my seat. It was growing rather dark outside, how long had I slept?

"It's just past Seven. You've been asleep for just over six hours." Edward spoke.

I nodded. I was accustomed to him some how being able to read me.

We pulled into the next rest point to find a small diner and a big line of trucks. It was the sort of place I would never have considered stopping myself. I felt nervous being around men like truckers, _these days_. I couldn't stand the way they looked at you, undressing you with their eyes. I shuddered at the thought.

"We can look for somewhere else if you don't want to go in." Edward said as he sat watching my reaction in the mirror.

"No, it's fine." I replied. I swallowed a large pool of saliva and opened the car to get out. By the time I got to my feet Edward was at my side.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked looking down at me with worried eyes.

My stomach growled in response. I walked to the diner, feeling safe with the knowledge that Edward was with me. I knew he wouldn't let anyone harm me.

The diner was rather empty considering the number of trucks that were parked outside. A few truckers sat up at the counter eating their meal. There was a family sitting in a booth near the door. A happy atmosphere emitted from the place, making me feel a little more at ease. I walked over to the counter where I was greeted by a plump lady.

"Good evening my dears. You look like you've had a long drive. What can I get you?"

"Hi, can I have a salad and... a... strawberry milkshake, please." I replied as I gazed over the menu.

"Sure you can love, and what about this young man." She asked turning her attention to Edward.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure love? You can't drive on an empty stomach. You don't want to crash with you and your pretty girl in the car." The woman asked, her face full of concern.

"Oh, he already ate while I was sleeping." I said jumping to Edward's defence.

She eyed us both suspiciously before surrendering. Edward paid her and we went over to a booth at the window. It wasn't long until she brought over my salad and drink, she also gave me a portion of fries and a chicken breast. She told me she thought I needed something more substantial than a few leaves. Edward had sniggered at her remark.

I was half way through eating when the diner door banged open. I jumped startled. An older man staggered into the diner, eyeing everyone as he made his way to a seat at the counter. He wore a black checked shirt, which barely covered his big beer belly that over hanging over his jeans. His clothes were matted with dirt and I could smell the stench of drink from where I was sitting.

The atmosphere in the diner had suddenly changed. I didn't like it, but I tried to ignore it and continued eating my meal. I only stopped when I realised that Edward's hands were sitting in fists. I looked up at him and he turned to look at me instantly.

"What's wrong?" I asked worried.

"Nothing." He said, trying to cover the anger in his voice. "Just finish your meal."

I looked around the room, unconvinced by his answer, wondering what had gotten him so mad. The drunken man was sitting with his back to the counter, sneering at me.

"Hello beautiful!" He cried out to me when my eyes met his. I looked away instantly.

In the next passing seconds several things happened. Edward's phone started to ring, but he remained still, not answering it. I could only presume it was Alice. The drunk man had gotten off his seat and walked over to our table, followed by the plump lady that had severed us.

"Hey! I was talking to you." He shouted at me as he wobbled at the table edge.

"If you don't mind sir, she's trying to eat her meal." Edward snarled at him. I sat there frightened, watching his fists clench and unclench. I was terrified that Edward was going to lose it, but I was more terrified that of what the man was going to do. I _wanted_ Edward to kill him.

"Alfie, come on. This young couple are just trying to have something to eat. Why don't you come back and sit at the counter." The lady almost begged him as she pulled at his arm.

"Get off me woman!" He yelled at her and he shrugged her off, sending her flying on the floor. She let out a scream as she banged her head against the wooden floor.

"I think you better leave." Edward growled at the man as he got to his feet, standing inches from him.

I slid past the back of the man while Edward had his attention and pulled the lady to a sitting position, making sure that she was okay and most importantly that she wasn't bleeding.

The man laughed at Edward before he launched his fist back, taking a swing at his face. His fist collided with Edward's jaw and the man shot back, shouting in pain. He started muttering under his breath as he held his hand tight against his chest.

A large man, with an apron and food net on his head came running from the kitchen. "Alfie!" He yelled, grabbing hold of the drunk man's collar. "I've warned you several times before, this is your last." He continued to yell as he marched the man out of the diner.

I turned my attention back towards the lady. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, love" She said allowing Edward and me to pull her to her feet. "Take more than a small knock to hurt me, I've got a lot of padding." She chuckled, but I didn't join her. She had almost gotten herself hurt trying to protect us. I felt guilty. Everywhere I went I caused trouble. I brought danger. I had to stay away from people. It was selfish of me to put them in danger. I wasn't going to join the Cullen's in school. The decision had been made.

"Let me get you something on the house to make up for your trouble." She told as she walked back around the counter.

"Thank you, but I really just want to get back on the road."

She nodded, showing she understood. I glanced up at Edward and he placed his hand on the small of my back as he guided me from the diner to the car. He was still mad, but he was doing his best to cover it up for my sake.

I got in the front of the car, wanting to be as close to Edward as I could. I needed to feel safe. I curled myself into a ball as I looked out the window. Edward started the car without another word and took us back on the road.

Little was said between the both of us for the next thirteen hours as Edward took us to our new house. I went between dosing and looking out the window. I ran a million thoughts through my head, leaving me nothing more than confused. I finally decided that I was a danger to anyone other than the Cullen's, who could protect themselves. If Edward hadn't been there then that lady would have been hurt trying to safe me. I was too weak to be around humans. I couldn't protect them or myself.


	19. Chapter 19

UPDATED 29/05

**Chapter 19**

**BPOV**

When we arrived at the new house I was surprised to find the it was the complete opposite of the last one. Something I hadn't been suspecting, yet it made me feel quite relieved to know I wasn't going to be remembering old memories everywhere I turned. Ivy covered every inch of the large period house making it blend in with the surrounding trees, it was perfectly camouflaged. No outsider would know it was there, it was just prefect for the Cullen's. I couldn't help, but love it.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked as he got our things from the car.

"It's beautiful." I answered as I looked around. A slight shimmer of the light caught my eye, it was the sun reflecting off the water from the back of the house.

"It was built in the late 16th century, around the time Carlisle was turned. When Esme saw it she thought it was perfect for us."

"It _is_ perfect."

I followed him into the house, a large reception room welcomed us. It was beautifully decorated in a cream period wallpaper. Two large staircases were situated on the back wall, which lead to a balcony above, underneath the balcony were a set of heavy double doors. To the left of me was another door, which had a matching door to the right. Up above me was a glass dome, decorated with a cherub mosaic. The room was breath taking to say the least and it was now _my_ home.

"I thought you'd like it." Edward smiled.

"Bella!" Esme called to me as she burst through the heavy double doors. She hurried over to me and pulled me into a hug. "I'm so glad you're home, safe." She said as she released me.

Carlisle was standing behind her with his hand on her shoulder. "Bella, welcome to your new home."

"Thank you." I said as I glanced over at Esme, who was standing looking worriedly looking over me. I choose to try and ignore it. "The house is beautiful. Edward said it was built around your time, Carlisle."

"Yes, though my father would never have been able to afford something this grand." Carlisle answered.

I couldn't help but feel that something was wrong, something was off. Had the others already told them about what happened in the woods? Were they mad at me? Was it because of what happened in the diner? _It's just in your mind._

"Are you hungry, Bella?" Esme asked me, drawing me from my thoughts.

I was, but I would have preferred to head straight to my room where I could be alone to mull things over. Also, if I really admitted it to myself, I was kind of excited to see what my new room looked like, and I was tired.

"She hasn't eaten much in the past day." Edward answered for me.

"Well I have some breakfast cooking for you. If Carlisle will show you the way I will go and get everything ready." Esme said then she disappeared.

"So, let me give you a quick tour to the kitchen. I'm sure Esme will want to give you a full tour later." Carlisle said as he headed towards the door to the left.

We walked into a living room, which again was decorated in light cream period paper and antique furniture, but had modern white couches placed in the centre of the room. A large plasma TV was on the far away wall, opposite the couches. It didn't quite fit in with the rest of the room, but I knew there was no way the boys would have gone without their toys.

"It's beautiful, Carlisle." He nodded at me in response.

Edward and I followed Carlisle through the room to the door at the far end of the living room, which led to a thin corridor. It was rather small and I wondered if Emmett would even be able to walk through here. We passed a spiral staircase as we continued to the door at the end of the corridor, which lead into a large Kitchen, where Esme was waiting. She smiled at us before she went over to a large table and placed a plate for me.

I went over to the table and sat down. "Thank you." I said as I looked down at scrambled eggs and toast. I figured the sooner I finished the sooner I could get the tour over and get to my room. So I picked up the fork and started to eat, making my jaw move to chew the food, but not enjoying the action.

When I finished I looked around the room for the first time, I think this would be my least favourite room. It was dark and small. I could see was bare stones. There was a burning fire at the other end of the room and a range cooker in front of me, with a few cupboards. There was a fridge-freezer next to the cupboards, which looked out of place. I'm guessing the Cullen's wouldn't have bothered with them if I wasn't for me.

"This is where the servants would have prepared the meals." Edward spoke. "That's why it's so dark and empty. The owners wouldn't have come into the kitchen."

I nodded as I looked up towards him, realising that the three of them were stood, huddled together, watching me.

"Perhaps Edward could show you to your room and after you rest I'll show you the house." Esme said as she came over to me, taking my face in her hands. "You look worn out."

I nodded, that would be best. Edward came over and picked me up into his arms before I had the chance to stand. I began to protest, but I realised that didn't hurt to be in his arms like I thought it would. I lay my head against Edward's shoulder and let him carry me through the house. It felt good to be close to him again. We didn't take the route Carlisle had brought us, but I was too tired to pay much attention to where we went.

"Edward, Bella." Jasper's voice greeted us, making me look up.

"Not now, Jasper." Edward hissed as he came to a stop.

"It won't take long." Jasper assured him.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I asked feeling a pang of guilt as soon as I looked at him, the memories of everything I had done to him recently flooded my mind.

"I was just wondering if we could have a talk." Jasper said as he looked directly at me, ignoring Edward's infuriated presence.

"Sure." I said before turning to Edward. "Put me down, please?"

Edward placed me onto my feet, he kept his touch by placing his hand on my arm. I looked up at him to see that he was still glaring at Jasper. "Edward, it's okay." I said removing his hand. Though he had me wondering whither he was just being over protective or if something was wrong. Had he seen something in Jasper's mind? "Jasper can show me to my room, why don't you go and get a tour of the house or something. I'll be fine." He didn't move from where he was standing, his eyes were fixed on Jasper.

I stepped towards Jasper and he turned and started to lead the way. He didn't say anything to me as we made our way up several flights of stairs and down the hallway. The whole time I walked along fidgeting with the corner of my top. I was worried over what he had to say to me, but I was also consumed with guilt and his presence made it hard to forget everything I had done.

Jasper paused in front of a door. "This is your room." He said as he turned the handle and opened the door.

I stepped past him and walked into the room, amazed by what I saw. The main feature of the room had to be the three large bay windows that were framed in a rich purple satin. At the other end of the room was a deep mahogany four poster bed. Which was dressed in a deep purple to match the windows. I had a few wardrobes and drawers, but none of that really held my attention. The room was decorated in a light lilac wallpaper. The colour reminded me of the bedspread Charlie had bought me when I have first moved to Fork's.

I walked over to the window looking for a distraction from the tears that wanted to come forward. I ran my hand along the window seat as I looked out at the view. It was breath taking, from this high up I could see past some of the trees towards the lake and in the distance the hills and then more trees. Of course I wouldn't be able to appreciate the view as much as _them._

"It's not her fault." The voice from the door came, reminding me of his presence.

I turned to see that Jasper had stepped into the room, but he still kept his distance. I didn't need to ask him who he was referring to.

"She doesn't ask to see the future, she can't control what she sees." Jasper said taking a step towards me. "She can't help that her brother can read her mind..." He sighed. "The two of you were once great friends. It hurts her that you hold so much anger for her."

"Please, Jasper, not now." I said turning away from him to look out the window again. Tears began to fall from my eyes.

"You can't keep bottling everything away, Bella. I've told you before, we need to talk about this, work through it."

Guilt washed over me as I remembered the first time Jasper tried to sit down and chat to me. I had almost made him kill me. We had conversations since then, though Edward had refused to leave us alone in the beginning. He didn't trust me not to do something stupid. I didn't want to talk to a psychiatrist and everyone argued that I needed to talk things out and in the end that only left Jasper. We weren't close and at times it made talking to him difficult, but I knew I had to _try._

Jasper sat down on the window seat and patted his hand for me to join him.

"Why do you hold so much resentment for Alice?" He asked as I sat down.

"Because she was my friend. She would have saw how it all turned out, she could have stopped it."

"What if Alice saw a reason not to stop it?"

I looked up at him confused. "I don't understand."

"Bella, Alice can see the future, what if the future she saw for you while Jacob was still alive wasn't a future she wanted to pass..."

"I...I..."

"You've convinced yourself so much that Jacob was going to change, but in the future Alice saw he hadn't changed. In her eyes there was no hope."

"I don't understand, she can't see the wolves."

"No, your right, she can't. She could however see _your _future. He never gave up. No matter where you went, he hunted you... _hurt _you." The last was barely a whisper.

"Enough!" Edward shouted as he stormed into the room, followed closely by Emmett. Who put his hand on Edwards chest holding him back from Jasper.

"Edward, please. Your not helping. I told you it can't work like this." Jasper said standing up.

"I warned you, she's not ready for that and there are certain things she doesn't _need _to know!" Edward growled.

"We can't keep baby stepping around her Edward." Jasper replied quietly.

"Come on man. Jasper knows what he's doing." Emmett said as he tried to tug Edward out of the room.

I put my hands over my head to try and drown them out.

"I'm not asking you to baby step around her. I'm just asking you to not push her _when _she's not ready."

"She's never going to _be_ ready for you Edward and that's something we can work on later."

"Don't you _dare _try and analyse me!" Edward growled.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed at them all as I stood up. "Just get _out_!"

They all froze and looked at me. They had been too caught up with their argument they had forgot all about my presence.

"I mean it, Out!" I shouted at them again when no one had moved. I pushed on Edward and Jaspers arm.

"Bella, I would like us to finish here." Jasper said as he tried to work his calming vibes on me.

"To hell you will." Edward roared.

"Don't make me get Esme!" I growled at them.

"You heard the lady, out." Emmett said as he began shoving both of his brothers, with huge snigger on his face. I think he enjoyed the fact that I was bossing about three vampires. I hoped it meant he forgave me for earlier in the woods. Jasper and Edward eventually gave up fighting him and they left.

I locked the door and went over to the bed, sitting down with a sigh. I should call Leah, but I was too tired. I lay back and pulled the covers over me, letting the tiredness take me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**BPOV**

I woke up with the sense of being watched, but when I opened my eyes I was alone. Just like I always was. I looked around the room for any signs that Edward had been there, but there was none. I wondered if he had actually been there or was my subconscious playing tricks on me.

The house sounded rather quiet, though I knew there would be someone around on 'Bella watch' I got up and had a further look around the room. My wardrobes had been filled with new clothes, some of which I would never choose to wear. I also found the bedroom had an en-suite. So I decided to shower and get changed before I ventured off into the house to investigate.

The house was a lot bigger than old one, with many corridors, it was a place where someone like me could easily get lost, and did get lost. It took some time, but eventually managed to find my way to the main entrance. That was when I decided to go out and get some fresh air. I had done more than enough of navigating through the maze.

I headed to the back of the house, towards the lake. It was about a five minute walk. I found a little pier, with a few boats docked at the edge of the water. I was surprised at the size of the lake, it was bigger than I had expected. It was even big enough that it hold its own island.

I walked to the end of the pier and slid off my shoes .I rolled up my jeans, sitting down and dipping my feet into the cool water. I gasped at the coldness. It had looked so warm and inviting, but it was so cold, it reminded me that we were at the end of summer. I wasn't going to get much use of the lake , not while I remained human.

"I thought the water would have been too cold for that." I looked up to see Jasper standing at my side.

"It possibly is." I answered, looking back down at the water, hoping he would choose to leave me alone.

He sat down beside me, dipping his feet into the water, his trousers and shoes still in place. "You know... This is a new start, time to for everyone to get a start fresh." I didn't answer him. "We can't change what's happened, but we can move forward from it... Why don't you give everyone a second chance?" I screwed my face up at him as I kicked the water. "I know it won't be easy for you, but all I ask is that you try. We're your family, we love you. Don't we deserve another shot?"

"I can't just forget everything that has happened." I said as I started to rise to my feet. He grabbed a hold of my wrist and gently pulled me back down.

"No one is asking you to forget. All we ask is that you give us another chance. Help the family move forward... Time heals, if you let it."

"I'll think about it." I said as I rose to my feet again.

"I can ask no more than that."

I picked up my shoes and headed towards the trees. I walked for over an hour with the ground below my bare feet, but the but the trees were starting to get dense and the light of day was beginning to fade. I stopped to slide my shoes on. The last thing I needed was to stand on something in my bare feet and cause myself an injury.

That was when I realised that I hadn't been paying particular attention to the direction I had been walking in. I had been too deep in thought, thinking about what Jasper had said, about giving the family another chance. I thought he was right. It was a fresh start, I should try to make amends with them. I wasn't sure if it was going to work, but I would try as best I could.

I pulled my phone out my pocket and automatically looked for Emmett's number. I stopped myself. _Fresh start, right?_ I pushed the up button to Edwards name and hit call. I held my breath as I waited for him to answer.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"Nothing. Nothings wrong. I'm fine." _I shouldn't have called. Of course he would think something was wrong. Why else would I call him?_

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just called to see where everyone was."

There was a pause. "Everyone is here, at the house... Jasper said you went a walk?"

"Yeah... I'm on my way back now." I said as I looked around, wondering in which direction I should go.

"Oh, okay. Esme made you some dinner. I told her to put it to the side since you were out." Edward said awkwardly like he was trying to think of something to say.

"That's great! I'll get that when I come back." _If I get back._

"Okay, I'll tell Esme."

"Well... I'm going to go now... guess... I'll see you when I get back."_ If I ever make it home._

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Bye then." _He probably thinks I'm being strange._

"Bye... Oh and Bella, if you need me, just ask, okay?"

"Yeah... sure." I said then flipped the phone shut.

I slumped down on a fallen tree. That had to be the most awkward call I had ever had with Edward. I could only imagine what he was thinking. Now I was left with the task of finding my way home. I sat starring at the trees around me. _I think it could be... that way. _That was going to have to be good enough. I jumped to my feet and quickly headed off in that direction.

After walking for some time I reached the shores edge. There was no sign of the pier or the house. I couldn't even tell which direction was home. I thought about calling Edward again or one of the others, but it felt awkward. So it took the easy option and decided to try on my own, even though I knew I had little chance of finding the right way. I figured I still had about another hour before it became too dark and they would be looking for me.

I decided to go right, though I had no idea if that was the way to go or not. As I started to take few steps when I realised that I wasn't alone. There was an animal down at the water. It looked like a bear at first glance, but it was too small, more of a dog size. I watched it trying to figure out what it was doing as it flapped at the water.

It turned to look at me as I stepped on a twig ,while trying to move closer to see what it was. _Shit!_ It looked cute and non-threatening, but I wasn't sure how dangerous it actually was... or in fact what it was. For all I knew it could be a cub and mummy could be not far behind. I watched it as it starred at me. _It was probably better that I left. _I slowly began to back away when my phone rung. I heard the animal growl and it moved like it meant to chase me. I started to run, screaming at the top of my lungs. _What if its mother came._

The phone continued to ring in my pocket as I made a run for it, but I didn't dare try to answer it in case it slowed me down. I ran as fast as I could, falling into two stone arms.

"Bella?" Edward asked confused as he pulled me closer.

"It's going to kill me" I screamed at him

"What is?" He asked confused.

"The bear!" I shouted as I turned around to see there was nothing behind us. _Where did it go? _I scanned the shoreline and the edge of the trees trying to find the animal that was chasing me, but it was gone.

"Emmett go see what you can find." Edward nodded to his brother who was now standing beside us.

Edward pulled me closer to him and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Your safe now." I nodded against his chest. "What were you doing all the way out here?"

"I got lost." I mumbled.

"Why didn't you... Oh... well why didn't you just tell me that your were lost and I would have came to find you."

"I didn't want you to think that I only called you when I needed something." I sighed.

"Bella, I don't care why you call me, Just that you call me." He placed another kiss on my head, this time keeping his lips there.

"I knew there was no way she could out run a bear!" Emmett yelled as he tossed the animal down at our feet. "It's a Wolverine! It was probably more scared of you than you were of it."

"I doubt that." I said as I starred down at its limp body.

"Bella, Wolverine's are rather viscous animals. You were lucky it didn't feel threatened or it could have attacked you. I would be happier if you didn't go so far from the house, at least till we kill all the surrounding carnivores." Edward pleaded as he looked down at me.

I nodded to him, this time I thought he was right. I didn't want to be caught out again.

"Better not let this go to waste... My first Wolverine." Emmett smiled as he picked up the animal and turned his back to us and began to drink. I wasn't sure why he felt the need to turn his back to me, it wasn't as if the sight of him drinking was going to effect me. I had known what they did, what they are, for some time now. It did however make me realise that I have never seen Edward feast. I wondered what that would be like. I had yet to experience the hunt with any of them. I was missing out on so much.

"Almost as good as bear." Emmett said as he tossed the animal into the water.

Edward raised his eyebrow in surprise at his words. "I'll have to find one later and try it for myself."

"Shall we get you home?" He asked, turning his attention to me. I nodded and he pulled me up onto his back. I gripped onto him tight, closing my eyes as the world around us flashed by.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**BPOV**

"What do you mean you aren't going to school?" Edward yelled at me as he came into the living-room, hoovering over my seat on the couch.

"I don't want to go. I'm not going." I said as I folded my arms, looking up to him.

"Don't you think you should maybe have informed me _before _Monday morning?" He asked annoyed.

"No!" I sighed as I flicked stations.

He grabbed the control from my hand, shutting the television off. "No?"

"No!" I sighed as I picked up a magazine from the side table. I saw him hold his nose in frustration.

"Bella, you can't just do this. Carlisle has made arrangements, the school is expecting six of us to start school this morning. What are we supposed to tell them?"

"I don't care!" I glared at him over the top of the magazine. "Tell them I'm dead or something." I mumbled as I returned to reading.

"Did you know about this?" Edward shouted at Alice, who was sitting on the other couch with Jasper. She held her hands up in defence.

"You know if your _dead _you can't just go into town. We can't go to the movies or out shopping. You wouldn't be able to let people see you. You'd have to stay here, in the house, _all the time._"

"That's fine." I muttered not looking up at him.

"So let me get this straight." He said as he began to pace. "You want us to tell everyone your dead and you will be happy enough to never leave the house ever again?"

"Yes!" I yelled at him, annoyed with his persistence.

"That is just ridiculous." Edward yelled, throwing his arms up in the air.

"It's not!" I answered him. "I no longer want to be around humans. It makes sense."

"You no longer want to be around humans?" He asked, stopping in front me. "Bella! You're human."

"I'm fully aware of what I am _and_ my limitations, thank you." I muttered as I flicked a page.

"So do you care to share with me why you no longer want to be around humans?" He asked growing impatient.

"I'm a danger to them, they can't defend themselves."

"Jasper!" Edward shrieked. "Can you hear this?"

Jasper sighed at Edward who was forcing his involvement. "We can just tell them she is sick, till she comes around."

"I'm not going to change my mind." I muttered at them both.

"Bella, we have a secret to protect, we can't risk people questioning us." Edward sighed.

"That's why you should tell them I'm dead."

"Bella!" Edward yelled. "We can't tell them your dead. It's out of the question. If you had died Carlisle would have informed them long before now." I shrugged, I didn't particularly care what he did. All I knew was I wasn't going to school, ever!

"I better inform Carlisle and ask him to contact the school." Edward sighed. He left the room in defeat.

It wasn't long till the rest of the family left for school. Edward was the only one who didn't bother to say goodbye. I assumed it would take him some time to come to terms with my decision and I didn't think it was going to be easy, but I wasn't going to change my mind on this one.

I didn't see Esme all day, I wasn't sure if she was in the house or out, but I figured there would be someone keeping an eye on me. I spent the full day on the couch, in my pyjamas, pigging out on sweets and crisps while I watched old movies on the television. It was great to have a day of nothing, with no one pressuring me. I could easily get use to this.

By the time everyone arrived back from school I was spread out on the couch in a sugar induced coma. I didn't notice they were back till Emmett jumped on the seat next to me. I grunted at him as he grabbed the control from my side and started flicking through the channels. I didn't have the energy to fight with him and regain control of the television.

Rose walked into the room and started choking. "God, Bella, it stinks in here." She looked around at all the empty wrappers and half eaten food. "You need to clean this place up... and maybe take a shower." My head spun towards her, shocked by her words. I heard Emmett sniggering from his seat.

"I don't smell!" I shouted as I sat up. I suddenly felt rather dizzy. _Sugar rush. _I held my head. "Ouch!"

"You and this whole room stink. The rest of us need to live here, clean it up!" Rose snapped and stormed out the room,

I glared at Emmett, but he was too busy sniggering to himself. "I don't stink." I muttered.

I muttered to myself as I went around picking up the remains of food and wrappers. I thought it was rude of her to tell me that I needed to take a shower. I kept constantly smelling myself, but I couldn't smell anything. Did I really smell that bad to them? Or was she just in a mood with me because I didn't attend school. Either way she was out of order. I could understand her disgust at the food. I should have cleaned up after myself, but she didn't need to get personal with me.

Once I had gathered it all in a bag I stormed off in the direction of the kitchen to discard it. I purposely put it in the kitchen bin, rather than the one outside so that there would still be a small lingering smell. I hope it bothered her. Maybe I would go about planting food tomorrow to see how she liked that.

"Bella?" I glanced up to see Carlisle in the door way. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine! Great." I grunted at him.

"Good... I was wondering if we could have a talk in my office?" He asked as he directed me towards the corridor.

_Great! Edward has obvious spoken to him about today. _ "I was just going to shower." I said as I headed to the opposite door. "Apparently I _need _one." I muttered.

"Please, Bella. It won't take long." Carlisle pleaded with me.

I sighed in defeat as I turned to follow him. As we walked towards his office I started to panic about his reaction. Would he be angry with me for not informing him myself. Especially since I had waited till this morning to announce my decision. Had the school been suspicious? A thousand questions ran through my head. I knew I was being selfish and I was causing unneeded stress and attention to their secret, but I just couldn't do it any more. I wasn't willing to risk anyone else getting hurt because trouble liked to follow me around.

I wasn't surprise to find that Edward was already in the office waiting for us. He didn't look up as we entered, his face torn with worry. Carlisle closed the door and motioned for me to take a seat. I sighed as I headed over to the couch sitting down. What was there plan? To double up on me till I surrendered and swore I would attend school.

"Edward, informed me that you no longer wish to attend school." Carlisle began as he sat on his desk.

I nodded.

"Is there a reason for this?"

I sighed. "I no longer wish to be around humans."

"Can I ask why?" Carlisle asked sounding concerned.

I stood up and started moving around. "I think we all know that trouble likes to follow me around. I can't go a day without hurting myself. Everyone around me gets hurt... sooner or later. Humans... humans are too weak to defend for themselves. Believe me I know. I don't want anyone else getting hurt on account of me. The only way I can make that happen is if I just stay away from them."

Carlisle sighed. "Bella, its not your fault that other people get hurt."

"Maybe not always, but I can't stand around and watch others get hurt and be able to do _nothing_ about it."

"And what would you do to change that?" Edward snapped.

I glared at him. "You know what I want. What I've always wanted."

"I wont do that too you, no!" Edward shook his head. "I have let you down so much already, I can't take your soul away from you. I can't turn you into a monster."

I was about to shout at him when Carlisle held his hand up to speak. "I agree that Bella should be turned. If its the life that she wants and she is to be part of this family then I think it only fair to give her that wish."

A smile beamed over my face.

"I can't believe you would go against me on this." Edward hissed at Carlisle before he burst out of the room.

"However..." Carlisle continued "In light of recent events, I don't think we should turn you at this moment in time."

"What do you mean, I'm ready?" I asked angrily, ignoring that fact that Edward had left.

"I think you should work more with Jasper on a one to one basis and when he feels you are ready we can take it from there."

"I don't want to look older than everyone else, I want to be turned now!"

"I understand that and I'm sorry, Bella. I just don't think your stable enough for the transformation. Being a newborn will be hard enough on you and this family without any other issues added into the mix."

"So when will I be ready?"

"That is for Jasper to decide. I have informed the school that you are suffering from depression due to recent events in your life and I will be treating you from home for the time being. I will contact them again when you are ready to start school. I will need you to start school when you are ready."

I headed towards the door, annoyed with his decision. He knew how much I wanted this.

"Bella, please think about what I said and don't ignore it out of anger. I wish for you to become one of us as much as you do. I can see how much you want it, but this is what is best for everyone."

I stormed out the door and headed to my room. I was too annoyed with him to see that he was trying to help me.


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you all very much for the alerts/favs and esp the reviews.

**Chapter 22**

**BPOV**

A knock at the door woke me from my sleep. I fought with the covers to get out of bed, ending up on the floor with a thud. _Ouch!_ I dragged myself to my feet and went over to the door to reveal Jasper on the other side. I automatically swung the door to shut it again, but Jasper put his foot in the doorway to stop me. I sighed, turning and walking back to bed, pulling the covers over my head.

Jasper coughed from the foot of my bed, I ignored him. He coughed again. Nothing. "Bella?"

"Go away." I mumbled.

"Bella!" Jasper shouted annoyed as he pulled the covers from my face. "We will be leaving for school soon. I thought you could make a habit of getting up each morning. That way when you return to school getting up in time won't be so hard on you."

"I'm tired."

He sighed in frustration. He walked over to my bedside table and placed down a notepad and pen. "Carlisle spoke with me last night. It is both our understandings that you would like to be turned. In order for that to happen you need to work with me to process what has happened." He waited for me to speak. When he saw that I wasn't going to he continued. "I would like you to start writing down your feelings and anything else that you would like to discuss or cover." He patted the notepad. "When I return from school we will have our first session." He didn't bother waiting for a reply. He turned and left. I heard the door click into place. I picked up the notepad and tossed it across the room.

I woke up a few hours later with the sun streaming through the window. Someone had opened the curtains and placed the notepad back at my bedside. I decided to ignore it and I made my way into the shower, quickly getting washed and dressed. I then headed down stairs and grabbed some toast for breakfast, tossing the dishes in the sink. I sat at the table starring out the window wondering what to do. It was already Eleven o'clock. I thought of investigating the town, but I really didn't want to be around people. Maybe I would go at night when everything was closed. I eventually settled on going for a walk. I packed some food in a backpack as I wasn't sure how long I would be gone. Then I headed out.

As I walked past the pier at the side of the lake I decided to jump in one of the boats. I wanted to check out the island, it had been on the back of my mind since I first saw it. I grabbed a thick branch that was laying around the ground, to use for protection should I happen to meet any more wild life. Then I started rowing to the island, I was only about half way there when my arms began to throb. I wasn't cut out for this exercise. I wasn't like them, I did get tired.

I really didn't want to be left sitting on the lake for the rest of the day. I had to get there and back before they returned from school. I pushed myself to row and row till I made it to the island. I was exhausted by the time I got there. I stumbled out the boat and my foot slipped into the water. My shoes were soaking and so was my trouser leg. _Great! Just great! _I struggled to pull the boat onto the land and then went to take a rest underneath a tree.

I rested till I caught my breath back and the pain in my arms dulled. I then go up I removed my trousers, hanging them over a branch that was in direct sunlight, hoping they would dry. I wasn't sure if they would, the sun wasn't at its warmest and the wind was blowing hard. I was left to walk about in my t-Shirt, boyfriend pants and squidgy shoes. If only I knew how to start a fire then the jeans would have dried quickly.

It was too cool to stand around, I had to keep moving to try and keep myself warm. I picked up my branch and started to move around the island. I quickly began to realise I was on the wrong island when in ten minutes I had reached the other side and could see a bigger island further in the distance. I hadn't noticed there was more than one island. I huddled against a tree, trying to use it to break the wind as I starred over at the other island. I really wanted to see _that_ island.

I took my shoes off and tossed them behind me, followed by my socks. I was going to see that island. I dove into the water and swam as hard as I could for as long as I could, before I got tired. I was still too far from the main island and just as far from the island I had left. It was a lot further than I had thought. Maybe not such a good idea.

The water was cold, the longer I stayed in it the harder it was becoming to move my arms or legs. The cold was seizing my body. I was starting to get so tired, too tired to keep fighting. I need to rest. Maybe if I just floated here for a second. My body felt so heavy.

**EPOV**

_Edward! _Alice's thoughts called to me as I sat in the middle of my English class. _It's Bella, I'm coming to get you out of class._ She then proceed to play the vision she had of Bella in her mind. She diving into the lake, trying to swim, but water was too cold and she was starting to get hypothermia. She was going to drown. I curled my fists in anger. What the hell was she doing? I had to go to her. _Stay where you are! I'm outside the door. _Alice commanded.

There was a knock at the door. My teacher Mr Fawlker, an older man, slowly got up off his seat to answer it. He peered through the window of the door before answering it. "Yes?" He asked Alice when he eventually opened the door.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson, sir. I am here to remind my brother, Edward Cullen, of his appointment at the hospital, which he is suppose to be attending just now. My father, Dr Cullen, asked me to remind him this morning, but I'm afraid I forgot. If you'll forgive me, as its my fault and not his. Now I'm afraid he is late and he will have to hurry."

He seemed taken by her charm and good looks. "Very well. Edward if you will." He said as he turned to face me.

I grabbed my bag and coat and hurried out the door to my sisters side. We marched along the corridor as fast as pretence would let us. "How long do we have?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure." Alice hesitantly answered. "She could be in the water just now."

"Where?" I snarled.

"It wasn't very clear. I think she is on one of the islands, trying to get to the larger one. I'm sorry Edward. I didn't think she would do anything like this. I've been trying not to watch her future all the time I thought it might make things between us better."

"It's not your fault Alice. Get the others. We don't have time to waste." I ordered her.

I marched as fast as I could out of the school and then out of sight where I was free to run as fast as I could. I run to the nearest part of the lake which was on my side near Ely. I stood there listening to for any splashing or signs of distress, but I couldn't hear anything over the the waves, the wind was making them strong. She would have no chance against the water. I listened again, but still heard nothing. Maybe we had time, maybe she wasn't in the water yet. I raced towards the house at the other end of the lake. When I got there one of the boats were missing. She had already gone.

"Edward!" I heard Esme cried to me as I waded into the water. She came running to my side, grabbing my face in her hands. "I'm sorry, Alice called. When I left she was still asleep, I only went into town to grab some food. I'm sorry."

"Esme, it's okay." I sighed. "We just have to find her as quickly as possible. Please, we have to check all the nearby islands. She is on one of them..."

I made my way to the nearest island from the pier. That's where I found the boat and Bella's jeans hanging on a tree. _What was she doing?_ As I made my way around the island I found her shoes at the other side. This had to be the right one. I scanned the water, but there was no sign of her. "Over here." I yelled to my family. "I think she's gone under."

I dove into the water, holding my breath as I went under. I looked around the water, but was dark and murky, making it hard to see even for our eyes. With every passing second I knew I was closer to losing her. Then I heard him call. "I've found her."

I rose to the surface to find Emmett pulling her onto the nearest island. "Hurry Edward, she's not breathing."

I swam over to them as fast I could. Emmett was sitting at her holding her hand as she lay lifeless on the muddy ground. I opened her airways and began CPR breathing into her mouth several times and then pumping her chest. _One, two, three. _Nothing. I pushed air into her mouth again. _One, two, three. _Nothing. Again, I started breathing into her mouth, then pushing her chest. _One, two, three. _Nothing.

"Come on, Bella, breath." I yelled at her.

Again. I pushed air into her mouth. I pushed on her chest. _ONE, TWO, THREE. _Nothing. I began to start again when Alice placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, she's not going to make her."

"No!" I growled, shoving her away.

"If you bite her now, you can change her... Edward, it's the only way!" Alice cried as Jasper tried to pull her close to him.

"No!" I yelled, followed by a cry of pain as I looked down at Bella's motionless body. _This wasn't how it was meant to be. _

"If you don't do it now she will die." Alice yelled at me freeing herself from Jaspers arms and trying to push me out the way. "If you wont do it I will."

"No!" I snarled as I tossed her to the side.

I took one last look at Bella, my Bella, my love. _I'm sorry._

I sunk my teeth into her neck, sending my venom through her body and starting her transformation. I pulled back and cradled her in my arms. _What had I done? _


End file.
